The Diavorce Solutionist

Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap with the Divorce Solutionist

Unlocking Strategies

This is “Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap,” a trustworthy book that will help you confidently understand and handle the complicated world of divorce. People thinking about breaking up, going through the process, or starting over after a divorce can use this blog. Its goal is to help and support you at every step. We want to help people get through the mental, legal, and financial challenges of divorce by giving them valuable tips, expert advice, and caring support, all based on the Divorce Solutionist. We know that getting a divorce isn’t just a legal process; it’s a trip that changes everything about your life, from family ties to finances. 

Our goal is to make the divorce process easier by providing helpful papers, personal stories, and tips from professionals. We want to help by clarifying the legal process, providing information about your mental health, and giving you helpful advice for going forward. We aim to provide you with the information and help you need about things like co-parenting, money matters, and personal growth so that you can make intelligent decisions and move toward a better future.

What is divorce? 

Divorce signifies the official termination of a marriage in the eyes of the law. It is a formal procedure that ends the legal connection and obligations of a married pair. Although the causes of divorce are multifaceted and diverse, essentially it signifies that a married couple is unable to reside together as partners.

Legal proceedings usually consist of navigating a judicial process to officially end the marriage. This may include matters such as dividing belongings and obligations, determining child custody (if kids are present), and providing spousal assistance.

Emotional Effects

The process of divorce can bring strong emotions for all parties, such as the couple, kids, and relatives. Emotions like sadness, anger, confusion, and guilt are frequently experienced.

Life changes

When people get divorced, their living situations, earnings, and family ties can change significantly. Both people involved should think about how these changes will impact their lives and the lives of any children they may have.

Divorces aren’t always nasty. Sometimes, couples can work with a referee to find a fair and helpful answer. Different places have different divorce laws. It’s wise to talk to a lawyer who knows the rules in your area before you decide to get a divorce.

Managing finances during separation and divorce

It can be hard to deal with money during a divorce or separation. You can make sure your financial future is safe if you plan. This is a complete plan if you need help with your money in these challenging times.

Bank Statements

Checking, savings, and investment accounts, whether group or private, should all have new bills sent to them. Keep track of your IRAs, 401(k), and any other savings accounts you have. Make copies of your mortgage, car loan, credit card, and any other debt documents you need as proof.

Develop a budget

Make a list of everything you buy and the money that comes in and out, like food, gas, rent, mortgage, etc. This will help you determine what’s going on with your money and what changes you need to make.

Ensure Your Financial Freedom

Set up separate bank accounts so you can manage your money independently. You might want to close down shared accounts to stop people from spending money without permission.

Conclusion

As we wrap up our exploration of “Unlocking Strategies: Your Divorce Roadmap,” keep in mind that divorce can be difficult but it also presents a chance for personal development and rejuvenation. Whether you received support in grasping legal intricacies, handling feelings, or repairing connections, realise that you have companions on this path. The Divorce Solutionist is dedicated to standing by you throughout all stages of divorce and after. Keep in mind that the healing process requires time, and every small progress made is a success. 

Keep making self-care a priority, reach out to loved ones and professionals for support, and believe in your own resilience as you navigate through this chapter. We appreciate your participation in our community. We recommend that you go back to our materials, discuss your experiences, and continue to expand your knowledge and develop. Welcome the future with positivity, confident in your abilities and know-how to establish a satisfying life after a divorce.

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Decoding Perjury: Your Guide to Truth in Family Court

Truth in Family Court

In family court, where decisions have a significant impact on lives, truth serves as the foundation on which justice is constructed. However, understanding these legal complexities can sometimes seem like solving a complicated puzzle, with clarity and truth being hidden by the haze of strong emotions and disputes. Grasping the concept of perjury is essential in this situation, as it has the potential to influence results, undermine impartiality, and diminish confidence in the legal system. Lying in family court goes beyond a legal definition; it damages trust and can break apart families. Misleading statements about finances, custody arrangements, or personal conduct have consequences that extend beyond the courtroom. 

