The Diavorce Solutionist

Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap with the Divorce Solutionist

Unlocking Strategies

This is “Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap,” a trustworthy book that will help you confidently understand and handle the complicated world of divorce. People thinking about breaking up, going through the process, or starting over after a divorce can use this blog. Its goal is to help and support you at every step. We want to help people get through the mental, legal, and financial challenges of divorce by giving them valuable tips, expert advice, and caring support, all based on the Divorce Solutionist. We know that getting a divorce isn’t just a legal process; it’s a trip that changes everything about your life, from family ties to finances. 

Our goal is to make the divorce process easier by providing helpful papers, personal stories, and tips from professionals. We want to help by clarifying the legal process, providing information about your mental health, and giving you helpful advice for going forward. We aim to provide you with the information and help you need about things like co-parenting, money matters, and personal growth so that you can make intelligent decisions and move toward a better future.

What is divorce? 

Divorce signifies the official termination of a marriage in the eyes of the law. It is a formal procedure that ends the legal connection and obligations of a married pair. Although the causes of divorce are multifaceted and diverse, essentially it signifies that a married couple is unable to reside together as partners.

Legal proceedings usually consist of navigating a judicial process to officially end the marriage. This may include matters such as dividing belongings and obligations, determining child custody (if kids are present), and providing spousal assistance.

Emotional Effects

The process of divorce can bring strong emotions for all parties, such as the couple, kids, and relatives. Emotions like sadness, anger, confusion, and guilt are frequently experienced.

Life changes

When people get divorced, their living situations, earnings, and family ties can change significantly. Both people involved should think about how these changes will impact their lives and the lives of any children they may have.

Divorces aren’t always nasty. Sometimes, couples can work with a referee to find a fair and helpful answer. Different places have different divorce laws. It’s wise to talk to a lawyer who knows the rules in your area before you decide to get a divorce.

Managing finances during separation and divorce

It can be hard to deal with money during a divorce or separation. You can make sure your financial future is safe if you plan. This is a complete plan if you need help with your money in these challenging times.

Bank Statements

Checking, savings, and investment accounts, whether group or private, should all have new bills sent to them. Keep track of your IRAs, 401(k), and any other savings accounts you have. Make copies of your mortgage, car loan, credit card, and any other debt documents you need as proof.

Develop a budget

Make a list of everything you buy and the money that comes in and out, like food, gas, rent, mortgage, etc. This will help you determine what’s going on with your money and what changes you need to make.

Ensure Your Financial Freedom

Set up separate bank accounts so you can manage your money independently. You might want to close down shared accounts to stop people from spending money without permission.

Conclusion

As we wrap up our exploration of “Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap,” keep in mind that divorce can be difficult but it also presents a chance for personal development and rejuvenation. Whether you received support in grasping legal intricacies, handling feelings, or repairing connections, realise that you have companions on this path. The Divorce Solutionist is dedicated to standing by you throughout all stages of divorce and after. Keep in mind that the healing process requires time, and every small progress made is a success. 

Keep making self-care a priority, reach out to loved ones and professionals for support, and believe in your own resilience as you navigate through this chapter. We appreciate your participation in our community. We recommend that you go back to our materials, discuss your experiences, and continue to expand your knowledge and develop. Welcome the future with positivity, confident in your abilities and know-how to establish a satisfying life after a divorce.

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Decoding Perjury: Your Guide to Truth in Family Court

Truth in Family Court

In family court, where decisions have a significant impact on lives, truth serves as the foundation on which justice is constructed. However, understanding these legal complexities can sometimes seem like solving a complicated puzzle, with clarity and truth being hidden by the haze of strong emotions and disputes. Grasping the concept of perjury is essential in this situation, as it has the potential to influence results, undermine impartiality, and diminish confidence in the legal system. Lying in family court goes beyond a legal definition; it damages trust and can break apart families. Misleading statements about finances, custody arrangements, or personal conduct have consequences that extend beyond the courtroom. 

Identifying signs of lying necessitates a sharp observation of contradictions and a dedication to finding the truth that goes beyond self-interests. In this manual, we explore the intricacies of committing perjury during family court hearings. We will examine the elements of perjury, ways to spot possible lies, and the significant consequences it can have on both legal proceedings and individuals’ lives. Our goal is to empower people with the information necessary to navigate family court confidently, truthfully, and ethically, by clarifying this frequently misunderstood subject.

The importance of truth in family court proceedings

Legal fights in family court are frequently filled with intense emotions. Divorces, disagreements over child custody, and similar matters have the potential to bring out people’s most unethical side, leading them to distort or create evidence in order to come out on top. Nevertheless, truth is the foundation for making fair judgments in family court. This is the reason why honesty is crucial.

Safeguarding Children’s Welfare

Children are the most at-risk individuals in family court proceedings. Judges depend on precise details regarding a child’s home situation, parental capabilities, and connections in order to make decisions that serve the child’s well-being. Falsehoods can hide important information, resulting in situations that negatively impact a child’s mental or physical health.

Fairness and Equity

Both parties should receive an impartial hearing grounded in the evidence. When a party deceives, it hinders the other’s capability to present their argument successfully. If a judge is given a distorted view of reality, they will not be able to make a fair decision.

