The Diavorce Solutionist

Top Strategies for Avoiding Perjury Allegations in Family Court

Introduction

Navigating the complexities of family court can be a daunting experience. One of the most severe accusations you might face during these proceedings is perjury, which involves lying under oath. Being accused of perjury can have serious legal consequences, including fines, imprisonment, and a loss of credibility in court. To help you steer clear of these allegations, this article outlines the top strategies for avoiding perjury in family court.

Understand the Definition of Perjury

The first step in avoiding perjury allegations is understanding what perjury entails. Perjury is the intentional act of swearing a false oath or falsifying an affirmation to tell the truth, whether spoken or in writing, concerning matters material to a judicial proceeding. This definition highlights that perjury is not merely lying but lying about something significant to the case while under oath.

Always Tell the Truth

The most straightforward strategy to avoid perjury is to always tell the truth. Honesty is the best policy, especially in a court of law. Even if the truth may seem damaging, lying can result in far worse consequences. If you are unsure about a fact, it is better to say, “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember,” rather than making something up.

Be Prepared and Organized

Preparation is key to avoiding perjury allegations. Thoroughly review all the documents and evidence related to your case. Organize your paperwork, so you have easy access to any information you might need while testifying. This preparation will help ensure that your statements are accurate and consistent.

Perjury

Consult with Your Attorney

Before testifying, have a detailed discussion with your attorney. They can guide you on how to present your testimony clearly and truthfully. Your lawyer will also help you understand the questions you might face and prepare you for cross-examination. An attorney’s advice is invaluable in ensuring that you do not unintentionally provide false information.

Avoid Exaggeration

Exaggeration can easily lead to perjury allegations. Stick to the facts and avoid overstating or embellishing any part of your testimony. Even small exaggerations can undermine your credibility and result in perjury charges. Provide precise and concise answers to all questions.

Understand the Questions Asked

Misunderstanding a question can lead to incorrect answers, which might be perceived as lies. If you do not understand a question, ask for clarification before responding. Taking a moment to ensure you fully understand the question can prevent unintentional inaccuracies in your testimony.

Remain Calm and Composed

Family court proceedings can be emotionally charged, but it is essential to remain calm and composed. Emotional responses can lead to hasty statements that are not entirely accurate. Take a deep breath, think before you speak, and answer questions in a measured manner.

Keep Consistent Records

Maintaining consistent records can support your testimony and provide a reliable reference. Keep detailed notes of all interactions and events related to your case. These records can help you recall details accurately and demonstrate your commitment to honesty if any discrepancies arise.

Avoid Speculation

Speculating or guessing can be detrimental in court if you are unsure about an answer, state that clearly. Guessing can lead to incorrect information, which can be construed as perjury. Stick to what you know and avoid making assumptions.

Correct Mistakes Immediately

If you realize that you have provided incorrect information, correct it immediately. Inform your attorney and the court as soon as possible. Promptly addressing mistakes demonstrates your commitment to honesty and can mitigate potential perjury allegations.

Stay Informed About the Legal Process

Understanding the legal process and what is expected of you can help you navigate family court more effectively. Familiarize yourself with court procedures and the roles of different court officials. This knowledge can reduce anxiety and help you provide clear, accurate testimony.

Avoid Coaching or Collusion

Do not engage in coaching or collusion with others involved in the case. Attempting to align testimonies or fabricate stories can easily lead to perjury charges. Each person’s testimony should be their own honest account of events.

Use Precise Language

Choose your words carefully when testifying. Ambiguous or vague language can be misinterpreted, leading to accusations of lying. Be as precise as possible in your descriptions and answers to ensure clarity and accuracy.

Perjury

Review Your Testimony

If you have given a deposition or previous testimony, review it before appearing in court. Consistency is crucial, and reviewing your past statements can help ensure that your current testimony aligns with what you have previously said.

Be Aware of Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, can also impact your credibility. Be mindful of your demeanor in court, as inconsistencies between your words and body language can raise suspicions.

The Role of Technology

In today’s digital age, technology can play a significant role in family court cases. Be aware that emails, text messages, social media posts, and other digital communications can be used as evidence. Ensure that all your digital communications are truthful and consistent with your testimony.

Understanding Legal Terminology

Familiarize yourself with common legal terminology used in family court. Understanding these terms can help you avoid misunderstandings and provide more accurate answers during your testimony.

The Importance of Documentation

Documentation is critical in supporting your testimony. Ensure that you have all necessary documents, such as financial records, communication logs, and any other relevant paperwork, organized and ready to present in court. Accurate documentation can corroborate your statements and provide a solid foundation for your case.

Knowing Your Rights

It is essential to understand your rights when testifying in family court. Knowing what you are entitled to can help you feel more confident and prepared. For example, you have the right to consult with your attorney during breaks and the right to clarify questions if you do not understand them.

Seeking Support

Going through a family court case can be emotionally taxing. Seek support from friends, family, or professional counselors to help you cope with the stress. A clear and focused mind will help you present your testimony accurately and truthfully.