Identifying signs of lying necessitates a sharp observation of contradictions and a dedication to finding the truth that goes beyond self-interests. In this manual, we explore the intricacies of committing perjury during family court hearings. We will examine the elements of perjury, ways to spot possible lies, and the significant consequences it can have on both legal proceedings and individuals’ lives. Our goal is to empower people with the information necessary to navigate family court confidently, truthfully, and ethically, by clarifying this frequently misunderstood subject.

The importance of truth in family court proceedings

Legal fights in family court are frequently filled with intense emotions. Divorces, disagreements over child custody, and similar matters have the potential to bring out people’s most unethical side, leading them to distort or create evidence in order to come out on top. Nevertheless, truth is the foundation for making fair judgments in family court. This is the reason why honesty is crucial.

Safeguarding Children’s Welfare

Children are the most at-risk individuals in family court proceedings. Judges depend on precise details regarding a child’s home situation, parental capabilities, and connections in order to make decisions that serve the child’s well-being. Falsehoods can hide important information, resulting in situations that negatively impact a child’s mental or physical health.

Fairness and Equity

Both parties should receive an impartial hearing grounded in the evidence. When a party deceives, it hinders the other’s capability to present their argument successfully. If a judge is given a distorted view of reality, they will not be able to make a fair decision.

Long-Term Durability

Decisions made in family court can frequently result in long-lasting effects. Arrangements for custody, payments for child support, and division of property can have long-lasting effects on individuals’ lives. Constructing these arrangements based on honesty enhances their durability and diminishes the chances of future conflicts arising from prior dishonesty.

Deterrence and Consequences

Providing false information in court is a grave crime that can result in perjury charges. The risk of facing legal consequences may prevent individuals from falsifying evidence or deceiving the court. Encouraging open communication in family court is important. Despite the adversarial nature of court proceedings, being honest can help set the stage for future cooperation, particularly when co-parenting is involved. Parents can prioritise their children’s well-being knowing they can depend on honest information from the other parent.

How to recognize potential instances of perjury in court documents

Recognizing possible perjury in legal papers demands close attention to details and comprehension of legal principles. Here is a manual to assist you in identifying warning signs.

In the document

Search for conflicting statements in the same affidavit, testimony, or legal filing. This may include dates, times, locations, or particular event details. Compare the document in question with other statements from the same individual, such as previous depositions, witness testimonies, or police reports, found in various documents. Differences among these sources may signal possible perjury.

The cat was sleeping peacefully on the windowsill. The sun was shining on its fur, creating a warm glow. Not being specific or using vague language. Ambiguous phrases such as “I think” or “as far as I can remember” are employed to prevent making conclusive statements that might be discredited.

Excessively general statements could also be viewed with scepticism. For instance, proving “I never witnessed him” over a long period of time could be challenging to verify. Illogical or nonsensical statements should be taken note of. This might include providing false alibis or making claims about events the individual couldn’t have seen.

Be cautious of papers that have been heavily revised, erased marks, or irregularities in layout. These might be efforts to hide or change information. Make sure to take note of the day the document was signed. If a person states they observed an occurrence but signed the legal document at a later time, it could spark skepticism.

Conclusion

To sum up, seeking truth in family court is more than just a legal duty, it is a moral necessity. After delving into the intricacies and outcomes of lying under oath, it is evident that truthfulness is crucial for a proper and equitable legal system. By staying open and honest in all actions, people preserve the purity of the legal system and guarantee that choices are based on reality. Going ahead, it is crucial for everyone involved to prioritise ethical behaviour and accuracy of information. In this way, we create a space where fairness can succeed and where the well-being of families and children is safeguarded. 

We should not forget that lying under oath has consequences that reach beyond just the legal outcomes; it also damages people, connections, and the faith in our legal system. Let’s work to maintain fairness and honesty in family court by upholding these values throughout the legal process, ensuring that justice is not only achieved but also perceived.

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Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter

Divorce Solutionist

Welcome to Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter the reliable source for confidently navigating the challenges of divorce with clarity. If you are thinking about divorce, going through it, or adapting to life after, our newsletter offers valuable insights, expert advice, and practical solutions. Divorce entails more than just a legal procedure; it represents a significant shift in various facets of life, such as emotions, finances, and family dynamics. At “Stay Informed,” we recognize the difficulties you encounter and are dedicated to providing extensive assistance to guide you along every step of the way.