Long-Term Durability

Decisions made in family court can frequently result in long-lasting effects. Arrangements for custody, payments for child support, and division of property can have long-lasting effects on individuals’ lives. Constructing these arrangements based on honesty enhances their durability and diminishes the chances of future conflicts arising from prior dishonesty.

Deterrence and Consequences

Providing false information in court is a grave crime that can result in perjury charges. The risk of facing legal consequences may prevent individuals from falsifying evidence or deceiving the court. Encouraging open communication in family court is important. Despite the adversarial nature of court proceedings, being honest can help set the stage for future cooperation, particularly when co-parenting is involved. Parents can prioritise their children’s well-being knowing they can depend on honest information from the other parent.

How to recognize potential instances of perjury in court documents

Recognizing possible perjury in legal papers demands close attention to details and comprehension of legal principles. Here is a manual to assist you in identifying warning signs.

In the document

Search for conflicting statements in the same affidavit, testimony, or legal filing. This may include dates, times, locations, or particular event details. Compare the document in question with other statements from the same individual, such as previous depositions, witness testimonies, or police reports, found in various documents. Differences among these sources may signal possible perjury.

The cat was sleeping peacefully on the windowsill. The sun was shining on its fur, creating a warm glow. Not being specific or using vague language. Ambiguous phrases such as “I think” or “as far as I can remember” are employed to prevent making conclusive statements that might be discredited.

Excessively general statements could also be viewed with scepticism. For instance, proving “I never witnessed him” over a long period of time could be challenging to verify. Illogical or nonsensical statements should be taken note of. This might include providing false alibis or making claims about events the individual couldn’t have seen.

Be cautious of papers that have been heavily revised, erased marks, or irregularities in layout. These might be efforts to hide or change information. Make sure to take note of the day the document was signed. If a person states they observed an occurrence but signed the legal document at a later time, it could spark skepticism.

Conclusion

To sum up, seeking truth in family court is more than just a legal duty, it is a moral necessity. After delving into the intricacies and outcomes of lying under oath, it is evident that truthfulness is crucial for a proper and equitable legal system. By staying open and honest in all actions, people preserve the purity of the legal system and guarantee that choices are based on reality. Going ahead, it is crucial for everyone involved to prioritise ethical behaviour and accuracy of information. In this way, we create a space where fairness can succeed and where the well-being of families and children is safeguarded. 

We should not forget that lying under oath has consequences that reach beyond just the legal outcomes; it also damages people, connections, and the faith in our legal system. Let’s work to maintain fairness and honesty in family court by upholding these values throughout the legal process, ensuring that justice is not only achieved but also perceived.

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Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter

Divorce Solutionist

Welcome to Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter the reliable source for confidently navigating the challenges of divorce with clarity. If you are thinking about divorce, going through it, or adapting to life after, our newsletter offers valuable insights, expert advice, and practical solutions. Divorce entails more than just a legal procedure; it represents a significant shift in various facets of life, such as emotions, finances, and family dynamics. At “Stay Informed,” we recognize the difficulties you encounter and are dedicated to providing extensive assistance to guide you along every step of the way.

Every issue of our newsletter addresses various important topics related to your divorce process, such as comprehending legal steps, maintaining emotional health, handling co-parenting relationships, and preparing for a stable financial future. We also explore different ways to resolve disputes, showcase local resources, and feature stories of people who have successfully moved on after a divorce. Become a part of our subscriber community to gain access to information and tools for making educated choices and succeeding after divorce. Join now and allow “Stay Informed” to be your reliable partner during this transitional phase of life.

Emotional and Psychological Impact

The world is quickly being changed by artificial intelligence , and its impact goes well beyond just technology. it is greatly affecting our emotional health and mental state, bringing both advantages and difficulties.

Effect on feelings or emotions

Worrying about artificial intelligence taking over human jobs can cause anxiety and feelings of insecurity. Individuals might have concerns about their capacity to rival machines or dread being completely displaced from their jobs.

Loss of Control

With the advancement there is a growing possibility of losing control. The use of algorithms in finance or criminal justice can lead to worries about visibility and equity. Social isolation can result from depending on assistants and social media algorithms, causing a disconnection from real-life relationships.

Positive feelings

The Capable is eliciting positive emotions as well. -driven chatbots have the ability to provide companionship and assistance, while customised suggestions can improve user satisfaction and overall experience.

Self-worth

engagement with that performs well in certain areas may result in experiencing inadequacy or inferiority. Questioning the definition of humanity can arise due to the increasing abilities  . As human and machine intelligence become less distinguishable, our understanding of ourselves may be questioned.

the capability to transform the field of mental health care by providing support. Artificial intelligence tools are able to examine data to detect symptoms of mental health problems early on, while chatbots can offer initial help and information. Relying too much on  for mental health support may result in feelings of detachment and a loss of human connection.

