The Diavorce Solutionist

Making Strategic Decisions Based on the Phase of Your Family Court Case

There’s little disagreement amongst Family Court litigants that the Family Court cycle can seem neverending. If you ask most people going through the process, they will tell you that things seem to all morph into one big catastrophe. However, this is not completely accurate. The typical divorce or custody case goes through stages or phases while it moves through Family Court.  Identifying each of these stages can be challenging, especially if you’re the one enduring the torment that’s usually associated with it. 

But not only are there different phases of a typical divorce or custody case, the issues also vary based on the phase they’re in.  The parties’ issues might remain steady, but there are different parts of the court process that require a different type of attention at each stage. This means that as a litigant, you need to strategize differently based on the stage your case is in. 

We have identified each phase by referring to them as “lanes”.  There are four lanes on the superhighway to Family Court hell. They all lead to the same place but the bumps (challenges), the route (action), and the directions (decisions) all vary based on the specific lane(s) your case is in.  Although your case can be in two lanes at once, it is advisable to limit them to two.

Explanation of the Various Phases (Lanes)

Every Family Court starts with a choice or decision (Lane 1) stemming from an action or series of actions by either party. Once either, or both, parties choose to go the Family Court route, their freedom to choose much of what happens throughout the process gets limited. The court will take over and implement rules and guidelines on how the case will proceed (Lane 2). Then at some point, the court will seem to be apathetic while still dictating how things proceed, leaving many to question why they decided to get court involved in the first place (Lane 3). And last, your case will make it to the “finish” line (Lane 4), if there is every truly a finish line, you get to “reclaim” some of the control by opting to take your case to trial. 

Lane One: Decision Time, the Beginning of Your Family Court Experience

As mentioned, Lane 1 is the beginning. Either party is gearing up;  gathering info and resources and putting things together with the intention of getting help with their divorce or custody. At this stage, things like timing, logistics, resources and personal circumstances are are crucial. Knowing when to file your case, jurisdiction considerations, and wording your petitions are all pivotal. Understanding court processes, connecting with resources, and identifying helpful information early can give you a significant advantage as you lay the groundwork for your case.

Lane Two: Filing and Interaction, Getting the Ball Rolling in Family Court

Lane 2, considerations are a bit different in the sense that once the case has started, some foundational things will remain intact no matter what. The court process is already set so deviating from some parts of it are more difficult to do at this stage. Things like identifying the problems or issues, the “real” ones, are extremely key at this stage. In addition, understanding what leverage is and identifying your leverage as well as the other party’s is also very important.  This is also the phase where you begin to focus on creating a solid game plan, like making strategic choices about when to interact and engage with the opposing party, the court, and the mediators.

Lane Three: Positioning for the Future, In the Thick of Things in Your Divorce or Custody

If your case made it past the six-month mark, it didn’t settle, or wasn’t resolved in mediation, then chances are you’re headed to Lane 3. By this time, you should have amassed a wealth of resources and built a deep understanding of your case. No more walking around with your head in the clouds, you’re starting to see Family Court for what it really is. You see that judges can be completely biased, the laws are not always applied correctly, that lawyers get away with acting unethically and you’re exasperated by the ugly truth. This time is pivotal, because since it wasn’t settled before now, chances are your case is going to trial. That means that frustration is at an all-time high followed by immense fear.  No one wants to hear the big “t” word because thoughts of excessive fees, feelings of uncertainty, and visions of seeing your child(ren) living with the other parent are involved with trial. But this is the time to shift your focus to prepping for the opportunity to finally present all of the improprieties that occurred in your case, in one setting.  

Lane Four: Gearing Up for Your Family Court Trial or Appeal

And at last, if you’re in Lane 4 you made it to the “finish” line. This is the moment you have been waiting for, although you didn’t know it, the moment to finally tell your story.  You get to speak and not be ignored; you get to point out all the lies the other party has been telling that you didn’t get a chance to prove; you get to call the guardian ad litem out for their unprofessional way of handling their responsibilities and so on.  And although you are scared out of your mind, this is the time to bring it all home. Win or lose, this is the time to seek vindication and to make peace with everything that has haunted you throughout the process. Knowing your key players and leveraging the knowledge gained throughout the previous stages is crucial. You must meticulously plot out how to use the information and resources built up over time to strategically navigate the trial phase and secure a favorable outcome.

Final Thoughts

Navigating the family court system can be overwhelming, but with the right strategies, you can take control, set the tone, and position yourself for success. Remember, everything you do at each stage has an impact on your case’s future, so strategic thinking and proactive planning are essential.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court

How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court beat other party in family court

Today, we’re diving into an all too important and often complicated topic: navigating the twists and turns of family court to beat your opponent. Whether you’re representing yourself or you’ve got an attorney by your side, using the right tactics to execute a keen strategy is non-negotiable if you want to get custody of your child(ren). So, let’s strategize together on preparing to win custody.

Coming Up with a Gameplan in Family Court

Strategy is the foundation of any custody or divorce case in Family Court. It’s not the law or procedure that gets people what they want, or even close to what they’re seeking, it’s strategy. Having a well-thought-out gameplan serves so many purposes, especially in a place like family court where anything goes. You can have a gameplan but if you don’t have the specific tasks to achieve your goals then you’re wasting your time. Being ready for the unexpected, having a backup plan for the letdowns, and staying on course when things get tough are all good reasons to have one. 

Using the Right Tactics to Execute Strategy

First off, let me share with you the first step in coming up with tactics that will execute your solid gameplan for your family court case: take the time to journal your current situation. Be honest and open with yourself about every aspect of your current circumstances concerning your finances, your living situation, your health, etc. Jot down everything real and happening right now. Why? Because family courts are dynamic and what’s true today may not hold tomorrow but you need to be prepared for it all. 

Next in your gameplan execution is: Understanding everything about your opponent including their motives and circumstances. It’s not just what you know about the other party from when you were together, it’s also identifying the key components of the other party’s case theory. You need to know their “real” motives, their case strengths and weaknesses as well as their current situation. Knowledge is power here, folks. 