Every issue of our newsletter addresses various important topics related to your divorce process, such as comprehending legal steps, maintaining emotional health, handling co-parenting relationships, and preparing for a stable financial future. We also explore different ways to resolve disputes, showcase local resources, and feature stories of people who have successfully moved on after a divorce. Become a part of our subscriber community to gain access to information and tools for making educated choices and succeeding after divorce. Join now and allow “Stay Informed” to be your reliable partner during this transitional phase of life.

Emotional and Psychological Impact

The world is quickly being changed by artificial intelligence , and its impact goes well beyond just technology. it is greatly affecting our emotional health and mental state, bringing both advantages and difficulties.

Effect on feelings or emotions

Worrying about artificial intelligence taking over human jobs can cause anxiety and feelings of insecurity. Individuals might have concerns about their capacity to rival machines or dread being completely displaced from their jobs.

Loss of Control

With the advancement there is a growing possibility of losing control. The use of algorithms in finance or criminal justice can lead to worries about visibility and equity. Social isolation can result from depending on assistants and social media algorithms, causing a disconnection from real-life relationships.

Positive feelings

The Capable is eliciting positive emotions as well. -driven chatbots have the ability to provide companionship and assistance, while customised suggestions can improve user satisfaction and overall experience.

Self-worth

engagement with that performs well in certain areas may result in experiencing inadequacy or inferiority. Questioning the definition of humanity can arise due to the increasing abilities  . As human and machine intelligence become less distinguishable, our understanding of ourselves may be questioned.

the capability to transform the field of mental health care by providing support. Artificial intelligence tools are able to examine data to detect symptoms of mental health problems early on, while chatbots can offer initial help and information. Relying too much on  for mental health support may result in feelings of detachment and a loss of human connection.

Benefits of alternative dispute resolution

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) presents an appealing option to the usual court battles, offering multiple benefits for conflict resolution. Below are a few key advantages:

Cost efficiency

Utilising ADR methods is generally cheaper compared to the traditional route of legal litigation. Legal cases include costs like filing fees, attorney fees, expenses for expert witnesses, and the time dedicated to attending hearings and trials. On the contrary, ADR is frequently simplified and includes reduced costs for mediators or arbitrators.

Saving time

Legal proceedings can be drawn out for extended periods of months or even years. ADR provides a quicker solution. Mediation and arbitration sessions can be arranged promptly, with agreements reached within a few weeks or months. This helps both parties save time and progress more swiftly.

Maintaining Relationships

Legal disputes can create conflict and strain relationships between those involved. ADR promotes a collaborative setting for both parties to strive towards a solution they both agree on. This is especially advantageous when there is a need to sustain an ongoing business relationship or personal connection.

Enhanced Authority

The ultimate decision is made by a judge in the courtroom. ADR gives the parties in the dispute more authority over the result. By mediating, they are able to collaborate in creating a resolution that meets their individual requirements and desires.

Confidentiality is not usually maintained in court proceedings as they are generally part of public record. ADR, conversely, is private. This gives parties the opportunity to freely talk about confidential information without worrying about negative public attention or harm to their image.

Conclusion

We hope that you have found valuable guidance and support for your journey in this latest edition of Stay Informed: The Divorce Solutionist Newsletter. Keep in mind, divorce is a tough phase, yet with understanding and support, it can also be a chance for personal development and fresh starts. Keep in touch with us for future editions where we will delve into important subjects like legal concerns, mental health, co-parenting approaches, financial preparation, and others. We aim to give you the tools and information necessary to confidently and clearly navigate through divorce.

We appreciate your participation in our community that is committed to helping people during this challenging time of change. “Stay Informed” is available to offer support and guidance to help you flourish after divorce, whether you need practical tips or emotional reassurance. Sign up now to keep updated and connected with our expanding group of divorce experts.