Benefits of alternative dispute resolution

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) presents an appealing option to the usual court battles, offering multiple benefits for conflict resolution. Below are a few key advantages:

Cost efficiency

Utilising ADR methods is generally cheaper compared to the traditional route of legal litigation. Legal cases include costs like filing fees, attorney fees, expenses for expert witnesses, and the time dedicated to attending hearings and trials. On the contrary, ADR is frequently simplified and includes reduced costs for mediators or arbitrators.

Saving time

Legal proceedings can be drawn out for extended periods of months or even years. ADR provides a quicker solution. Mediation and arbitration sessions can be arranged promptly, with agreements reached within a few weeks or months. This helps both parties save time and progress more swiftly.

Maintaining Relationships

Legal disputes can create conflict and strain relationships between those involved. ADR promotes a collaborative setting for both parties to strive towards a solution they both agree on. This is especially advantageous when there is a need to sustain an ongoing business relationship or personal connection.

Enhanced Authority

The ultimate decision is made by a judge in the courtroom. ADR gives the parties in the dispute more authority over the result. By mediating, they are able to collaborate in creating a resolution that meets their individual requirements and desires.

Confidentiality is not usually maintained in court proceedings as they are generally part of public record. ADR, conversely, is private. This gives parties the opportunity to freely talk about confidential information without worrying about negative public attention or harm to their image.

Conclusion

We hope that you have found valuable guidance and support for your journey in this latest edition of Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter. Keep in mind, divorce is a tough phase, yet with understanding and support, it can also be a chance for personal development and fresh starts. Keep in touch with us for future editions where we will delve into important subjects like legal concerns, mental health, co-parenting approaches, financial preparation, and others. We aim to give you the tools and information necessary to confidently and clearly navigate through divorce.

We appreciate your participation in our community that is committed to helping people during this challenging time of change. “Stay Informed” is available to offer support and guidance to help you flourish after divorce, whether you need practical tips or emotional reassurance. Sign up now to keep updated and connected with our expanding group of divorce experts.

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How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court

How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court

Today, we’re diving into an all too important and often complicated topic: navigating the twists and turns of family court to beat your opponent. Whether you’re representing yourself or you’ve got an attorney by your side, using the right tactics to execute a keen strategy is non-negotiable if you want to get custody of your child(ren). So, let’s strategize together on preparing to win custody.

Coming Up with a Gameplan in Family Court

Strategy is the foundation of any custody or divorce case in Family Court. It’s not the law or procedure that gets people what they want, or even close to what they’re seeking, it’s strategy. Having a well-thought-out gameplan serves so many purposes, especially in a place like family court where anything goes. You can have a gameplan but if you don’t have the specific tasks to achieve your goals then you’re wasting your time. Being ready for the unexpected, having a backup plan for the letdowns, and staying on course when things get tough are all good reasons to have one. 

Using the Right Tactics to Execute Strategy

First off, let me share with you the first step in coming up with tactics that will execute your solid gameplan for your family court case: take the time to journal your current situation. Be honest and open with yourself about every aspect of your current circumstances concerning your finances, your living situation, your health, etc. Jot down everything real and happening right now. Why? Because family courts are dynamic and what’s true today may not hold tomorrow but you need to be prepared for it all. 

Next in your gameplan execution is: Understanding everything about your opponent including their motives and circumstances. It’s not just what you know about the other party from when you were together, it’s also identifying the key components of the other party’s case theory. You need to know their “real” motives, their case strengths and weaknesses as well as their current situation. Knowledge is power here, folks. 

Once you’ve done that, or while you’re doing that, it’s time to conduct research and investigation to see what’s out there.  Research can help you make the best argument, make informed decisions, and position your custody or divorce case for the outcome you intend on getting. The information will help you get into the nooks and crannies of every step of the family court process, this helps increase your chances of success tenfold. You will need to find applicable court rules & laws, the background information on the key players (like the judges and lawyers), and any resources that might be available for family court litigants. Investigating is necessary to help back up everything you know about the key players as well as to find out what you don’t know about them.

Then after you’ve done your research and investigation you need to brainstorm, take everything you’ve learned and discovered, and figure out what to do with it. Do you use it now, hold it for the right time or not use it at all -these are all that you need to ponder. The key is to make use of it all the best way possible. Some things might not matter right now but might be critical later, and vice versa.

After all of this, it’s time to plot. Plotting takes planning and preparing to a whole other level. It’s not merely deciding what your next move should be. Plotting is basing your next move on what the other party’s next move will be. This is called “preemptive” moves, which are different from preventive ones. It’s not just anticipating their moves, it’s deciding what your next move should be based on what you anticipate they will do. You’re getting in front of anything they can possibly claim or defend.

I cannot stress enough the importance of strategy. Think of it this way: law might dictate 20% of your case, but your tactics can sway the remaining 80%. And remember, family court can sometimes be biased and often dismissive of what we consider ‘rights.’ Brace yourself for these challenges, and factor them into your game plan.

In building a strategy, assess your strengths, weaknesses, threats, and the favorable factors at play. This isn’t simply about having resources but about thinking critically. It’s plotting—meticulous and calculated planning.