Conclusion

Avoiding perjury allegations in family court requires a combination of honesty, preparation, and awareness. By understanding what perjury entails, always telling the truth, being well-prepared, and consulting with The Divorce Solutionist, you can navigate the complexities of family court with confidence. Remember to avoid exaggeration, remain calm, and keep detailed records to support your testimony. By following these strategies, you can help ensure that your statements are accurate and truthful, thereby protecting your credibility and legal standing in court.

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Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap with the Divorce Solutionist

Unlocking Strategies

This is “Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap,” a trustworthy book that will help you confidently understand and handle the complicated world of divorce. People thinking about breaking up, going through the process, or starting over after a divorce can use this blog. Its goal is to help and support you at every step. We want to help people get through the mental, legal, and financial challenges of divorce by giving them valuable tips, expert advice, and caring support, all based on the Divorce Solutionist. We know that getting a divorce isn’t just a legal process; it’s a trip that changes everything about your life, from family ties to finances. 

Our goal is to make the divorce process easier by providing helpful papers, personal stories, and tips from professionals. We want to help by clarifying the legal process, providing information about your mental health, and giving you helpful advice for going forward. We aim to provide you with the information and help you need about things like co-parenting, money matters, and personal growth so that you can make intelligent decisions and move toward a better future.

What is divorce? 

Divorce signifies the official termination of a marriage in the eyes of the law. It is a formal procedure that ends the legal connection and obligations of a married pair. Although the causes of divorce are multifaceted and diverse, essentially it signifies that a married couple is unable to reside together as partners.

Legal proceedings usually consist of navigating a judicial process to officially end the marriage. This may include matters such as dividing belongings and obligations, determining child custody (if kids are present), and providing spousal assistance.

Emotional Effects

The process of divorce can bring strong emotions for all parties, such as the couple, kids, and relatives. Emotions like sadness, anger, confusion, and guilt are frequently experienced.

Life changes

When people get divorced, their living situations, earnings, and family ties can change significantly. Both people involved should think about how these changes will impact their lives and the lives of any children they may have.

Divorces aren’t always nasty. Sometimes, couples can work with a referee to find a fair and helpful answer. Different places have different divorce laws. It’s wise to talk to a lawyer who knows the rules in your area before you decide to get a divorce.

Managing finances during separation and divorce

It can be hard to deal with money during a divorce or separation. You can make sure your financial future is safe if you plan. This is a complete plan if you need help with your money in these challenging times.

Bank Statements

Checking, savings, and investment accounts, whether group or private, should all have new bills sent to them. Keep track of your IRAs, 401(k), and any other savings accounts you have. Make copies of your mortgage, car loan, credit card, and any other debt documents you need as proof.

Develop a budget

Make a list of everything you buy and the money that comes in and out, like food, gas, rent, mortgage, etc. This will help you determine what’s going on with your money and what changes you need to make.

Ensure Your Financial Freedom

Set up separate bank accounts so you can manage your money independently. You might want to close down shared accounts to stop people from spending money without permission.

Conclusion

As we wrap up our exploration of “Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap,” keep in mind that divorce can be difficult but it also presents a chance for personal development and rejuvenation. Whether you received support in grasping legal intricacies, handling feelings, or repairing connections, realise that you have companions on this path. The Divorce Solutionist is dedicated to standing by you throughout all stages of divorce and after. Keep in mind that the healing process requires time, and every small progress made is a success. 

Keep making self-care a priority, reach out to loved ones and professionals for support, and believe in your own resilience as you navigate through this chapter. We appreciate your participation in our community. We recommend that you go back to our materials, discuss your experiences, and continue to expand your knowledge and develop. Welcome the future with positivity, confident in your abilities and know-how to establish a satisfying life after a divorce.

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Decoding Perjury: Your Guide to Truth in Family Court

Truth in Family Court

In family court, where decisions have a significant impact on lives, truth serves as the foundation on which justice is constructed. However, understanding these legal complexities can sometimes seem like solving a complicated puzzle, with clarity and truth being hidden by the haze of strong emotions and disputes. Grasping the concept of perjury is essential in this situation, as it has the potential to influence results, undermine impartiality, and diminish confidence in the legal system. Lying in family court goes beyond a legal definition; it damages trust and can break apart families. Misleading statements about finances, custody arrangements, or personal conduct have consequences that extend beyond the courtroom. 

Identifying signs of lying necessitates a sharp observation of contradictions and a dedication to finding the truth that goes beyond self-interests. In this manual, we explore the intricacies of committing perjury during family court hearings. We will examine the elements of perjury, ways to spot possible lies, and the significant consequences it can have on both legal proceedings and individuals’ lives. Our goal is to empower people with the information necessary to navigate family court confidently, truthfully, and ethically, by clarifying this frequently misunderstood subject.

The importance of truth in family court proceedings

Legal fights in family court are frequently filled with intense emotions. Divorces, disagreements over child custody, and similar matters have the potential to bring out people’s most unethical side, leading them to distort or create evidence in order to come out on top. Nevertheless, truth is the foundation for making fair judgments in family court. This is the reason why honesty is crucial.