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How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court

How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court

Today, we’re diving into an all too important and often complicated topic: navigating the twists and turns of family court to beat your opponent. Whether you’re representing yourself or you’ve got an attorney by your side, using the right tactics to execute a keen strategy is non-negotiable if you want to get custody of your child(ren). So, let’s strategize together on preparing to win custody.

Coming Up with a Gameplan in Family Court

Strategy is the foundation of any custody or divorce case in Family Court. It’s not the law or procedure that gets people what they want, or even close to what they’re seeking, it’s strategy. Having a well-thought-out gameplan serves so many purposes, especially in a place like family court where anything goes. You can have a gameplan but if you don’t have the specific tasks to achieve your goals then you’re wasting your time. Being ready for the unexpected, having a backup plan for the letdowns, and staying on course when things get tough are all good reasons to have one. 

Using the Right Tactics to Execute Strategy

First off, let me share with you the first step in coming up with tactics that will execute your solid gameplan for your family court case: take the time to journal your current situation. Be honest and open with yourself about every aspect of your current circumstances concerning your finances, your living situation, your health, etc. Jot down everything real and happening right now. Why? Because family courts are dynamic and what’s true today may not hold tomorrow but you need to be prepared for it all. 

Next in your gameplan execution is: Understanding everything about your opponent including their motives and circumstances. It’s not just what you know about the other party from when you were together, it’s also identifying the key components of the other party’s case theory. You need to know their “real” motives, their case strengths and weaknesses as well as their current situation. Knowledge is power here, folks. 

Once you’ve done that, or while you’re doing that, it’s time to conduct research and investigation to see what’s out there.  Research can help you make the best argument, make informed decisions, and position your custody or divorce case for the outcome you intend on getting. The information will help you get into the nooks and crannies of every step of the family court process, this helps increase your chances of success tenfold. You will need to find applicable court rules & laws, the background information on the key players (like the judges and lawyers), and any resources that might be available for family court litigants. Investigating is necessary to help back up everything you know about the key players as well as to find out what you don’t know about them.

Then after you’ve done your research and investigation you need to brainstorm, take everything you’ve learned and discovered, and figure out what to do with it. Do you use it now, hold it for the right time or not use it at all -these are all that you need to ponder. The key is to make use of it all the best way possible. Some things might not matter right now but might be critical later, and vice versa.

After all of this, it’s time to plot. Plotting takes planning and preparing to a whole other level. It’s not merely deciding what your next move should be. Plotting is basing your next move on what the other party’s next move will be. This is called “preemptive” moves, which are different from preventive ones. It’s not just anticipating their moves, it’s deciding what your next move should be based on what you anticipate they will do. You’re getting in front of anything they can possibly claim or defend.

I cannot stress enough the importance of strategy. Think of it this way: law might dictate 20% of your case, but your tactics can sway the remaining 80%. And remember, family court can sometimes be biased and often dismissive of what we consider ‘rights.’ Brace yourself for these challenges, and factor them into your game plan.

In building a strategy, assess your strengths, weaknesses, threats, and the favorable factors at play. This isn’t simply about having resources but about thinking critically. It’s plotting—meticulous and calculated planning.

Tips to Employ Tactics

You can have a clear vision of what you want but be confused about how to get there. This happens more than you think. It’s paying attention to the details that are extremely critical to successfully executing any gameplan. These are some key things to keep in mind:

  1. Being organized can’t be optional. Create a prioritized plan, and then make a backup—because, let’s face it, life loves throwing curveballs, especially in family court. Consider the ‘best interest of the child’ factors critically, and always maximize your time and arguments in court.
  2. Skills and confidence could mean the edge you need, and these don’t always come from your attorney. They come from you, developing them rigorously.
  3. When presenting your case, think outside the box. Be creative, and resourceful, and always question with specific intent. Don’t ask something when you can answer it yourself. Pay attention to the details; that’s where the devil (and sometimes the angel) lies.
  4. Flexibility is key—I can’t emphasize that enough. Speak with goals in mind and be discreet about your intentions. In court, making the other person comfortable can be your stealth weapon; they listen better, understand better, and are more inclined to trust and believe you.
  5. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, don’t give too much away. Be mindful of the judge’s reactions, ask questions strategically, and always keep the oversharing in check.