Tips to Employ Tactics

You can have a clear vision of what you want but be confused about how to get there. This happens more than you think. It’s paying attention to the details that are extremely critical to successfully executing any gameplan. These are some key things to keep in mind:

  1. Being organized can’t be optional. Create a prioritized plan, and then make a backup—because, let’s face it, life loves throwing curveballs, especially in family court. Consider the ‘best interest of the child’ factors critically, and always maximize your time and arguments in court.
  2. Skills and confidence could mean the edge you need, and these don’t always come from your attorney. They come from you, developing them rigorously.
  3. When presenting your case, think outside the box. Be creative, and resourceful, and always question with specific intent. Don’t ask something when you can answer it yourself. Pay attention to the details; that’s where the devil (and sometimes the angel) lies.
  4. Flexibility is key—I can’t emphasize that enough. Speak with goals in mind and be discreet about your intentions. In court, making the other person comfortable can be your stealth weapon; they listen better, understand better, and are more inclined to trust and believe you.
  5. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, don’t give too much away. Be mindful of the judge’s reactions, ask questions strategically, and always keep the oversharing in check.

 

In conclusion

Don’t destroy a perfectly good case by going to family court blind. You need to stop, plan/organize, and then take action…the “right” action though not just any action.

 

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Using Public Agencies Resources in Your Custody Battle

Agencies’ Resources in Family Court

Using Public Agencies’ Resources in Family Court

You absolutely need to use everything in your arsenal, or that’s at least available to you, if you have any chance of winning your custody or divorce case on your own. When I say on your own, I don’t mean literally. I mean if you are representing yourself, are pro se, then it is ever more important that you take advantage of all of the resources out there. Being pro se in Family Court is already very challenging, and can be more disastrous for your case, so you need to do what you can to minimize the obstacles from every direction.
Family Court is Smorgasbord

Look, let’s face it, Family Court is not your typical court. Not at, unlike most other courts, the Family Court encompasses the most sensitive topics regarding family, relationships, and parenting.  Some would go so far as to describe it as a confluence of a mental health facility, a social services agency, and a place for justice. And whether you agree or not, the reality is that Family Court is rarely ever solely about what’s being discussed in court. At the same time, since there’s always more going on than the obvious, there are typically several other resources or entities that can step in to diffuse most situations.

Being Preemptive in Family Court

Domestic violence (IPV), substance abuse, child abuse/neglect, mental health issues, and developmental issues are all prevalent in most, if not all, Family Court divorce or custody cases. Getting these issues addressed by the right authority can oftentimes minimize their impact on the court experience. It is best to not only take preventative measures whenever possible, but there at times when it’s best to take preemptive ones instead. This means preparing for the attack before the actual attack occurs. So, for instance, if you know that the other party or opposing counsel will raise issues of allegations of abuse, you would find out every procedure, program, etc. that would address the abuse. How you would use the insight will depend on the nature of the allegations, the extent to which they will play a role in your case and the possible outcomes.

Tips for Utilizing Agencies in your Divorce or Custody Case

When navigating a custody case, social service and public agencies can provide valuable support and resources. Here’s how you can effectively utilize them:

  1. Research relevant and applicable agencies: Almost any of the issues that are prevalent in Family Court have a corresponding agency that acts as a gatekeeper, monitor, or rehabilitative resource. Start by identifying the agencies that deal with these. Familiarize yourself with their roles, responsibilities, and services offered.
  1. Understand their processes: Learn about the specific processes and procedures followed by each agency. Always start by going to their website, where information about their structure, mission, procedure, etc. can be found. Then see if they hold public meetings, have information sessions, etc. so that you can establish contact with a person on staff.
  1. Make direct contact: It’s always ideal to have direct contact, via phone or email, where you can ask a staff person specific questions that can help you in your case or defend yourself in the case. You don’t need to divulge any sensitive information. In fact, it is advisable to be very careful that you don’t share particular issues of danger to mandated reporters, where you can be implicated unless you are prepared to present your defense. Consult with a family law attorney to understand the best approach for involving public agencies in your particular custody case. They can guide you through the legal aspects and help you navigate the specific requirements and protocols.
  1. Use the information in your case in court or as part of negotiations: Once you know how the agency works, what the criteria are, what they offer, etc. you can use it in your case no matter what position you’re in with respect to it. That means you can use it to work on your case’s weaknesses, use it to request appropriate services for the other party, or use it to get the help you need for your child(ren).
  1. Collaborate with professionals: Public agencies often work closely with professionals such as social workers, counselors, evaluators, GALs and lawyers. Be cooperative and open to their involvement, as their assessments and recommendations can influence the outcome of your case. Provide them with any relevant information or evidence that can support your position.
  1. Take advantage of any rehabilitative programs offered: Lots of these agencies have preventive classes, workshops, etc. offered for free or reduced costs. Things like parent education, sobriety programs, etc. are usually topics covered.
  1. Maintain documentation: Keep detailed records of all interactions, communications, and documents exchanged with the public agencies involved in your case. These records can serve as valuable evidence and help ensure that your concerns and actions are accurately documented.
  1. Follow up and stay informed: Stay engaged in the process by regularly communicating with the agency and using what you’ve learned or worked on to your benefit.
In Conclusion

Remember, every jurisdiction might have different processes and guidelines regarding the involvement of social services and public agencies in divorce or custody cases. Not to mention, judges are not too fond of litigants abusing or misappropriating these agencies’ resources. However, they can certainly defer to any recommendations, commendations, etc. made by these agencies and rely on them to help make sound rulings.