Safeguarding Children’s Welfare

Children are the most at-risk individuals in family court proceedings. Judges depend on precise details regarding a child’s home situation, parental capabilities, and connections in order to make decisions that serve the child’s well-being. Falsehoods can hide important information, resulting in situations that negatively impact a child’s mental or physical health.

Fairness and Equity

Both parties should receive an impartial hearing grounded in the evidence. When a party deceives, it hinders the other’s capability to present their argument successfully. If a judge is given a distorted view of reality, they will not be able to make a fair decision.

Long-Term Durability

Decisions made in family court can frequently result in long-lasting effects. Arrangements for custody, payments for child support, and division of property can have long-lasting effects on individuals’ lives. Constructing these arrangements based on honesty enhances their durability and diminishes the chances of future conflicts arising from prior dishonesty.

Deterrence and Consequences

Providing false information in court is a grave crime that can result in perjury charges. The risk of facing legal consequences may prevent individuals from falsifying evidence or deceiving the court. Encouraging open communication in family court is important. Despite the adversarial nature of court proceedings, being honest can help set the stage for future cooperation, particularly when co-parenting is involved. Parents can prioritise their children’s well-being knowing they can depend on honest information from the other parent.

How to recognize potential instances of perjury in court documents

Recognizing possible perjury in legal papers demands close attention to details and comprehension of legal principles. Here is a manual to assist you in identifying warning signs.

In the document

Search for conflicting statements in the same affidavit, testimony, or legal filing. This may include dates, times, locations, or particular event details. Compare the document in question with other statements from the same individual, such as previous depositions, witness testimonies, or police reports, found in various documents. Differences among these sources may signal possible perjury.

The cat was sleeping peacefully on the windowsill. The sun was shining on its fur, creating a warm glow. Not being specific or using vague language. Ambiguous phrases such as “I think” or “as far as I can remember” are employed to prevent making conclusive statements that might be discredited.

Excessively general statements could also be viewed with scepticism. For instance, proving “I never witnessed him” over a long period of time could be challenging to verify. Illogical or nonsensical statements should be taken note of. This might include providing false alibis or making claims about events the individual couldn’t have seen.

Be cautious of papers that have been heavily revised, erased marks, or irregularities in layout. These might be efforts to hide or change information. Make sure to take note of the day the document was signed. If a person states they observed an occurrence but signed the legal document at a later time, it could spark skepticism.

Conclusion

To sum up, seeking truth in family court is more than just a legal duty, it is a moral necessity. After delving into the intricacies and outcomes of lying under oath, it is evident that truthfulness is crucial for a proper and equitable legal system. By staying open and honest in all actions, people preserve the purity of the legal system and guarantee that choices are based on reality. Going ahead, it is crucial for everyone involved to prioritise ethical behaviour and accuracy of information. In this way, we create a space where fairness can succeed and where the well-being of families and children is safeguarded. 

We should not forget that lying under oath has consequences that reach beyond just the legal outcomes; it also damages people, connections, and the faith in our legal system. Let’s work to maintain fairness and honesty in family court by upholding these values throughout the legal process, ensuring that justice is not only achieved but also perceived.

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Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter

Divorce Solutionist

Welcome to Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter the reliable source for confidently navigating the challenges of divorce with clarity. If you are thinking about divorce, going through it, or adapting to life after, our newsletter offers valuable insights, expert advice, and practical solutions. Divorce entails more than just a legal procedure; it represents a significant shift in various facets of life, such as emotions, finances, and family dynamics. At “Stay Informed,” we recognize the difficulties you encounter and are dedicated to providing extensive assistance to guide you along every step of the way.

Every issue of our newsletter addresses various important topics related to your divorce process, such as comprehending legal steps, maintaining emotional health, handling co-parenting relationships, and preparing for a stable financial future. We also explore different ways to resolve disputes, showcase local resources, and feature stories of people who have successfully moved on after a divorce. Become a part of our subscriber community to gain access to information and tools for making educated choices and succeeding after divorce. Join now and allow “Stay Informed” to be your reliable partner during this transitional phase of life.

Emotional and Psychological Impact

The world is quickly being changed by artificial intelligence , and its impact goes well beyond just technology. it is greatly affecting our emotional health and mental state, bringing both advantages and difficulties.

Effect on feelings or emotions

Worrying about artificial intelligence taking over human jobs can cause anxiety and feelings of insecurity. Individuals might have concerns about their capacity to rival machines or dread being completely displaced from their jobs.

Loss of Control

With the advancement there is a growing possibility of losing control. The use of algorithms in finance or criminal justice can lead to worries about visibility and equity. Social isolation can result from depending on assistants and social media algorithms, causing a disconnection from real-life relationships.

Positive feelings

The Capable is eliciting positive emotions as well. -driven chatbots have the ability to provide companionship and assistance, while customised suggestions can improve user satisfaction and overall experience.