 

In conclusion

Don’t destroy a perfectly good case by going to family court blind. You need to stop, plan/organize, and then take action…the “right” action though not just any action.

 

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Using Public Agencies Resources in Your Custody Battle

Agencies’ Resources in Family Court

Using Public Agencies’ Resources in Family Court

You absolutely need to use everything in your arsenal, or that’s at least available to you, if you have any chance of winning your custody or divorce case on your own. When I say on your own, I don’t mean literally. I mean if you are representing yourself, are pro se, then it is ever more important that you take advantage of all of the resources out there. Being pro se in Family Court is already very challenging, and can be more disastrous for your case, so you need to do what you can to minimize the obstacles from every direction.
Family Court is Smorgasbord

Look, let’s face it, Family Court is not your typical court. Not at, unlike most other courts, the Family Court encompasses the most sensitive topics regarding family, relationships, and parenting.  Some would go so far as to describe it as a confluence of a mental health facility, a social services agency, and a place for justice. And whether you agree or not, the reality is that Family Court is rarely ever solely about what’s being discussed in court. At the same time, since there’s always more going on than the obvious, there are typically several other resources or entities that can step in to diffuse most situations.

Being Preemptive in Family Court

Domestic violence (IPV), substance abuse, child abuse/neglect, mental health issues, and developmental issues are all prevalent in most, if not all, Family Court divorce or custody cases. Getting these issues addressed by the right authority can oftentimes minimize their impact on the court experience. It is best to not only take preventative measures whenever possible, but there at times when it’s best to take preemptive ones instead. This means preparing for the attack before the actual attack occurs. So, for instance, if you know that the other party or opposing counsel will raise issues of allegations of abuse, you would find out every procedure, program, etc. that would address the abuse. How you would use the insight will depend on the nature of the allegations, the extent to which they will play a role in your case and the possible outcomes.

Tips for Utilizing Agencies in your Divorce or Custody Case

When navigating a custody case, social service and public agencies can provide valuable support and resources. Here’s how you can effectively utilize them:

  1. Research relevant and applicable agencies: Almost any of the issues that are prevalent in Family Court have a corresponding agency that acts as a gatekeeper, monitor, or rehabilitative resource. Start by identifying the agencies that deal with these. Familiarize yourself with their roles, responsibilities, and services offered.
  1. Understand their processes: Learn about the specific processes and procedures followed by each agency. Always start by going to their website, where information about their structure, mission, procedure, etc. can be found. Then see if they hold public meetings, have information sessions, etc. so that you can establish contact with a person on staff.
  1. Make direct contact: It’s always ideal to have direct contact, via phone or email, where you can ask a staff person specific questions that can help you in your case or defend yourself in the case. You don’t need to divulge any sensitive information. In fact, it is advisable to be very careful that you don’t share particular issues of danger to mandated reporters, where you can be implicated unless you are prepared to present your defense. Consult with a family law attorney to understand the best approach for involving public agencies in your particular custody case. They can guide you through the legal aspects and help you navigate the specific requirements and protocols.
  1. Use the information in your case in court or as part of negotiations: Once you know how the agency works, what the criteria are, what they offer, etc. you can use it in your case no matter what position you’re in with respect to it. That means you can use it to work on your case’s weaknesses, use it to request appropriate services for the other party, or use it to get the help you need for your child(ren).
  1. Collaborate with professionals: Public agencies often work closely with professionals such as social workers, counselors, evaluators, GALs and lawyers. Be cooperative and open to their involvement, as their assessments and recommendations can influence the outcome of your case. Provide them with any relevant information or evidence that can support your position.
  1. Take advantage of any rehabilitative programs offered: Lots of these agencies have preventive classes, workshops, etc. offered for free or reduced costs. Things like parent education, sobriety programs, etc. are usually topics covered.
  1. Maintain documentation: Keep detailed records of all interactions, communications, and documents exchanged with the public agencies involved in your case. These records can serve as valuable evidence and help ensure that your concerns and actions are accurately documented.
  1. Follow up and stay informed: Stay engaged in the process by regularly communicating with the agency and using what you’ve learned or worked on to your benefit.
In Conclusion

Remember, every jurisdiction might have different processes and guidelines regarding the involvement of social services and public agencies in divorce or custody cases. Not to mention, judges are not too fond of litigants abusing or misappropriating these agencies’ resources. However, they can certainly defer to any recommendations, commendations, etc. made by these agencies and rely on them to help make sound rulings.