If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

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Use Your Appearances as Part of Your Strategy, Part Two: The Family Court Status Conference

Last week I started a 3-part series on incorporating strategy in Family Court appearances. The goal is to show you how having a solid game plan enables you to position your case advantageously. Last week I focused on the first court appearance in custody or divorce, the Initial Conference. This week’s focus is on using the Family Court appearance that follows the Initial Conference, the Family Court Status Conference as part of creating your strategy.

What the Family Court Appearance Status Conference Is

A status conference, in divorce or custody, gives the parties the chance to update the court on what has occurred since additional documents have been filed, to follow up on how temporary orders are working, or to check-in whether certain conditions have been met. The court will want to know how things have been going with respect to visitation to see if things can be resolved without a trial. If at the last court appearance either of the parties was self-represented, the court will want to know if that party(ies) hired a lawyer.

If the judge ordered certain procedural things, like a drug/alcohol screening, a mental health evaluation, or a home investigation, it would follow up with whether those things have been done. Also, if a GAL has been appointed, then the court will want to know the status.

The Goal of the Family Court Status Conference

Family Court, like most other courts, has an interest in saving time and resources. This means that the judge will always aim to get the parties to settle their case.  Family Court appearance Status Conference in custody or divorce is slightly different than the Initial Conference. The court’s hope is that by employing the tactics or measures mentioned above, they will flush out the perceived issues from the real ones. A custodial parent who insists that the noncustodial parent is incapable of taking care of their child for more than a few hours may realize that that’s not a real concern. The court will examine resolution tactics outside of a trial, like mediation. If the court decides on an alternative dispute resolution, it will set dates for the parties to adhere to.

A Discovery plan might also be discussed at a status conference. This usually entails setting rules & restrictions on Discovery as well as a timeline for the exchange of Discovery.

The last major thing to be addressed in a status conference is overall scheduling. In addition to setting dates for mediation and Discovery, the court will also set a deadline for any motions or amendments to petitions. In addition, the court might establish a pretrial conference date and a trial date.

The process for the status conference might differ when both parties and one party is self-represented. The court will try to encourage pro se litigants to get an attorney at this stage of the case with the thinking that they’d be more inclined to settle.

Using this Family Court Status Conference Strategically

This is the time to use what you have gathered outside of the courtroom, because of the court’s directions, to your advantage. In other words, the orders the court issued, the procedures the judge directed, etc. all offer you vantage points that didn’t exist before. You might have had suspicions about some issues that question the other party’s “fitness” as a parent. Or questions about the safety conditions of the other party’s home. Or speculation about the mental or physical health of the other parent. Either way, the status conference is the ideal time to gauge the court’s position on these specific issues. If, for instance, you mentioned your concern about drug abuse and the judge ordered drug screenings, then this shows that the judge takes this issue seriously. How many times have you raised concerns in court that were dismissed by the judge, often I bet? But if the judge thinks the issue, you raise has some semblance of merit, they will respond accordingly.

The other strategic way to use the Status Conference is by incorporating the information you acquired to help you decide if you should settle or proceed to trial. At this stage of your case, there have been several discussions about settling at least a portion of your case. However, having the results of tests or investigations only helps you to make a much more informed decision when it comes to negotiations.

And last, if you are pro se (self-represented) you can learn a lot about the court process, the laws, and the local procedures at the status conference. You should always be on full alert, listening, watching, and taking mental notes.

In Conclusion

Every stage of your case offers some advantage as it progresses along. You might see going to court as a war zone, triggering all sorts of emotion, while I see it as an opportunity. Any time you are in an environment where you can learn the opposing party’s objective, you should see it as a potential advantage.

My new Pro Se Family Court Membership Program is the perfect solution to your custody or divorce situation.  Having a solid game plan that focuses on using strategy can make or break your case.  Interested in the details? Check here.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Use Your Family Court Appearances as Part of Your Strategy, Part One: The Initial Conference

Once a divorce or custody case starts in Family Court there is usually a process in court. Unless the parties agree and filing the papers is just a formality, every case is set to proceed down the same path. The objective of that path is to facilitate the process by identifying issues, resolving issues, and getting a final determination. Each stage of the case has a specific goal and serves an exact purpose. To litigants, this process can seem confusing, unnecessary, and at times, prejudicial. But the process can be used to your advantage as a litigant if you would keep several things in mind. Strategy entails gathering information whenever and however you can, the court appearances are ideal in that sense.

The Initial Appearance

The Initial Conference itself is usually a brief meeting. Although all parties are required to appear, the way you appear is up to the court (via phone, video, or in-person.)

A final determination of anything asked for in the petition or motion is unlikely unless the parties agree to it. However, there are instances where temporary orders are issued depending on the parties’ requests, the immediate need, etc.