Self-worth

engagement with that performs well in certain areas may result in experiencing inadequacy or inferiority. Questioning the definition of humanity can arise due to the increasing abilities  . As human and machine intelligence become less distinguishable, our understanding of ourselves may be questioned.

the capability to transform the field of mental health care by providing support. Artificial intelligence tools are able to examine data to detect symptoms of mental health problems early on, while chatbots can offer initial help and information. Relying too much on  for mental health support may result in feelings of detachment and a loss of human connection.

Benefits of alternative dispute resolution

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) presents an appealing option to the usual court battles, offering multiple benefits for conflict resolution. Below are a few key advantages:

Cost efficiency

Utilising ADR methods is generally cheaper compared to the traditional route of legal litigation. Legal cases include costs like filing fees, attorney fees, expenses for expert witnesses, and the time dedicated to attending hearings and trials. On the contrary, ADR is frequently simplified and includes reduced costs for mediators or arbitrators.

Saving time

Legal proceedings can be drawn out for extended periods of months or even years. ADR provides a quicker solution. Mediation and arbitration sessions can be arranged promptly, with agreements reached within a few weeks or months. This helps both parties save time and progress more swiftly.

Maintaining Relationships

Legal disputes can create conflict and strain relationships between those involved. ADR promotes a collaborative setting for both parties to strive towards a solution they both agree on. This is especially advantageous when there is a need to sustain an ongoing business relationship or personal connection.

Enhanced Authority

The ultimate decision is made by a judge in the courtroom. ADR gives the parties in the dispute more authority over the result. By mediating, they are able to collaborate in creating a resolution that meets their individual requirements and desires.

Confidentiality is not usually maintained in court proceedings as they are generally part of public record. ADR, conversely, is private. This gives parties the opportunity to freely talk about confidential information without worrying about negative public attention or harm to their image.

Conclusion

We hope that you have found valuable guidance and support for your journey in this latest edition of Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter. Keep in mind, divorce is a tough phase, yet with understanding and support, it can also be a chance for personal development and fresh starts. Keep in touch with us for future editions where we will delve into important subjects like legal concerns, mental health, co-parenting approaches, financial preparation, and others. We aim to give you the tools and information necessary to confidently and clearly navigate through divorce.

We appreciate your participation in our community that is committed to helping people during this challenging time of change. “Stay Informed” is available to offer support and guidance to help you flourish after divorce, whether you need practical tips or emotional reassurance. Sign up now to keep updated and connected with our expanding group of divorce experts.

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Use Your Appearances as Part of Your Strategy, Part Two: The Family Court Status Conference

Last week I started a 3-part series on incorporating strategy in Family Court appearances. The goal is to show you how having a solid game plan enables you to position your case advantageously. Last week I focused on the first court appearance in custody or divorce, the Initial Conference. This week’s focus is on using the Family Court appearance that follows the Initial Conference, the Family Court Status Conference as part of creating your strategy.

What the Family Court Appearance Status Conference Is

A status conference, in divorce or custody, gives the parties the chance to update the court on what has occurred since additional documents have been filed, to follow up on how temporary orders are working, or to check-in whether certain conditions have been met. The court will want to know how things have been going with respect to visitation to see if things can be resolved without a trial. If at the last court appearance either of the parties was self-represented, the court will want to know if that party(ies) hired a lawyer.

If the judge ordered certain procedural things, like a drug/alcohol screening, a mental health evaluation, or a home investigation, it would follow up with whether those things have been done. Also, if a GAL has been appointed, then the court will want to know the status.

The Goal of the Family Court Status Conference

Family Court, like most other courts, has an interest in saving time and resources. This means that the judge will always aim to get the parties to settle their case.  Family Court appearance Status Conference in custody or divorce is slightly different than the Initial Conference. The court’s hope is that by employing the tactics or measures mentioned above, they will flush out the perceived issues from the real ones. A custodial parent who insists that the noncustodial parent is incapable of taking care of their child for more than a few hours may realize that that’s not a real concern. The court will examine resolution tactics outside of a trial, like mediation. If the court decides on an alternative dispute resolution, it will set dates for the parties to adhere to.

A Discovery plan might also be discussed at a status conference. This usually entails setting rules & restrictions on Discovery as well as a timeline for the exchange of Discovery.

The last major thing to be addressed in a status conference is overall scheduling. In addition to setting dates for mediation and Discovery, the court will also set a deadline for any motions or amendments to petitions. In addition, the court might establish a pretrial conference date and a trial date.

The process for the status conference might differ when both parties and one party is self-represented. The court will try to encourage pro se litigants to get an attorney at this stage of the case with the thinking that they’d be more inclined to settle.

Using this Family Court Status Conference Strategically

This is the time to use what you have gathered outside of the courtroom, because of the court’s directions, to your advantage. In other words, the orders the court issued, the procedures the judge directed, etc. all offer you vantage points that didn’t exist before. You might have had suspicions about some issues that question the other party’s “fitness” as a parent. Or questions about the safety conditions of the other party’s home. Or speculation about the mental or physical health of the other parent. Either way, the status conference is the ideal time to gauge the court’s position on these specific issues. If, for instance, you mentioned your concern about drug abuse and the judge ordered drug screenings, then this shows that the judge takes this issue seriously. How many times have you raised concerns in court that were dismissed by the judge, often I bet? But if the judge thinks the issue, you raise has some semblance of merit, they will respond accordingly.