Once you’ve done that, or while you’re doing that, it’s time to conduct research and investigation to see what’s out there.  Research can help you make the best argument, make informed decisions, and position your custody or divorce case for the outcome you intend on getting. The information will help you get into the nooks and crannies of every step of the family court process, this helps increase your chances of success tenfold. You will need to find applicable court rules & laws, the background information on the key players (like the judges and lawyers), and any resources that might be available for family court litigants. Investigating is necessary to help back up everything you know about the key players as well as to find out what you don’t know about them.

Then after you’ve done your research and investigation you need to brainstorm, take everything you’ve learned and discovered, and figure out what to do with it. Do you use it now, hold it for the right time or not use it at all -these are all that you need to ponder. The key is to make use of it all the best way possible. Some things might not matter right now but might be critical later, and vice versa.

After all of this, it’s time to plot. Plotting takes planning and preparing to a whole other level. It’s not merely deciding what your next move should be. Plotting is basing your next move on what the other party’s next move will be. This is called “preemptive” moves, which are different from preventive ones. It’s not just anticipating their moves, it’s deciding what your next move should be based on what you anticipate they will do. You’re getting in front of anything they can possibly claim or defend.

I cannot stress enough the importance of strategy. Think of it this way: law might dictate 20% of your case, but your tactics can sway the remaining 80%. And remember, family court can sometimes be biased and often dismissive of what we consider ‘rights.’ Brace yourself for these challenges, and factor them into your game plan.

In building a strategy, assess your strengths, weaknesses, threats, and the favorable factors at play. This isn’t simply about having resources but about thinking critically. It’s plotting—meticulous and calculated planning.

Tips to Employ Tactics

You can have a clear vision of what you want but be confused about how to get there. This happens more than you think. It’s paying attention to the details that are extremely critical to successfully executing any gameplan. These are some key things to keep in mind:

  1. Being organized can’t be optional. Create a prioritized plan, and then make a backup—because, let’s face it, life loves throwing curveballs, especially in family court. Consider the ‘best interest of the child’ factors critically, and always maximize your time and arguments in court.
  2. Skills and confidence could mean the edge you need, and these don’t always come from your attorney. They come from you, developing them rigorously.
  3. When presenting your case, think outside the box. Be creative, and resourceful, and always question with specific intent. Don’t ask something when you can answer it yourself. Pay attention to the details; that’s where the devil (and sometimes the angel) lies.
  4. Flexibility is key—I can’t emphasize that enough. Speak with goals in mind and be discreet about your intentions. In court, making the other person comfortable can be your stealth weapon; they listen better, understand better, and are more inclined to trust and believe you.
  5. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, don’t give too much away. Be mindful of the judge’s reactions, ask questions strategically, and always keep the oversharing in check.

In conclusion

Don’t destroy a perfectly good case by going to family court blind. You need to stop, plan/organize, and then take action…the “right” action though not just any action.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

Tagged

Your Rights as Pro Se Litigant in Family Court

Your Rights as Pro Se Litigant in Family Court

It is a known fact that self-represented, or pro se, litigants have the hardest time in court. Especially in Family Court, judges and lawyers tend to treat pro se litigants unnecessarily unfairly, in a lot of cases anyway. Well, I don’t know if it’s that they are treated unfairly on purpose, but I do know that they don’t get the extra level of respect they get when they have lawyer representation.

Regardless though, every single person who finds themselves in a court case has rights. Whether those rights are acknowledged or even considered, depends on so many things.  Not that it’s right, but sometimes pro se litigants’ rights are often overlooked or trampled on, for various reasons.  Before I get into those reasons, I wanted to take the time to list these rights. 

Your Rights as You Represent Yourself

Here are some key rights and considerations for pro se litigants in family court:

  1. Right to Self-Representation: In most jurisdictions, you have the right to represent yourself in Family Court. Whether it’s referred to as pro se, pro per or something else the court is obligated to allow you to do this.

  2. Right to Access the Court: You have the right to access the court, regardless of status, ability, etc., and have your case heard by a judge (commissioner, ), just like any other litigant.

  3. Right to a Fair Hearing: You have the right to a fair and impartial hearing. This means that the court should not discriminate against you because you are representing yourself and should not treat the other party any differently because they are lawyer-represented.

  4. Right to Due Process: You are entitled to due process, due process refers to fair procedures. This includes the right to receive notice of hearings, the opportunity to present evidence, the right to cross-examine witnesses, and the right to make legal arguments in court.

  5. Right to Privacy: Your personal information and court records are generally protected by privacy laws. However, some information may be accessible to the opposing party or the public, depending on court rules and procedures.

  6. Right to Information including Laws and Court Procedures: While you cannot have an attorney represent you, you can seek assistance from court staff, self-help centers, or legal aid organizations that may provide guidance on court procedures and forms.

  7. Right to Object and Appeal: You have the right to object to evidence, procedures, or rulings that you believe are unfair or incorrect. If you disagree with the court’s decision, you may have the right to appeal the decision to a higher court.

  8. Right to Be Informed: You should familiarize yourself with the court’s rules and procedures, as well as the specific laws governing family court matters in your jurisdiction. Ignorance of the law is generally not an excuse nor does it serve your interests in any way.

  9. Right to Prepare and Present Evidence: You have the right to gather evidence (with the court’s help even), to subpoena witnesses (again the court can assist in this effort), and to present your case to the trier of fact. This includes the right to present witnesses, documents, photographs, and other relevant materials to help support your claim or defend against claims made against you.

  10. Right to Communication: You have the right to communicate with the court (to find out about court dates, judges assigned, etc.) and the opposing party (and their attorney) in accordance with court rules. But it is advisable to be respectful and professional in your communications.

The key thing to note though is that these rights do not extend to every single case or at every step along the way. In addition, these rights do not automatically render any specific result. If your right is outweighed by the court’s interest in safety or public interest then your rights might be trumped.