The Initial Conference is your first opportunity to gauge what the “real” issues of the case are. When crafting your strategic game plan, one of the principal elements is that you gain an understanding of where the opposing party stands. What this means, is that you need to know what their strengths and weaknesses are. You might think you know what they are, but you will get confirmation at the initial conference. The judge will want to know what the issues are and will more than likely, give some hints as to which issues are “real” issues.

In addition, the Initial Conference is your chance to familiarize yourself with the court process, the key players, and the judge’s demeanor. These are all key elements to focus on when creating your game plan too. Your case is not just about the parties, the law, and/or the lawyers. There is an entire process that and that entire process has a significant impact on the outcome of your case.

And last, you are giving the court to make its impression of you. You get to determine that. So many people are intimidated by the court process when you get to dictate how it goes. You must learn to be calm, focused, and prepared as you only get one chance to make a first impression.

How to Prepare for the Initial Conference

Preparing for the Initial Conference efficiently is important. However, being intentional in how you prepare is critical to the strategy for your case. In other words, plot every step or tactic you intend to use at the actual conference. Review the opposing party’s petition or motion to look for key things to focus on. You want to focus on these specific things to watch for credibility in statements, to check for consistency throughout the process, and to make notes for Discovery requests.

Next, you want to do as much research as you can before the actual conference. Research the laws, the procedural rules, the attorneys, and the judge. You might not find exactly what you expect, but you should look to see what’s out there.

And last, you should have a set of questions in your mind. You might get a chance to ask specific questions and that’s fine. But you should pay attention because although your questions might be unasked, you might still get answers to them.

After the Initial Conference

Once the conference is over, you should have a much clearer picture of what you need to do next. You should feel confident, determined, and empowered, not defeated. Remember, this is your opportunity to determine the direction you want your case to go in. Not let the antics of the opposing party distract or discourage you.

You should be able to fill in some key parts of your game plan.

In Conclusion

Too many litigants overlook the opportunities to take control of their case presented in the Initial Conference. They allow their emotions to take over and lose sight as a result. Every interaction, encounter, etc. is an opportunity to gain leverage. Take advantage of it.

 

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

 
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When Your Attorney Withdraws from Your Custody Case

I am always approached by individuals who are forced to be pro se because their attorney withdrew from the custody case. Attorneys usually withdraw for failure to pay, but also withdraw for other reasons that have nothing to do with money. A client that makes it impossible to represent them, who constantly refuses to cooperate, who habitually ignores court orders, etc. are all reasons attorneys can withdraw. No matter the reason, there are some things pro se litigants should keep in mind when they find themselves in this predicament.

Ethical Rules for Attorney Withdrawal

Most states have adopted some form of the American Bar Association’s Model Rules for the ethical practice of law. This means that every one of the fifty (50) states has its own set of rules that dictate how an attorney should behave professionally. One issue that is covered in all the states’ rules is the method attorneys must employ when they want to withdraw from representation. The ABA Model Rule (1.16(b)) states:

“a lawyer can withdraw from an engagement without cause only if it will not result in a material adverse effect on the client’s interest.”

This means that the lawyer must show “cause” for their withdrawal. In other words, they must have a “compelling reason” to be let out of your custody case.

Although states might differ on the language they use, there is a consensus on what constitutes a “compelling reason.”  It is NOT simply disagreeing on some issues in your custody case, although there are times when this is sufficient grounds. Compelling reasons are usually ones where the client is continuously involved or engaged in criminal activity. Other instances are where they fail to pay their fees or where a conflict of interest is present. These are just a few, the list of instances where withdrawal would be justified is long.

Mandatory withdrawal vs. Permissive Withdrawal

There is a difference between when an attorney can withdraw and when they must withdraw.

The instances where an attorney must withdraw are not as extensive as when they can. That is because the litigant’s right to have continued representation is paramount to an attorney’s desire to leave the case whenever they want.

Circumstances, when an attorney can withdraw, outnumber when they must because of the interests of the client. Lawyers are held to a standard that requires them to consider the legal harm in almost any situation.

Do not be fooled though, attorneys are very skilled at creating a scenario where must takes precedence, or a justified can more likely prevail.

Method for Withdrawing

In all cases, attorneys must follow a specific procedure when they seek to withdraw. No matter what, when, or why, there are procedural requirements in place for attorneys who opt to end their representation.

Most states have a formal requirement where the attorney must file a motion in court seeking the court’s permission. The specifics, however, with respect to the format, timing, in person or in writing argument may vary among the states.

Litigants have the option to object or oppose the attorney’s withdrawal, except where the client is the one requesting the withdrawal. If they can prove that there is undue prejudice or harm to their case that will result from the withdrawal, then they have a chance.

In Family Court, the standard of proof is “preponderance of evidence” which means that a party must provide evidence of at least a 50% value to support its argument. But when it comes to an attorney seeking withdrawal, this standard is automatically shifted to less than 50%.

Client’s Course of Action Upon Withdrawal

What are your options if this is your current predicament? Should you object, or should you consent, or something else? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. But more importantly, should you or could you do anything to prevent this from happening in the first place.