If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

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Use Your Appearances as Part of Your Strategy, Part Two: The Family Court Status Conference

Last week I started a 3-part series on incorporating strategy in Family Court appearances. The goal is to show you how having a solid game plan enables you to position your case advantageously. Last week I focused on the first court appearance in custody or divorce, the Initial Conference. This week’s focus is on using the Family Court appearance that follows the Initial Conference, the Family Court Status Conference as part of creating your strategy.

What the Family Court Appearance Status Conference Is

A status conference, in divorce or custody, gives the parties the chance to update the court on what has occurred since additional documents have been filed, to follow up on how temporary orders are working, or to check-in whether certain conditions have been met. The court will want to know how things have been going with respect to visitation to see if things can be resolved without a trial. If at the last court appearance either of the parties was self-represented, the court will want to know if that party(ies) hired a lawyer.

If the judge ordered certain procedural things, like a drug/alcohol screening, a mental health evaluation, or a home investigation, it would follow up with whether those things have been done. Also, if a GAL has been appointed, then the court will want to know the status.

The Goal of the Family Court Status Conference

Family Court, like most other courts, has an interest in saving time and resources. This means that the judge will always aim to get the parties to settle their case.  Family Court appearance Status Conference in custody or divorce is slightly different than the Initial Conference. The court’s hope is that by employing the tactics or measures mentioned above, they will flush out the perceived issues from the real ones. A custodial parent who insists that the noncustodial parent is incapable of taking care of their child for more than a few hours may realize that that’s not a real concern. The court will examine resolution tactics outside of a trial, like mediation. If the court decides on an alternative dispute resolution, it will set dates for the parties to adhere to.

A Discovery plan might also be discussed at a status conference. This usually entails setting rules & restrictions on Discovery as well as a timeline for the exchange of Discovery.

The last major thing to be addressed in a status conference is overall scheduling. In addition to setting dates for mediation and Discovery, the court will also set a deadline for any motions or amendments to petitions. In addition, the court might establish a pretrial conference date and a trial date.

The process for the status conference might differ when both parties and one party is self-represented. The court will try to encourage pro se litigants to get an attorney at this stage of the case with the thinking that they’d be more inclined to settle.

Using this Family Court Status Conference Strategically

This is the time to use what you have gathered outside of the courtroom, because of the court’s directions, to your advantage. In other words, the orders the court issued, the procedures the judge directed, etc. all offer you vantage points that didn’t exist before. You might have had suspicions about some issues that question the other party’s “fitness” as a parent. Or questions about the safety conditions of the other party’s home. Or speculation about the mental or physical health of the other parent. Either way, the status conference is the ideal time to gauge the court’s position on these specific issues. If, for instance, you mentioned your concern about drug abuse and the judge ordered drug screenings, then this shows that the judge takes this issue seriously. How many times have you raised concerns in court that were dismissed by the judge, often I bet? But if the judge thinks the issue, you raise has some semblance of merit, they will respond accordingly.

The other strategic way to use the Status Conference is by incorporating the information you acquired to help you decide if you should settle or proceed to trial. At this stage of your case, there have been several discussions about settling at least a portion of your case. However, having the results of tests or investigations only helps you to make a much more informed decision when it comes to negotiations.

And last, if you are pro se (self-represented) you can learn a lot about the court process, the laws, and the local procedures at the status conference. You should always be on full alert, listening, watching, and taking mental notes.

In Conclusion

Every stage of your case offers some advantage as it progresses along. You might see going to court as a war zone, triggering all sorts of emotion, while I see it as an opportunity. Any time you are in an environment where you can learn the opposing party’s objective, you should see it as a potential advantage.