How these Rights are Ignored or Misapplied:

First off, just because you have these rights no one is obligated to exercise them for you but you. It is your responsibility to ensure that you are aware of your rights, that you bring them to the court’s attention, and that you seek to have them enforced. Even though judges and lawyers took oaths, which included acknowledging that litigants have rights, no one is going to be looking over their shoulders to ensure that they are in fact complying.

In addition, your rights are not self-sustaining once you do exercise them. In other words, stating your rights in one situation or scenario doesn’t extend to other situations. You should state your rights on every single occasion you feel necessary.

Exercising your rights doesn’t necessarily extend to any agents or fiduciaries of yours or the court. If you try to exercise your right to privacy, for example, to someone else in your family to safeguard your interests, it might not work.

The judges tend to do what benefits their own agendas, oftentimes at your expense. So that means, if they are more concerned with the court’s time they might tell you that your court appearance will not be recorded by a court reporter or recorder. This happens quite frequently actually. This is a trample on your rights though, no matter how they try to justify it.

What to Do When Your Rights are Violated

Ensuring that your rights are acknowledged can get really tricky when your major concern in Family Court is getting parenting time with your child(ren). The court typically throws things off course by acting in a way that disregards the rights you have. The thing is, raising your concerns about the infringements, can lead to disastrous consequences. If you file complaints and/or seek redress for rights violation grievances while your custody or divorce case is pending, speaking out against the court’s unjust treatments can delay or even deny you custody or visitation. The courts often take offense of any allegations of improprieties on their part.

Other more viable options, although few, are available. First, you can file motions that focus on the substantive aspects of your case. In other words, you can explore requests for relief that ask the court to re-examine its application of the law or procedure. Next, you can try to get a venue change if you can show that another court has jurisdiction. Or you can delay the case to coincide with the court cycle of judges. In other words, you can purposefully stall the case moving forward if you know how and when the sitting judge cycles out. Lastly, you can wait until your case is over and then appeal and/or file your grievances.

In Conclusion Family Court has the most discretion when it comes to how they operate. This includes how they implement measures to ensure fairness, just outcomes, and acting within the parameters of the Constitution (both federal and state). No matter which method you choose, seeking to enforce your rights should be done strategically. As with anything else, as a pro se litigant, you should take care to make your moves based on the outcome you have in sight.


If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

Using Public Agencies Resources in Your Custody Battle

Agencies’ Resources in Family Court

Using Public Agencies’ Resources in Family Court

You absolutely need to use everything in your arsenal, or that’s at least available to you, if you have any chance of winning your custody or divorce case on your own. When I say on your own, I don’t mean literally. I mean if you are representing yourself, are pro se, then it is ever more important that you take advantage of all of the resources out there. Being pro se in Family Court is already very challenging, and can be more disastrous for your case, so you need to do what you can to minimize the obstacles from every direction.
Family Court is Smorgasbord

Look, let’s face it, Family Court is not your typical court. Not at, unlike most other courts, the Family Court encompasses the most sensitive topics regarding family, relationships, and parenting.  Some would go so far as to describe it as a confluence of a mental health facility, a social services agency, and a place for justice. And whether you agree or not, the reality is that Family Court is rarely ever solely about what’s being discussed in court. At the same time, since there’s always more going on than the obvious, there are typically several other resources or entities that can step in to diffuse most situations.

Being Preemptive in Family Court

Domestic violence (IPV), substance abuse, child abuse/neglect, mental health issues, and developmental issues are all prevalent in most, if not all, Family Court divorce or custody cases. Getting these issues addressed by the right authority can oftentimes minimize their impact on the court experience. It is best to not only take preventative measures whenever possible, but there at times when it’s best to take preemptive ones instead. This means preparing for the attack before the actual attack occurs. So, for instance, if you know that the other party or opposing counsel will raise issues of allegations of abuse, you would find out every procedure, program, etc. that would address the abuse. How you would use the insight will depend on the nature of the allegations, the extent to which they will play a role in your case and the possible outcomes.

Tips for Utilizing Agencies in your Divorce or Custody Case

When navigating a custody case, social service and public agencies can provide valuable support and resources. Here’s how you can effectively utilize them:

  1. Research relevant and applicable agencies: Almost any of the issues that are prevalent in Family Court have a corresponding agency that acts as a gatekeeper, monitor, or rehabilitative resource. Start by identifying the agencies that deal with these. Familiarize yourself with their roles, responsibilities, and services offered.
  1. Understand their processes: Learn about the specific processes and procedures followed by each agency. Always start by going to their website, where information about their structure, mission, procedure, etc. can be found. Then see if they hold public meetings, have information sessions, etc. so that you can establish contact with a person on staff.
  1. Make direct contact: It’s always ideal to have direct contact, via phone or email, where you can ask a staff person specific questions that can help you in your case or defend yourself in the case. You don’t need to divulge any sensitive information. In fact, it is advisable to be very careful that you don’t share particular issues of danger to mandated reporters, where you can be implicated unless you are prepared to present your defense. Consult with a family law attorney to understand the best approach for involving public agencies in your particular custody case. They can guide you through the legal aspects and help you navigate the specific requirements and protocols.
  1. Use the information in your case in court or as part of negotiations: Once you know how the agency works, what the criteria are, what they offer, etc. you can use it in your case no matter what position you’re in with respect to it. That means you can use it to work on your case’s weaknesses, use it to request appropriate services for the other party, or use it to get the help you need for your child(ren).
  1. Collaborate with professionals: Public agencies often work closely with professionals such as social workers, counselors, evaluators, GALs and lawyers. Be cooperative and open to their involvement, as their assessments and recommendations can influence the outcome of your case. Provide them with any relevant information or evidence that can support your position.
  1. Take advantage of any rehabilitative programs offered: Lots of these agencies have preventive classes, workshops, etc. offered for free or reduced costs. Things like parent education, sobriety programs, etc. are usually topics covered.
  1. Maintain documentation: Keep detailed records of all interactions, communications, and documents exchanged with the public agencies involved in your case. These records can serve as valuable evidence and help ensure that your concerns and actions are accurately documented.
  1. Follow up and stay informed: Stay engaged in the process by regularly communicating with the agency and using what you’ve learned or worked on to your benefit.
In Conclusion

Remember, every jurisdiction might have different processes and guidelines regarding the involvement of social services and public agencies in divorce or custody cases. Not to mention, judges are not too fond of litigants abusing or misappropriating these agencies’ resources. However, they can certainly defer to any recommendations, commendations, etc. made by these agencies and rely on them to help make sound rulings.


