The Diavorce Solutionist

How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court

How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court beat other party in family court

Today, we’re diving into an all too important and often complicated topic: navigating the twists and turns of family court to beat your opponent. Whether you’re representing yourself or you’ve got an attorney by your side, using the right tactics to execute a keen strategy is non-negotiable if you want to get custody of your child(ren). So, let’s strategize together on preparing to win custody.

Coming Up with a Gameplan in Family Court

Strategy is the foundation of any custody or divorce case in Family Court. It’s not the law or procedure that gets people what they want, or even close to what they’re seeking, it’s strategy. Having a well-thought-out gameplan serves so many purposes, especially in a place like family court where anything goes. You can have a gameplan but if you don’t have the specific tasks to achieve your goals then you’re wasting your time. Being ready for the unexpected, having a backup plan for the letdowns, and staying on course when things get tough are all good reasons to have one. 

Using the Right Tactics to Execute Strategy

First off, let me share with you the first step in coming up with tactics that will execute your solid gameplan for your family court case: take the time to journal your current situation. Be honest and open with yourself about every aspect of your current circumstances concerning your finances, your living situation, your health, etc. Jot down everything real and happening right now. Why? Because family courts are dynamic and what’s true today may not hold tomorrow but you need to be prepared for it all. 

Next in your gameplan execution is: Understanding everything about your opponent including their motives and circumstances. It’s not just what you know about the other party from when you were together, it’s also identifying the key components of the other party’s case theory. You need to know their “real” motives, their case strengths and weaknesses as well as their current situation. Knowledge is power here, folks. 

Once you’ve done that, or while you’re doing that, it’s time to conduct research and investigation to see what’s out there.  Research can help you make the best argument, make informed decisions, and position your custody or divorce case for the outcome you intend on getting. The information will help you get into the nooks and crannies of every step of the family court process, this helps increase your chances of success tenfold. You will need to find applicable court rules & laws, the background information on the key players (like the judges and lawyers), and any resources that might be available for family court litigants. Investigating is necessary to help back up everything you know about the key players as well as to find out what you don’t know about them.

Then after you’ve done your research and investigation you need to brainstorm, take everything you’ve learned and discovered, and figure out what to do with it. Do you use it now, hold it for the right time or not use it at all -these are all that you need to ponder. The key is to make use of it all the best way possible. Some things might not matter right now but might be critical later, and vice versa.

After all of this, it’s time to plot. Plotting takes planning and preparing to a whole other level. It’s not merely deciding what your next move should be. Plotting is basing your next move on what the other party’s next move will be. This is called “preemptive” moves, which are different from preventive ones. It’s not just anticipating their moves, it’s deciding what your next move should be based on what you anticipate they will do. You’re getting in front of anything they can possibly claim or defend.

I cannot stress enough the importance of strategy. Think of it this way: law might dictate 20% of your case, but your tactics can sway the remaining 80%. And remember, family court can sometimes be biased and often dismissive of what we consider ‘rights.’ Brace yourself for these challenges, and factor them into your game plan.

In building a strategy, assess your strengths, weaknesses, threats, and the favorable factors at play. This isn’t simply about having resources but about thinking critically. It’s plotting—meticulous and calculated planning.

Tips to Employ Tactics

You can have a clear vision of what you want but be confused about how to get there. This happens more than you think. It’s paying attention to the details that are extremely critical to successfully executing any gameplan. These are some key things to keep in mind:

  1. Being organized can’t be optional. Create a prioritized plan, and then make a backup—because, let’s face it, life loves throwing curveballs, especially in family court. Consider the ‘best interest of the child’ factors critically, and always maximize your time and arguments in court.
  2. Skills and confidence could mean the edge you need, and these don’t always come from your attorney. They come from you, developing them rigorously.
  3. When presenting your case, think outside the box. Be creative, and resourceful, and always question with specific intent. Don’t ask something when you can answer it yourself. Pay attention to the details; that’s where the devil (and sometimes the angel) lies.
  4. Flexibility is key—I can’t emphasize that enough. Speak with goals in mind and be discreet about your intentions. In court, making the other person comfortable can be your stealth weapon; they listen better, understand better, and are more inclined to trust and believe you.
  5. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, don’t give too much away. Be mindful of the judge’s reactions, ask questions strategically, and always keep the oversharing in check.

In conclusion

Don’t destroy a perfectly good case by going to family court blind. You need to stop, plan/organize, and then take action…the “right” action though not just any action.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.