The other strategic way to use the Status Conference is by incorporating the information you acquired to help you decide if you should settle or proceed to trial. At this stage of your case, there have been several discussions about settling at least a portion of your case. However, having the results of tests or investigations only helps you to make a much more informed decision when it comes to negotiations.

And last, if you are pro se (self-represented) you can learn a lot about the court process, the laws, and the local procedures at the status conference. You should always be on full alert, listening, watching, and taking mental notes.

In Conclusion

Every stage of your case offers some advantage as it progresses along. You might see going to court as a war zone, triggering all sorts of emotion, while I see it as an opportunity. Any time you are in an environment where you can learn the opposing party’s objective, you should see it as a potential advantage.

My new Pro Se Family Court Membership Program is the perfect solution to your custody or divorce situation.  Having a solid game plan that focuses on using strategy can make or break your case.  Interested in the details? Check here.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Use Your Family Court Appearances as Part of Your Strategy, Part One: The Initial Conference

Once a divorce or custody case starts in Family Court there is usually a process in court. Unless the parties agree and filing the papers is just a formality, every case is set to proceed down the same path. The objective of that path is to facilitate the process by identifying issues, resolving issues, and getting a final determination. Each stage of the case has a specific goal and serves an exact purpose. To litigants, this process can seem confusing, unnecessary, and at times, prejudicial. But the process can be used to your advantage as a litigant if you would keep several things in mind. Strategy entails gathering information whenever and however you can, the court appearances are ideal in that sense.

The Initial Appearance

The Initial Conference itself is usually a brief meeting. Although all parties are required to appear, the way you appear is up to the court (via phone, video, or in-person.)

A final determination of anything asked for in the petition or motion is unlikely unless the parties agree to it. However, there are instances where temporary orders are issued depending on the parties’ requests, the immediate need, etc.

The Initial Conference is your first opportunity to gauge what the “real” issues of the case are. When crafting your strategic game plan, one of the principal elements is that you gain an understanding of where the opposing party stands. What this means, is that you need to know what their strengths and weaknesses are. You might think you know what they are, but you will get confirmation at the initial conference. The judge will want to know what the issues are and will more than likely, give some hints as to which issues are “real” issues.

In addition, the Initial Conference is your chance to familiarize yourself with the court process, the key players, and the judge’s demeanor. These are all key elements to focus on when creating your game plan too. Your case is not just about the parties, the law, and/or the lawyers. There is an entire process that and that entire process has a significant impact on the outcome of your case.

And last, you are giving the court to make its impression of you. You get to determine that. So many people are intimidated by the court process when you get to dictate how it goes. You must learn to be calm, focused, and prepared as you only get one chance to make a first impression.

How to Prepare for the Initial Conference

Preparing for the Initial Conference efficiently is important. However, being intentional in how you prepare is critical to the strategy for your case. In other words, plot every step or tactic you intend to use at the actual conference. Review the opposing party’s petition or motion to look for key things to focus on. You want to focus on these specific things to watch for credibility in statements, to check for consistency throughout the process, and to make notes for Discovery requests.

Next, you want to do as much research as you can before the actual conference. Research the laws, the procedural rules, the attorneys, and the judge. You might not find exactly what you expect, but you should look to see what’s out there.

And last, you should have a set of questions in your mind. You might get a chance to ask specific questions and that’s fine. But you should pay attention because although your questions might be unasked, you might still get answers to them.

After the Initial Conference

Once the conference is over, you should have a much clearer picture of what you need to do next. You should feel confident, determined, and empowered, not defeated. Remember, this is your opportunity to determine the direction you want your case to go in. Not let the antics of the opposing party distract or discourage you.

You should be able to fill in some key parts of your game plan.

In Conclusion

Too many litigants overlook the opportunities to take control of their case presented in the Initial Conference. They allow their emotions to take over and lose sight as a result. Every interaction, encounter, etc. is an opportunity to gain leverage. Take advantage of it.

 

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

 
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Choosing the Right Family Court Documents in Custody

I recently noticed that many Family Court litigants are clueless about filing and using the correct documents in their custody cases. There are different documents for diverse types of cases of course. But there are times when it is not just the type of case that matters, it is its purpose. There are petitions, complaints, responses, objections, oppositions, motions, show causes, cross-motions, cross-petition, and counterclaims. So, let’s discuss all family court documents in custody:

Type of Family Court Case

In Family Court, custody cases can go on forever.  In fact, they typically do.  If you are in court on custody once, you can almost bet on being back over the course of your child’s life until the age of majority.  So, there is a difference, for example, in an initial case for Custody or Visitation and a Modification or Contempt case. The difference affects how the case will proceed, which rules apply and how they apply.  So, an initial custody case might consist of the initial Complaint and maybe a Cross-Complaint as far as documents (pleadings). This is so because the parties are only trying to establish some sort of guidelines or parameters to co-parent.  It is not uncommon that the parties are unaware of all the issues that may become an issue later.