If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

Tagged

How to Get “Wins” as Self-Represented Against an Attorney

Self Representation in Family Court is becoming more and more widespread. Statistics indicate that Family Court has the highest level of self-represented litigants of all court systems, right after housing court. Of course, these high numbers are the result of low-income families finding themselves in these unfavorable predicaments. However, there are more middle-income earners who are opting for representing themselves in Family Courts for a variety of reasons.

The legal fees, the unpredictable outcomes, and e major disappointments are just a few reasons pro se litigants choose to go it alone. Particularly for the litigants that started out with an attorney or who were in court previously and understand the process more, going to court self-represented is a no-brainer.

Understanding the Family Court System

No matter which side of the table you sit on, it is an absolute must to start by familiarizing yourself with the “real” Family Court system, not the one you made up in your head. The real Family Court system does not focus on fairness or concerns itself with what you think is best for your child, or works with you to minimize conflict.  No, they won’t do any of these.

You might hear the judge, the lawyers, the GAL, and maybe even other litigants tell you these, but I wouldn’t rely on any of this.  The Family Court is one that is premised on doing what best serves its own agenda, that is whatever it takes to meet its bureaucratic goals.

What does this mean for you? It means that the sooner you learn to “think” like the court and “see” things from the court’s point of view, the greater your chances of getting the outcome you want. So yes, the law matters but that is only a portion of what impacts the overall outcome of your case. And you don’t have to have gone to law school to conquer the complexities of Family Court.

What Advantages the Family Court Attorney Has Over a Pro Se Opponent

Let’s be honest, I mean brutally honest, you will never be able to learn everything there is to know about the law from watching videos, taking courses or reading books. I mean lawyers don’t even know everything about the law and they study it daily. Lawyers are usually great critical thinkers, good at problem-solving, and excel at being strategic.

They are able to sharpen their skills every single time they go to court and practice thinking on cue. Not to mention, they know how to find, not just the law or the rules, but the exceptions to these and how to apply them. They’re able to argue persuasively too, which also puts them at an advantage. In other words, lawyers have a huge head start, advancing way ahead of you as the pro se litigant.

However, lawyers are not gods, they have flaws, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities just like you. This means, that they can be “beat”, even by a self-represented litigant. Yes, their research skills are superb, yes, they can come up with the most persuasive arguments on the fly, and yes they can finagle the court’s rules to their advantage, but so what. So can you! 

Level the Playing Field Against an Attorney

Developing a solid strategy is the most crucial part of representing yourself, especially when you’re up against an attorney. I hate to repeat myself, but you will never get the equivalent of a law school education without going to law school. But you can certainly give your opposing counsel a run for their money. But it will take work, self-determination, and discipline with a large dose of confidence to have even the slightest chance.

You would have to prepare yourself by putting all the pieces together AFTER you find all the pieces. That’s right, research, research, and more research will help you out a lot. The lawyer will try to take advantage of your lack of knowledge, of your lack of confidence, and of your lack of resilience and so it’s your job to stop them.  If can you learn to anticipate their next move and be ready to act on it, that would also shoot up your chances at the “win”.

Master the Art of Persuasive Presentation

Presenting your case persuasively is vital when self-representing. Pay attention to your communication skills, both written and verbal. Ensure your written submissions, such as pleadings and affidavits, are well-organized, articulate, and concise. Craft compelling arguments that highlight your key points effectively. Practice your oral presentations, including courtroom etiquette, tone of voice, and body language. Effective presentation will help you make a strong impression on the judge and increase the chances of a favorable outcome.

Utilize Courtroom Procedures and Etiquette

Familiarize yourself with courtroom procedures and etiquette to ensure a smooth and professional experience. Dress appropriately, demonstrate respect for the court, and address the judge as “Your Honor.” Learn how to navigate objections, cross-examinations, and courtroom protocols. Follow the rules of evidence and ensure any evidence you present is admissible. Being well-versed in courtroom procedures will help you maintain credibility and navigate the process confidently.

Seek Guidance and Support

Even though you’re representing yourself, it doesn’t mean you have to navigate the journey alone. Seek guidance and support from legal resources, self-help centers, or organizations that offer assistance to self-represented individuals. They can provide valuable information, templates, and guidance specific to your jurisdiction. Additionally, consider joining support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who have gone through similar experiences. Sharing insights and learning from others can boost your confidence and provide emotional support during this challenging process.

Here are some key pointers to keep in mind:

  1. Be Prepared for Challenges

Self-representation can come with its fair share of challenges, including complex legal issues, emotional stress, and unexpected obstacles. Be prepared for setbacks and setbacks and remain resilient. Adapt your strategies when necessary, and don’t be afraid to seek professional advice or consider limited-scope legal representation for specific aspects of your case. Remember, self-representation is a learning process, and each experience will contribute to your growth and knowledge.

 With the right tools, strategies, and mindset, self-representation can be a viable option in the Family Court system. Understanding the system, thorough preparation, strategic planning, persuasive presentation, familiarity with courtroom procedures, seeking guidance and support, and being prepared for challenges are essential elements to make self-representation work. By leveraging these insights and applying them to your case, you can position yourself for success and work towards achieving a favorable outcome in your divorce or custody proceedings.

Throughout the process of self-representation, it’s crucial to maintain professionalism and emotional control. Family Court cases can be emotionally charged, but it’s essential to separate your emotions from the legal proceedings. Stay focused on the facts, legal arguments, and the best interests of any children involved. Avoid personal attacks or confrontations with the other party and their attorney. Present yourself as a composed, respectful, and credible individual, as this will enhance your credibility in the eyes of the judge.