Your options are to let the attorney go; try to compromise or settle your issues or flat out dispute they’re trying to withdraw. If you let them go then you are forced to either hire another lawyer or represent yourself. When you do this, you are more likely to have fewer headaches dealing with the court. The court would much rather you concede than have you fight to keep an attorney that does not believe they can or should continue. If, however, you choose to try to settle your differences, the attorney will have the discretion to choose if they will continue and to set the conditions for doing so. And last, if you choose to fight the withdrawal, chances are you are going to create more problems for yourself, with the lawyer and the court.

Tips to Avoid Attorney Withdrawals

You can try your hardest to prevent the attorney’s withdrawal, which is always an option. This starts with having a clear understanding of your financial means before hiring them. You should not rush to hire an attorney when you have no reliable means to pay them to manage the entire case. I see people get desperate and hire a lawyer just because they think they should. This is a setup for disastrous consequences.

Another way to avoid involuntary withdrawal is to have an express understanding of what your responsibilities are as a client. From the moment you sign the Retainer Agreement, you should be aware of all that is expected from you. At the same time, your attorney should explain to you in detail everything you can expect from them.  You can also learn tips to work with them more effectively.

And last, you should always keep the lines of communication open. I know that most litigants’ major complaint about their attorney is their lack of communication. However, this does not release you of the obligation to facilitate discussions about your concerns, your questions, etc. with them.

Although being pro se is not the worst situation you can find yourself in, it is not the only option or best option for everyone. (Read more here on being pro se in Family Court.)

In Conclusion

At the end of the day, an attorney who does not want to collaborate with you anymore knows how to get out of your case. Even with the rules set to favor you as the client, the courts are not inclined to force continued representation.

 

 

Want to work with Tracey Bee on your pro se divorce or custody case?

Feel free to explore our options to help you get the results you want in your Family Court case here. 

 

If you want to listen to discussions on Family Court and strategy, catch the latest episodes of “Self-Representing in Family Court” here. 

Related Tag: Unmarried Mother Custody

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Family Court Practical Tips for Success

Family Court is an experience. Once you find yourself in enthralled in the experience it is imperative that you prepare yourself.  There are often more questions than answers and this causes even more tension.  The way you speak, the attitude you present, the thoughts you share – these all play an integral part in how your case is received and how it is viewed from the court’s perspective.  So I wanted to take time to share some things with you based on the various roles I played in the family law arena. So learn these family court practical tips here:

Family Court Practical Tips

Communicating Effectively:

There’s a strategy to effective communication with anyone in Family Court, your ex or soon to be ex, lawyers, judges etc. The first thing, that I notice most people fail at, is LISTENING with objectivity. Way too often we focus on the lies, the put downs, etc. so we formulate a response while the other person is talking. This has been proven to be ineffective in custody and divorce cases. It’s not easy, especially when dealing with a manipulative, controlling opponent but it’s something you MUST learn to master if you want to prevail. Family law is the most volatile area of law, so it brings out a variety of emotions.  But not being able to put emotions in check can ruin any intentions of reaching your goals.  So let the lies be told, let the accusations flow and when it’s your turn you address them with a focused mindset.

One thing I do consistently to master this is anticipating the worse and practice my reaction.  I do this as often as I need to until my body gives me the sign that it’s “OK”.  It works!

Etiquette in the Courtroom:

Way too often Family Court litigants complain that the judge does not or did not listen to any of their major concerns when it came to their divorce or custody case. Although family court judges get the worst wrap in the judicial system, they are human. They can empathize with you if you learn to speak their “language”.  There is a decorum and protocol that should be used when dealing with the court.

Here are some key tips:

  1. Always address them with respect using “Your Honor”, “Your Magistrate”, etc.
  2. Don’t ever let your emotions cloud your judgment. (This is not the same as not showing emotions. Showing emotions can be a good thing at times.)
  3. Be persistent with the issue you are trying to get their attention on. This does not mean to ignore what the court is asking or emphasizing. It means being adamant about stating your concerns within the parameters established.
  4. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS show the court that you are willing to work on a resolution. Now is not the time to be insistent on things going your way. If your ex or soon to be ex is the one being difficult, let them be the one to show that to the court. You don’t have to be the one to say that they are not cooperating.
  5. If you see the judge leaning in a particular direction with a decision that is not in your favor, offer a compromise that addresses exactly what he/she is concerned about. For example, if the court has an issue with the fact that the other parent/party is not getting enough time without having overnight, then offer an extra day, more hours, video chats, etc. Do NOT disregard the court’s concerns by making excuses for not going along.

Presenting Your Case:

It’s prudent to give a lot of attention to HOW you present your case in Family Court because things can backfire on you in an instant.  (Read more here on what choosing your language carefully.) It is no secret that I focus primarily on strategy in my work to show Family Court Practical Tips to my clients.  So, a large part of how I help clients has to do with “packaging” their case in a way that is going to increase their chances of getting the best outcomes.

So, your concerns, your interests, your objectives all need to be carefully prepared.  Preparation, organization, formulation all plays an extremely role in how the case proceeds from beginning to resolution.