Strategic Plan in Divorce or Custody

Purpose of Family Court Documents in Custody

The other issue is what your objective is in the case.  If you are seeking to shed light on the lies, deception, and false statements, then you might need to file a Response or Opposition. If your intentions are to present your own version of the circumstances, then you might want to file a Cross-Petition or Cross-Motion.  But even further, if you have your own separate demands, then you should most certainly file a Cross-Motion or Cross-Petition in the custody or visitation case.

The document you file will still depend on the type of case, but your purpose for the document is important.

Procedure for Documents

Every single state has its own set of procedural rules when it comes to drafting, filing, and serving custody or visitation documents. They also have specific time frames and deadlines within which specific documents need to be filed. This is extremely important to know because it can affect how you choose to proceed. If you realize at some point in your case, that you should file a Cross-Petition what are your options?

Well, that depends on the point in which you realized it. Can you file a Cross-Petition at the time the case is scheduled for a hearing? If not, what can you do instead? These are all particularly important to know as you navigate your way through your case. You might not be able to, but you can ask for the court’s permission to file an Objection or Opposition. Or maybe you can get the court’s permission to extend the time for hearing/trial until you are able to have your Cross-Petition added to the court’s docket. The way you proceed is dictated by your court’s procedural rules as well as its administrative process.

How it All Comes into Play?

For those of you who do not know, my focus is always on the strategic aspect of custody cases.  My unique approach takes a bird’s eye view of each case and produces a precise plan to help litigants reach their goals.  This means that each of the elements I discussed above plays an important role.  Timing, wording, positioning, etc. all these interplay in how a case should be presented for court success.  So sometimes you might have missed a document filing deadline, but might be able to get on your side of the story another way. Therefore, it is critical to have these concepts in mind the moment you see yourself headed down this path.

In Conclusion

It is extremely important that you are aware of your local court procedures, how to navigate your way around the court (and the website), and that you learn the different forms and their use.  This knowledge can impact the overall outcome of your custody case.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Disneyland Dad, or Mom, in Custody Disputes

In the world of family law, there’s a widely known term, Disneyland Dad, or Mom, in custody disputes. This term refers to the noncustodial parent who makes their time with the child more fun for the child. The term implies that their motives for doing this are to persuade or influence the child towards them over the other. This usually creates problems for the custodial parent who must “compete” with them.

 

What Qualifies as Disneyland Dad or Mom?

 A noncustodial parent does things to gain their child’s affection in several ways.  These include buying them expensive gifts, letting them have longer curfews, allowing them to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Basically, the noncustodial parent will purposely give the child things the other parent afford or allow them to do things the other parent does not. Their intention is clearly to be seen as the more likable or “cool” parent. Oftentimes the Disneyland parent goes out of their way to treat their child as their friend or peer instead of a child. They also employ other friends, significant others and/or family members to help them overextend their level of kindness.

Strategic Plan in Divorce or Custody

The parent who does this is usually motivated by their own selfishness. Because if they were concerned about their children, they would respect the boundaries imposed by the custodial parent.

Some Disneyland parents merely use these tactics as a means to be vindicated for being absent or abusive during the child’s life.  On the other hand, the narcissistic noncustodial parents’ motives are different. Their motives are usually control, manipulation, and vindictiveness. In these instances, there is no sound basis or justification for the behaviors.

How Does being a Disneyland Dad or Mom Impact the Best Interests Factors?

The best interests factors for each state varies. Some states put more emphasis on certain issues than others. Not to mention, some states put to give more consideration to some factors than others. The best interests factors require the court to look at them in order to decide what’s for the child’s wellbeing. The child’s mental, emotional, physical, and intellectual well-being are the underlying concerns in every case.

How the Disneyland parent’s behaviors get factored into custody determinations depends on these two things: the actual factors and how their behavior directly tie in and how their behavior affects the overall custody disputes.   The former is a direct application of the court’s standards, while the latter is indirect.  Both perspectives certainly have an impact on child custody cases, but for different reasons.

Applying the Best Interests Factors to Disneyland Dad or Mom

First, let’s look at Disneyland Dad or Mom and the best interests factors overall. The issues that come into play are the parent’s refusal, or inability, to set and maintain boundaries. This can certainly raise concerns with respect to the child’s mental, as well as physical, wellbeing. Mental well-being emphasizes the parent’s responsibility to ensure that the child develops into adulthood in a way that is adaptable. In other words, preparing them for growing up with the tools they need to maintain relationships, employment, Etc. Although parents want to ensure their children are happy, they should balance this intention with maintaining safe boundaries.

A. Factors Directly Related to Coparenting-

Next, the Disneyland Dad or Mom’s own mental or emotional health can be called into question under the best interests application.  The parent’s health, particularly their mental health, is often made obvious by their actions.  Their decision to manipulate their children in this way certainly calls attention to their mental health.