While self-representation can be empowering, it’s essential to know your limits. Some complex legal issues may require specialized knowledge or expertise. If you encounter challenging legal matters or reach a point where you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking limited-scope representation. Limited-scope representation involves hiring an attorney to handle specific aspects of your case, such as drafting legal documents or providing guidance on complex legal issues. This approach allows you to benefit from professional assistance while still maintaining control over the overall direction of your case.

The Family Court system is ever-evolving, and laws and procedures may change over time. As a self-represented individual, it’s important to stay informed and continuously update your knowledge. Keep up with legal updates, court rulings, and changes in your jurisdiction’s Family Court practices. Attend relevant workshops, seminars, or webinars to enhance your understanding of the legal system and improve your self-representation skills. By staying informed and adapting your strategies as needed, you can effectively navigate the complexities of the Family Court system.

Effective communication is vital throughout your self-representation journey. Keep all lines of communication with the court, the other party, and any involved professionals clear and open. Respond promptly to correspondence, attend scheduled hearings or meetings, and be respectful in all interactions. Clear communication demonstrates your professionalism and commitment to the process, fostering a more productive environment for resolving your case.

Organizational skills are crucial when representing yourself. Create a system to keep track of all important documents, deadlines, and appointments related to your case. Maintain a well-organized file with labeled sections for different types of documents. Set reminders for upcoming deadlines and ensure that you meet them. Proactively staying on top of paperwork and deadlines will help you present your case more effectively and avoid unnecessary complications.

While you may have specific goals in mind for your case, it’s important to be open to compromise. Family Court judges often appreciate parties who demonstrate a willingness to find reasonable solutions and work towards reaching agreements. Assess your priorities and be prepared to negotiate on certain aspects of your case. Collaborative problem-solving can lead to more satisfactory outcomes and reduce the emotional toll of prolonged litigation.

Accurate and reliable legal research is essential for effective self-representation. Make use of reputable legal resources, such as official statutes, court rules, and published case opinions. Ensure that you understand the legal principles and precedents that apply to your case. Utilize online legal databases, law libraries, or legal research platforms to access up-to-date information. By relying on sound legal research, you can build strong arguments and make persuasive submissions to the court.

While you may be representing yourself, there may be instances where seeking professional consultations can benefit your case. Consider scheduling consultations with family law attorneys on specific legal issues or complex matters. They can provide valuable insights, help you assess the strength of your arguments, and offer guidance on strategic decisions. Even though you are not retaining full legal representation, limited consultations can provide valuable support and help you fine-tune your approach.

Conclusion Remember, self-representation requires dedication, knowledge, and perseverance. By implementing these strategies and taking an active role in your case, you can increase your chances of success in the Family Court system. Although the process may seem daunting, with the right mindset and resources, self-representation can empower you to protect your interests and achieve favorable outcomes.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

The Common Misconceptions of being Pro se in Family Court

The legal community has the tradition of discouraging people from representing themselves in court.  No matter who you talk to and what the issue is, lawyers and judges will undoubtedly talk you into hiring an attorney for your case. And with reason, as the legal process can be quite complex and can have your dire consequences.  Lawyers don’t go to law school for three years for the sport of it, they learn some very valuable skills that prepares them for the challenges of working with the law.  However, there are instances where hiring a lawyer is not the best route, especially when the individual is capable, the issues are not that complex and the possible outcomes are not that catastrophic.

Beliefs about Hiring a Family Law Attorney:

I worked as a family law attorney for several years and have noticed some common thoughts people have about hiring an attorney to help them with their divorce or custody case.  The most prevalent thought is that having an attorney would get them much more than they can get on their own.  And although this is certainly the case in some instances, it’s not the case in all situations.  Getting what you want or what you demand in your divorce or custody case has more to do with the issues, the laws, your jurisdiction, the judge, etc than just having an attorney by your side.  Thus, there are instances where it doesn’t matter whether you are represented or not, these other factors can render much better outcomes than not.

Another popular belief is that attorneys know the judge and that too can get litigants the best results. Tons of people think that no matter the merits of their case, having an attorney whose familiar with the judge is a slam dunk. This is definitely not the case. Let’s think about this, legal communities are provincial, everyone knows everyone within specific specialties and particular jurisdictions. So that means, if both parties have an attorney chances are they both know the judge so who “wins” then? Don’t get me wrong, there are times where a lawyer has to call in a favor with the judge, but they’re not prone to call in that favor unless it’s “big” win for them to begin with.

Truths about Working with a Family Law Attorney:

There are some truths about family law attorneys that go far beyond what most people think. The first one I can think of is, their main concern is not what your concerns are.  Your staying in the marital home, your being able to keep your children more than the other parent does, etc. are not their major concern. Not at all, they are probably more caught up with can you pay, how will you pay, and how much it will cost them to represent you.  I bet you didn’t have a clue that these were some of their thoughts, right? Well of course they want you to content, notice I didn’t say “happy” because no one is ever happy in family court. Family law attorneys know that custody and divorce issues can run on forever, so there has to something in it for them.

Self-Representation or Pro Se as an Option

Self-representation or pro se can mean a number of things while getting you the same outcome as if you were lawyer represented. There are so many options out there now that suits the litigant who chooses to go it alone in Family Court. Note, I am not referring to the people who don’t have a choice to go to court pro se due to lack of funds. I am talking about the people who are aware of the truths about Family Court and believe they can navigate it on their own. There are options to help the people who fall under this category.

Unbundled Services is an option in this instance. These are one time tasks like document preparation, document editing, court filing, legal research, etc. that you can hire a service to do for you. There is no contractual obligation or huge retainer fees, just pay for the specific service. NOTE: The unauthorized practice of law is something to keep an eye out for as some states are very strict about what people can do with respect to document preparation and editing.

Limited scope is where the pro se litigant hires an attorney to perform specific tasks, as in Unbundled Services, but it can include making a one-time court appearance.