Take the time to carefully, I mean carefully map out how you will present your case.  It takes knowledge, guidance, and persistence to be able to do this correctly.  Come up with a strategy and stick to it.  Be sure to include how you will carry out every step of the strategy.  You can’t anticipate EVERYTHING, but you can keep an open mind and be ready to react when necessary if your strategic plan is rock solid.

In Conclusion

There are tons of tips I can give that will help you get better outcomes in your case. I can focus on explaining the law but that’s not going to help you as much as giving tips on strategy.

If you would like a FREE 15 min consultation to discuss strategy in your divorce or custody case, click Here.

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Stay-at-Home Parents and Divorce

A lot of people think stay-at-home moms are a thing of the past.  There are certainly tons of people who have no idea that dads stay at home too.  The decision to stay at home can be based on a variety of reasons but the main one is financial between the parents and divorce. The costs of daycare have skyrocketed in the past decade, making it more logical for one parent to stay home than pay. There are a lot of things that should be taken into consideration when the family makes this decision.

 

The Impact of Divorce On Stay at Home Parents

There are several things that come up in divorces, but particularly in one where one party was the stay at home or homemaker. Finances is a major issue in households with one wage earner when it comes to divorce.   Alimony or spousal support, child support and property division are all common topics that require attention when a divorce action is started.  The stay-at-home party usually needs some financial support to continue while the wage earner usually disagrees.

  1. Alimony or Spousal Support

Most states have a law that allows litigants to sue the other for financial support.  Each state differs in what it considers but some factors are pretty much across state lines.  For example, the duration of the marriage, the employability or work history of the parties, the financial resources, just to name a few.  Most states limit alimony to a set number of years based on the duration of the marriage, the age & health of the parties and the number of years it would take for the non-wage earner to become gainfully employed.  Some states, particularly community property states, do not have any laws for alimony.  Community property states that ALL property acquired during the marriage is subject to equal distribution.

Property Division in Divorce

The stay-at-home parent who was never employed or has no employable skills, due to being out of the workforce, has an advantage. The “employability” of that party is a major factor to consider in how long alimony should go on for.  As does their financial resources, the time it takes for them to find a job and the standard of living they enjoyed during the marriage.  These are all the factors specifically relevant to stay at home partners or homemakers.

  1. Property Distribution or Division

Property is subject to be divided in the divorce when it was acquired during the marriage. Property division laws follow one of two principles.  Some states have “equitable distribution”, while others are “community property” states.    Equitable distribution laws look at what is “fair” to the parties based on a few factors.   Those factors can include the contribution each party made to the acquisition of the property, the length of the marriage, an award of alimony (it is amount and duration) and the loss of health insurance benefits because of the divorce.  In community property states, however, the marital property is divided equally no matter what if it is considered marital (as opposed to being classified as separate property.)

  1. Child Support

Child Support is determined by the state’s guidelines (statute) and is therefore usually straightforward with respect to calculations.  The problems come up when the wage earner is self-employed, works “off the books”, gets high commissions and bonuses or something similar where income is difficult to determine.  So, with respect to stay at home party in the divorce, the only issue that is highly relevant is if the guidelines allow for deviation from the calculations.   Deviating from the state’s guidelines usually requires that certain elements be present in your case.  For example, in New York the courts are allowed to deviate from the Child Support Standards Act (“CSSA”) if the combined income of the parties is $154,000 or more.

So, if the wage earner in your case makes a reported income of at least $154,000, the court can look at each parent’s finances; educational needs of the parents; the income differences between the parents; the lifestyle if the family had remained intact-these factors are relevant in stay-at-home situations.   Although each state has their own guidelines, they may have similar provisions for considering the stay-at-home parent’s circumstances.

  1. Child Custody

When it comes to child custody, it is conceivable that the stay-at-home parent would be in the better position to gain custody of the children.   However, the best interests’ factors help the court determine who should have custody, physical and legal.  (Read here for the best interests’ standards.) The parent that stayed at home with the children is not automatically the more “fit” parent or the one that will be more likely to fulfill the children’s mental, emotional, physical, and intellectual needs. Parents who work outside of the home can be considered as “fit” or as suitable to provide a safe, loving, and nurturing environment as the homemaker parent.

Best Interests of the Child Custody Each State 

Only some states have specific best interests’ factors, while others have more like guiding principles. The states that have set out factors have implicitly left out the financial resources of each parent as a top of the list consideration.  However, some states have factors that have a more direct impact on the circumstances of stay-at-home parents.  Factors like, the need for continuation of a stable home, adjustments to school and community and parenting ability to provide a safe, nurturing environment.  These factors can have a negative or positive influence on custody since the financial means of the stay-at-home parent will be disrupted.   Maintaining a connection within the community the children are most familiar, staying in the home they are most familiar with, and parenting ability are all indirectly (or directly).  Stay at home parents must make huge adjustments, mainly because of finances, that will cause some inevitable disruptions for them and their children.

 

In conclusion

Deciding if either parent should stay home to raise the children and be a homemaker is a decision that requires the undesirable thought of its implication on divorce.  Although it might suit the family’s circumstances at the time, it can definitely create issues later on.

 

If you wish to discuss our services and how they can help you in your family law matter, please feel free to schedule a FREE 15min consultation.

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