Another factor that might be triggered by the behaviors of the Disneyland Dad or Mom is the one that examines each parent’s ability to maintain or facilitate a meaningful relationship with the other. When one parent is intentionally ignoring or violating boundaries set by the other, it is obvious that they don’t care about maintaining a healthy parenting or co-parenting relationship.

And last, financial stability or standard of home environment also come into play with Disneyland Dad or Mom situations.   This is a huge concern when there is an imbalance in financial resources between the two parent’s homes.  The Disneyland parent usually has more resources and is able to shower the kids with gifts.  Alternatively, the Disneyland parent might have more free time, making them more able to do “fun” things with the children.  Either way, having more of what the child wants makes it hard to challenge this factor when the other parent doesn’t have the luxury.

B. Factors Directly to the Parent-Child Relationship

Another factor that can impact the Disneyland Dad or Mom’s choice to act this way is the child’s preference to live with either parent.  Clearly, their intention is to persuade or influence the child, and most times they are successful. Successful enough to influence the child’s choice about who they prefer to live with.  Of course, younger children don’t really have much say, but this certainly applies to the older ones.

And last, the relationship between the parent and child is most definitely a factor too.  The courts inherently look at the bond between each parent and their child(ren) when deciding custody.   And when the bond is strained or strengthened by deliberate acts of the other, there is cause for concern.

How to Defend against a Disneyland Dad or Mom in Custody Disputes?

There are several things you can do to defend against parents who use their resources to intentionally influence your child.  And although there are practical, moral, and emotional implications, you should try to focus on what you can control.  You can’t control the other parent’s behavior, nor can the courts actually, but you have some control over your children.

You need to work at ensuring your children receive the time and attention you have.  This means that you are not competing with the other parent.  You should use the time you have with your children in a meaningful way.  Instead of focusing on the things the other parent did or bought, for example, you redirect your children to what you are doing with them.

In court, you can focus on the specific best-interests factors that are in your favor.  You are a good parent merely because you are fighting to be a parent.  You might not be the “best” parent, but you most certainly are just as “fit” as the other parent. Use those “fit” factors to your advantage.  No one scores high on all factors, if they did they would not be in custody disputes.

In Conclusion

Don’t accept defeat in the custody disputes by being up against a Disneyland Dad or Mom.   You can work with what you have and still be acknowledged for being a “good” parent.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Strategic Plan in Divorce or Custody

Strategic plan family court
Strategic Plan Divorce Custody

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Creating a strategic plan in business is a must if that business wants to increase its chances of success. Having one usually indicates that the business is serious about mapping its short and long-term goals. It also means that they are dedicated to putting measures in place to reach them. Having a detailed plan based on your values and beliefs is a win-win. So why wouldn’t you create one for any aspect of your personal life? Particularly where the goals are extremely important and significant, why not plot out a plan. A strategic plan in divorce or custody is brilliant.

Your divorce or custody is more than likely consuming a huge part of your life… right? I mean it does not matter who you are, where you are located, how much money you have it’s daunting.  The Family Court experience is full of surprises. And one of the best ways to prepare for the unexpected is to prepare for the unexpected. A strategic plan is certain to do just that.

Imbalance of Power Custody Divorce

What is a Strategic Plan?

A strategic plan in divorce or custody is a roadmap that sets specific goals for your case. It considers all the facts & information relevant to your issues, no matter the source. It then requires you to use this data to focus on your personal values and beliefs to create a vision. This vision is made up of your long and short-term goals for yourself and your family. Then, creating a specific layout to achieve those goals requires a deeper understanding of the information gathered. The layout incorporates your strengths and weaknesses, measured against threats and opportunities.  This results in you producing a course of action to reach those goals. It is a roadmap, diagram, course of action, game plan to achieve success in Family Court.

Why Should You Have a Strategic Plan for your Family Court case?

As I mentioned, having a strategic plan increases your chances of success no matter what area of your life. And the reality is that you want to get the results you want no matter which side you are on in divorce or custody. Having a plan helps you to map out your goals for your family.

These goals include-

All these goals might have a place in your short and long-term goals. It is for you to decide which ones do and how to prioritize them. Because how you approach them depends on how important they are to you. And the more aligned the two are increased chances of success.

How Do You Create Strategic Plan?

The first step is to take an honest look at your current situation. This is difficult to do, but it needs to be done with as much objectivity as possible. You must dig deep and look wide to assess your financial, personal, emotional/mental, and legal circumstances. It is best that you take your time with this part because any oversights can ruin your efforts overall. Also, it is important to ask trusted loved ones for their insight as well to ensure that the assessment is accurate.

Next, you will spend time creating a detailed list of your opposing party’s position.  Look at the things they are requesting, their current situation, their past behaviors, etc. You do not have to be 100% accurate, but the more you are able to the better.

Then you will need to look at both lists to help you to create your vision. Your vision should consist of what your future family life looks like. For example, what does co-parent look like, what is your future financial situation, and so on.

From there, you will need to identify your strengths and weaknesses. This means classifying those things you produced in the first step, as strengths or weaknesses. They can be physical, legal, practical, financial or anything that has a direct impact on your divorce or custody.