Pro Se coaching is another option where the pro se litigant can have someone advise them on the court process, researching, filings, etc. NOTE: Pro Se coaches are prohibited from giving legal advice.

Whichever option you choose, it is still advisable to get at least two (2) consultations from experienced attorneys in your jurisdiction so that you are at least aware of the possibility outcomes.

What You Can Expect Representing Yourself in Family Court

You will not win any favor with the judge, the opposing party’s lawyer or court staff when you choose to represent yourself in Family Court. In fact, there are some jurists that will deliberately make your life a living hell when you show up pro se. But this is an intimidation tactic used by most of them. The judge will, in some instances, threaten to rule a certain way or similar if you insist on being pro se. This is wrong! Unfortunately, though, a lot of litigants are scared into spending money they don’t have to hire an attorney.  Sometimes, too, they will settle on terms that know they don’t agree with just to avoid the judge carrying through on their threat.

The procedural rules is what’s most challenging for pro se litigants in Family Court. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not an easy feat to work your way through court procedure on your own. But it’s not brain surgery either. If you have great research skills, are very organized and are determined, you can handle the procedural rules.

If you are good at problem solving and have superb critical thinking skills, then you have a better chance at working through Family Court’s complex system. It isn’t for the people who give up easily, who need support with the basics or who get caught up in their emotions too much to focus. Not to say that if any of these things apply to you that you are doomed, but I’d certainly thing twice if I were you.

Representing yourself in family court requires careful preparation, knowledge of the legal system, and effective advocacy skills.

Conclusion:

While representing yourself can be advantageous in so many respsects, it is essential to recognize when you may need legal guidance. If you encounter complex legal issues, are unsure about court procedures, or feel overwhelmed by the process, consider at least consulting with an attorney to ensure you are adequately prepared and supported. Representing yourself in your divorce or custody case requires a strategic and well-prepared approach. By employing advanced strategies such as thorough legal research, superb critical thinking skills, stellar organization, and addressing potential challenges, you can strengthen your case and increase your chances of achieving a favorable outcome.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

Defending Families’ Rights: The Vital Role of Family Court Lawyers

In the complex and emotionally charged realm of family court, the importance of family court lawyers cannot be overstated. These legal professionals play a vital role in safeguarding the rights and interests of individuals navigating various family-related legal matters. From divorce and custody disputes to adoption and child support cases, family court lawyers bring their expertise and advocacy skills to ensure a fair and just legal process. This article delves into the significant role played by family court lawyers and explores the advantages of seeking legal representation in family court proceedings.

I. The Power of Legal Guidance: When Should I Represent Myself in Family Court?

Navigating the intricacies of family court proceedings can be overwhelming, especially for individuals without a legal background. One common question that arises is whether to represent oneself or seek professional legal representation. Understanding the complexities and potential risks involved is essential before making such a decision. Family court lawyers possess a deep understanding of family law, court procedures, and legal strategies, making them invaluable allies in protecting your rights and interests. However, there are times when representing oneself is the better option. Of course there are a number of variables that should certainly be taken into consideration but that’s not hard to do.

II. Divorce and Self-Representation: Pros and Cons

Divorce proceedings can be emotionally draining, and the decision to represent oneself adds an additional layer of turmoil. While some individuals may opt for self-representation to save on legal costs or to maintain control over their case, it is crucial to weigh these factors against the potential pitfalls. Things such as inadequate legal knowledge, difficulty in navigating confusing legal procedures, and the risk of being taken advantage of by the opposing party’s legal representation are all things that makes self-representation risky.

However, there are advantages to representing oneself in divorce that can definitely help with minimize some of the demise associated with divorce. First, saving in legal fees can be extremely helpful since most people endure huge financial losses when they split. Financial ruin is almost inevitable when people choose to break up their family so any reprieve helps. Next, The litigant that chooses to self represent doesn’t have to worry about the impropriety of the Unethical lawyer. And last, self represented individuals can feel empowered by the exercise of speaking uo and serving as their own advocate.

IV. Pro Se and Custody: Protecting the Best Interests of Children

Child custody battles can be emotionally charged, and decisions made during these proceedings have a profound impact on the lives of children involved. This section delves into the unique challenges and considerations of representing oneself in custody disputes. It emphasizes the importance of prioritizing the best interests of the children and how family court lawyers can effectively navigate the legal complexities to achieve favorable outcomes.

V. How to Make Self-Representation Work: Tips and Resources

For individuals who choose to represent themselves in family court, understanding the strategies and resources available is crucial for success. This section offers practical tips for making self-representation work effectively. It explores valuable resources such as self-help centers, legal clinics, online tools, and guidelines for thorough case preparation. By equipping oneself with the right knowledge and utilizing available resources, individuals can navigate family court with a better chance of achieving their desired outcomes.

Family court lawyers serve as guardians of justice and ensure the protection of family rights in legal proceedings. While self-representation is an option, the advantages of seeking professional legal representation cannot be understated. Family court lawyers bring their expertise, experience, and advocacy skills to the table, empowering individuals to navigate the complexities of family court and safeguard their rights and the best interests of their loved ones. Whether facing divorce, custody disputes, or other family-related legal matters, enlisting the support of a family court lawyer can make a significant difference in achieving a fair and just resolution.

Conclusion:

Family court lawyers play an indispensable role in defending family rights and ensuring a fair and just legal process in various family-related matters. Whether it’s navigating complex custody disputes, guiding individuals through the adoption process, advocating for fair financial arrangements, or facilitating collaborative approaches to dispute resolution, family court lawyers bring expertise, experience, and advocacy skills to the table. Seeking professional legal representation in family court proceedings empowers individuals to navigate the complexities of the legal system, safeguard their rights, and achieve favorable outcomes for themselves and their loved ones. By enlisting the support of family court lawyers, individuals can navigate the challenges of family court with confidence, knowing that their rights and the best interests of their families are protected.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

What We Do Differently with Family Court Assistance?

Family court assistance in the USA is an extremely useful option for individuals going through family law issues such as divorce, child custody battles, contempt, modification, domestic violence, child support, spousal support, and visitation. Whether your case is high-conflict or resolvable by settlement, we can help.

Family law cases are often very complicated and emotional, making them difficult to navigate without the help of a legal professional. However, everyone thinks that legal professionals are limited to attorneys. And then they’re frequently disappointed by the results or lack thereof, produced by the attorney. Attorneys are not magicians, as many think, they rarely earn the exorbitant fees they demand.

There are alternatives to spending your children’s college funds on overpriced and underperforming attorneys. Family court assistance is one of those alternatives. We provide coaching, mentoring, and consulting services geared toward helping people who want more control in their cases. We give attention to the topics and issues that often get in the litigants’ way of getting their desired outcomes.

You have rights you have no idea exists, there are exceptions to rules you have no idea how to use and there are overlapping laws that you have no idea how to apply. Not only that, a lot of the confusion comes from not knowing how to navigate the court system or how to process important aspects of your case. We help you with all of these.

As a strategist & coach, we work as your professional family court assistant to ensure that you are satisfied with the overall outcome and managed to save thousands.

How to find the most reliable family court assistance?

Whatever route you choose, know that there are certain criteria you need to seek when looking for the right and reliable family court assistance. Most of the time, people compromise on quality in exchange for costs because they’re afraid of doing it on their own. For this, the following are some helpful points that will lead you to find the most reliable and professional family court assistance:

1. Seek referrals: 

Ask friends, family, or colleagues for recommendations. If they have used certain family court assistance services, attorneys, etc. in the past, they can give you an honest opinion about their experience. 

2. Search online: 

Search for family court assistance using terms like family court coach, mediator, family law strategist, on search engines is very helpful. Also, review websites and trusted legal directories often have options. Make a list of prospects and check their backgrounds, experience, and customer reviews. These days, it is considered the best way to find these professionals with the help of social media. In various social media platform chats, one can find out the most reliable and the most professional family court assistance with a high rate of winning cases.  

3. Check credentials: 

Verify that the family court assistance services are licensed and registered to operate in your state, depending on their title. For example, mediators should be certified, lawyers should be admitted to the bar, etc.

4. Schedule a consultation: 

It’s essential to have a face-to-face meeting with the potential family court assistance services to discuss your case details and ask any relevant questions. This will help you assess their skills, knowledge, and professionalism. 

5. Compare prices: 

Family court assistance services costs vary widely. Get estimates from multiple providers and compare them to find the most affordable one that fits your budget while meeting your expectations with respect to credentials.

How should you choose which of the family court assistance service to use?

While looking for the best and most reliable family court assistance, one must check out some important factors that are discussed below:

1. Experience: 

If you work with a family law attorney or mediator, be sure they have extensive experience in handling family court cases with issues exactly like yours. You want someone who has successfully handled cases similar to your own. If you’re working with a coach, strategist, or consultant, however, just make sure they have experience with the non-legal aspects of your case in addition to the legal. This difference between whom you choose matters for some more than others. 

2. Credentials: 

Make sure they have the necessary education, licensing, and certification to provide the assistance.  

3. Reputation: 

Check out online reviews, ratings, and testimonials from previous clients to see what they have to say about the services provided by the provider. Be sure to verify the source of the review as reviews are often non-authentic.  

4. Communication: 

Knowing how any family law professional communicates with their client is extremely important. How frequently they reach out, how long they take to respond, the method they use to communicate, and so on, are all important.

5. Availability: 

Check if the family court assistance service you are considering is available when you need them. You want someone who can answer your questions and provide legal guidance and support when you need it. 

6. Fees: 

Always discuss the fee structure upfront and clarify what services are covered. Make sure you understand how much you will be charged, how you will be billed, and what expenses you will be responsible for. Be sure to get this in writing as well.

7. Personal Connection: 

It is important to choose someone with whom you have a good personal connection. Family law cases can be emotional and stressful, so working with someone who is understanding and empathetic can make a big difference in how you feel about the process.

What are the perks and benefits of choosing the right family court assistance service?

There are benefits to having someone to support you as you attempt to maintain mental clarity, emotional balance, and practical support at every phase of your case. Of course it is not impossible to do it on your own but so many variables go into choosing if that route is best for you and your family.

Expert Advice and Knowledge: 

Experienced family law professionals bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to the table, providing expert advice and guidance on all aspects of the legal process. Particularly for the ones who have the practical experience from being in court, the right professional can give you insight from various perspectives.

Mediation and Negotiation: 

Many family law disputes can be resolved outside of court through mediation and negotiation. Someone like a mediator, parent coordinator, and coach can help facilitate these discussions and ensure that your interests are protected. 

Emotional Support: 

Family law disputes can be emotionally taxing. A, coach or strategist particularly, can provide emotional support and guidance during this difficult time. 

Efficiency: 

A family court assistance team can help streamline the process, ensuring that your case is handled efficiently and effectively. 

Expected winning situation:

You can rest assured that you will be satisfied with the outcome of your case by hiring a professional and experienced family court assistance service. Taking into account every aspect of your family court experience while working with you only goes to increase your satisfaction with how the process plays out as well as the end results.

Cost Savings: 

Choosing to work with a family law professional can save you thousands in legal fees and costs. Even if you choose to hire an attorney, family law assistance services can help you keep those costs down.  

In Conclusion It is important to explore all options. We understand that Family Court can wreak havoc on your life no matter who you are. So instead of feeling defeated by the process, start to look at the possible outcomes and work from there. You know what’s at stake for your better than anyone.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

Use Your Family Court Appearances as Part of Your Strategy, Part One: The Initial Conference

Once a divorce or custody case starts in Family Court there is usually a process in court. Unless the parties agree and filing the papers is just a formality, every case is set to proceed down the same path. The objective of that path is to facilitate the process by identifying issues, resolving issues, and getting a final determination. Each stage of the case has a specific goal and serves an exact purpose. To litigants, this process can seem confusing, unnecessary, and at times, prejudicial. But the process can be used to your advantage as a litigant if you would keep several things in mind. Strategy entails gathering information whenever and however you can, the court appearances are ideal in that sense.