After that, you will need to go beyond your lists to gather information directly related to the legal aspects of your family law case.  This includes your opponent’s position, the court venue/jurisdiction, policy issues, the laws, the judges, basically anything that is outside of your control.

Once you have gone through all these steps, you are able to create a plan by applying these to your overall goals.

When Should You Create a Strategic Plan?

Right now! Contact me to discuss how I can help.

Results of Having a Strategic Plan

You are better able to circumvent the destructive practices of the Family Court. Not only are you more prepared to deal with the Family Court’s bias and unfair treatment, but you also build confidence as a result.

Choosing to be Pro Se, as opposed to having an attorney, can be strategic.  Although most jurists discourage Family Court parties represent themselves, there are times when it’s advantageous.

Being a victim of your opponent is also off the table. Having a plan in place helps to become empowered. The exercise of creating the strategy is itself is empowering.

Having a better understanding of the Family Court process is also an advantage of having a strategic plan. Every step of the process covers every facet of the Family Court journey, and that is by design. You will most certainly be able to highlight the issues that are most important to the judge, which is extremely important.

In Conclusion

So, if you want to increase your chances of “winning” this is an excellent start. There is endless data on the importance of having a strategic plan in place. Even though the data available relates to business strategic plans, there is no sound reason it would not apply in divorce or custody.

If you would like to see how I can help you create the best Strategic Plan for your specific case, please visit here.

Related Tag: Child Custody

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Imbalance of Power Custody Divorce

It is not unheard of that parties in divorce or custody have unequal playing fields.  In several different family dynamics, one party can assert the decision-making authority or power to dominate the relationship.  Whether it be financial, physical, mental, or emotional, when one party has more to lose than the other, chances are there is an imbalance of power. The imbalance of power in custody or divorce can create a nightmare for all involved.  Most high-conflict cases stem from some unequal distribution of power or authority within the family.  Not to mention, contempt cases tend to happen more in instances.  Violating custody orders that came out of these dynamics is bound to happen.

Family Court Legal Terms, Commonly Used & Misused, Explained-PT I

Imbalance of Power Defined

During divorce or custody, an imbalance of power can exist in a few ways.  It may be something that pre-exists or that occurred as a result of turmoil associated with their Family Court Custody case.  Let’s take a look at situations where an imbalance was a part of the family unit before divorce or custody.   Many families have situations where one person is the breadwinner while the other stays home to raise the children.  And even though the parties’ contribution to the marriage is considered “equal” in a practical sense they may not be.

The breadwinner usually has the resources to hire a lawyer, move out of the home, give the children things out of the question for the other parent, and so on.  Having the means to do these sorts of things certainly puts that party in a more advantageous position concerning their case. This is an example of an imbalance of power in the financial sense.   But the imbalance can be mental, emotional, and physical too.  Anytime one party has substantially more to lose than the other, unfairly especially, there is an imbalance of power.

In relationships where there is physical, mental, and/or emotional abuse, an imbalance of power most certainly exists.  The victim of abuse almost always has no authority in the decision-making process or no power to exert authority in the relationship.

Sometimes an imbalance is created merely by using the children as pawns.  In parental alienation cases, for instance, one parent maliciously brainwashes or programs their child, resulting in hatred against the other.  This can lead to outcomes that are not based on the merits but on the power or authority one has over the other.

Why is Imbalance of Power Detrimental

Where there is an imbalance in power in divorce or custody, someone will undoubtedly lose.  The loss can be short-term or long-term, financial, mental, legal, or even physical.  The acquiescent party, for example, can be strong-armed into agreeing to joint custody knowing that that’s not what’s best for their child.  And in this case, the child “loses” too.  Unequal distribution of power can make negotiation difficult too.  In instances where the issues are pretty straightforward and ripe for settlement, an imbalance of power can unfairly shift things in the empowered party’s favor.

This happens often in Family Court and is major reason cases end catastrophically.  Principles like “the best interests of the child” don’t hold up because the power imbalance prevails instead.  This is disastrous because that empowered parent can shift his or her need to control to the child.

Not all situations are doomed in which there is an unequal distribution of power or authority.

Can You Level the Playing Field

In some cases, there is no leveling the playing field.  However, there are times when the parties (or others involved) can shift the focus.   In mediation, for example, the mediator is skilled at using tactics to shift the focus to the acquiescent party’s favor.  Mediators are trained to use specific methods to help bring important topics to the forefront.  These tactics don’t necessarily take the power away from the empowered party, but they certainly help to keep it at bay.

Another method is to become informed.  Knowledge is extremely important in shifting the focus or redirecting the control of the empowered party.  Arming oneself with all the information and relevant resources can help the acquiescent discover strengths they were unaware of.

A support system is crucial to shifting the imbalance as well.  Oftentimes, the party with the least authority or power builds confidence and strength just from having a supportive team around them.

In conclusion

Be mindful of your particular circumstances.  It is extremely important to be very honest with your intentions, your goals, and your present situation.  This will help you to prepare for what’s to come without losing out on what matters most.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

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