The Initial Appearance

The Initial Conference itself is usually a brief meeting. Although all parties are required to appear, the way you appear is up to the court (via phone, video, or in-person.)

A final determination of anything asked for in the petition or motion is unlikely unless the parties agree to it. However, there are instances where temporary orders are issued depending on the parties’ requests, the immediate need, etc.

The Initial Conference is your first opportunity to gauge what the “real” issues of the case are. When crafting your strategic game plan, one of the principal elements is that you gain an understanding of where the opposing party stands. What this means, is that you need to know what their strengths and weaknesses are. You might think you know what they are, but you will get confirmation at the initial conference. The judge will want to know what the issues are and will more than likely, give some hints as to which issues are “real” issues.

In addition, the Initial Conference is your chance to familiarize yourself with the court process, the key players, and the judge’s demeanor. These are all key elements to focus on when creating your game plan too. Your case is not just about the parties, the law, and/or the lawyers. There is an entire process that and that entire process has a significant impact on the outcome of your case.

And last, you are giving the court to make its impression of you. You get to determine that. So many people are intimidated by the court process when you get to dictate how it goes. You must learn to be calm, focused, and prepared as you only get one chance to make a first impression.

How to Prepare for the Initial Conference

Preparing for the Initial Conference efficiently is important. However, being intentional in how you prepare is critical to the strategy for your case. In other words, plot every step or tactic you intend to use at the actual conference. Review the opposing party’s petition or motion to look for key things to focus on. You want to focus on these specific things to watch for credibility in statements, to check for consistency throughout the process, and to make notes for Discovery requests.

Next, you want to do as much research as you can before the actual conference. Research the laws, the procedural rules, the attorneys, and the judge. You might not find exactly what you expect, but you should look to see what’s out there.

And last, you should have a set of questions in your mind. You might get a chance to ask specific questions and that’s fine. But you should pay attention because although your questions might be unasked, you might still get answers to them.

After the Initial Conference

Once the conference is over, you should have a much clearer picture of what you need to do next. You should feel confident, determined, and empowered, not defeated. Remember, this is your opportunity to determine the direction you want your case to go in. Not let the antics of the opposing party distract or discourage you.

You should be able to fill in some key parts of your game plan.

In Conclusion

Too many litigants overlook the opportunities to take control of their case presented in the Initial Conference. They allow their emotions to take over and lose sight as a result. Every interaction, encounter, etc. is an opportunity to gain leverage. Take advantage of it.

 

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

 
Tagged

Choosing the Right Family Court Documents in Custody

I recently noticed that many Family Court litigants are clueless about filing and using the correct documents in their custody cases. There are different documents for diverse types of cases of course. But there are times when it is not just the type of case that matters, it is its purpose. There are petitions, complaints, responses, objections, oppositions, motions, show causes, cross-motions, cross-petition, and counterclaims. So, let’s discuss all family court documents in custody:

Type of Family Court Case

In Family Court, custody cases can go on forever.  In fact, they typically do.  If you are in court on custody once, you can almost bet on being back over the course of your child’s life until the age of majority.  So, there is a difference, for example, in an initial case for Custody or Visitation and a Modification or Contempt case. The difference affects how the case will proceed, which rules apply and how they apply.  So, an initial custody case might consist of the initial Complaint and maybe a Cross-Complaint as far as documents (pleadings). This is so because the parties are only trying to establish some sort of guidelines or parameters to co-parent.  It is not uncommon that the parties are unaware of all the issues that may become an issue later.

Strategic Plan in Divorce or Custody

Purpose of Family Court Documents in Custody

The other issue is what your objective is in the case.  If you are seeking to shed light on the lies, deception, and false statements, then you might need to file a Response or Opposition. If your intentions are to present your own version of the circumstances, then you might want to file a Cross-Petition or Cross-Motion.  But even further, if you have your own separate demands, then you should most certainly file a Cross-Motion or Cross-Petition in the custody or visitation case.

The document you file will still depend on the type of case, but your purpose for the document is important.

Procedure for Documents

Every single state has its own set of procedural rules when it comes to drafting, filing, and serving custody or visitation documents. They also have specific time frames and deadlines within which specific documents need to be filed. This is extremely important to know because it can affect how you choose to proceed. If you realize at some point in your case, that you should file a Cross-Petition what are your options?

Well, that depends on the point in which you realized it. Can you file a Cross-Petition at the time the case is scheduled for a hearing? If not, what can you do instead? These are all particularly important to know as you navigate your way through your case. You might not be able to, but you can ask for the court’s permission to file an Objection or Opposition. Or maybe you can get the court’s permission to extend the time for hearing/trial until you are able to have your Cross-Petition added to the court’s docket. The way you proceed is dictated by your court’s procedural rules as well as its administrative process.

How it All Comes into Play?

For those of you who do not know, my focus is always on the strategic aspect of custody cases.  My unique approach takes a bird’s eye view of each case and produces a precise plan to help litigants reach their goals.  This means that each of the elements I discussed above plays an important role.  Timing, wording, positioning, etc. all these interplay in how a case should be presented for court success.  So sometimes you might have missed a document filing deadline, but might be able to get on your side of the story another way. Therefore, it is critical to have these concepts in mind the moment you see yourself headed down this path.

In Conclusion

It is extremely important that you are aware of your local court procedures, how to navigate your way around the court (and the website), and that you learn the different forms and their use.  This knowledge can impact the overall outcome of your custody case.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

Tagged

We would love to stay connected.

Join our email list to stay in touch to get deals, discounts, tips, etc.

 
The Diavorce Solutionist

Work with an experienced family law professional that can get you the results you want. With a unique method of focusing on Strategy, not just law, you will get the guidance, support and information that will help you navigate the process successfully. Don’t waste another dime or minute on doing things the way you have been.

Quick Links

Ways We Can Help

Contact

  • +1- (862) 800-7850
  • tracey@thedivorcesolutionist.com
Copyright © 2023 The Divorce Solutionist.