My new Pro Se Family Court Membership Program is the perfect solution to your custody or divorce situation.  Having a solid game plan that focuses on using strategy can make or break your case.  Interested in the details? Check here.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Use Your Family Court Appearances as Part of Your Strategy, Part One: The Initial Conference

Once a divorce or custody case starts in Family Court there is usually a process in court. Unless the parties agree and filing the papers is just a formality, every case is set to proceed down the same path. The objective of that path is to facilitate the process by identifying issues, resolving issues, and getting a final determination. Each stage of the case has a specific goal and serves an exact purpose. To litigants, this process can seem confusing, unnecessary, and at times, prejudicial. But the process can be used to your advantage as a litigant if you would keep several things in mind. Strategy entails gathering information whenever and however you can, the court appearances are ideal in that sense.

The Initial Appearance

The Initial Conference itself is usually a brief meeting. Although all parties are required to appear, the way you appear is up to the court (via phone, video, or in-person.)

A final determination of anything asked for in the petition or motion is unlikely unless the parties agree to it. However, there are instances where temporary orders are issued depending on the parties’ requests, the immediate need, etc.

The Initial Conference is your first opportunity to gauge what the “real” issues of the case are. When crafting your strategic game plan, one of the principal elements is that you gain an understanding of where the opposing party stands. What this means, is that you need to know what their strengths and weaknesses are. You might think you know what they are, but you will get confirmation at the initial conference. The judge will want to know what the issues are and will more than likely, give some hints as to which issues are “real” issues.

In addition, the Initial Conference is your chance to familiarize yourself with the court process, the key players, and the judge’s demeanor. These are all key elements to focus on when creating your game plan too. Your case is not just about the parties, the law, and/or the lawyers. There is an entire process that and that entire process has a significant impact on the outcome of your case.

And last, you are giving the court to make its impression of you. You get to determine that. So many people are intimidated by the court process when you get to dictate how it goes. You must learn to be calm, focused, and prepared as you only get one chance to make a first impression.

How to Prepare for the Initial Conference

Preparing for the Initial Conference efficiently is important. However, being intentional in how you prepare is critical to the strategy for your case. In other words, plot every step or tactic you intend to use at the actual conference. Review the opposing party’s petition or motion to look for key things to focus on. You want to focus on these specific things to watch for credibility in statements, to check for consistency throughout the process, and to make notes for Discovery requests.

Next, you want to do as much research as you can before the actual conference. Research the laws, the procedural rules, the attorneys, and the judge. You might not find exactly what you expect, but you should look to see what’s out there.

And last, you should have a set of questions in your mind. You might get a chance to ask specific questions and that’s fine. But you should pay attention because although your questions might be unasked, you might still get answers to them.

After the Initial Conference

Once the conference is over, you should have a much clearer picture of what you need to do next. You should feel confident, determined, and empowered, not defeated. Remember, this is your opportunity to determine the direction you want your case to go in. Not let the antics of the opposing party distract or discourage you.

You should be able to fill in some key parts of your game plan.

In Conclusion

Too many litigants overlook the opportunities to take control of their case presented in the Initial Conference. They allow their emotions to take over and lose sight as a result. Every interaction, encounter, etc. is an opportunity to gain leverage. Take advantage of it.

 

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

 
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When Your Attorney Withdraws from Your Custody Case

I am always approached by individuals who are forced to be pro se because their attorney withdrew from the custody case. Attorneys usually withdraw for failure to pay, but also withdraw for other reasons that have nothing to do with money. A client that makes it impossible to represent them, who constantly refuses to cooperate, who habitually ignores court orders, etc. are all reasons attorneys can withdraw. No matter the reason, there are some things pro se litigants should keep in mind when they find themselves in this predicament.

Ethical Rules for Attorney Withdrawal

Most states have adopted some form of the American Bar Association’s Model Rules for the ethical practice of law. This means that every one of the fifty (50) states has its own set of rules that dictate how an attorney should behave professionally. One issue that is covered in all the states’ rules is the method attorneys must employ when they want to withdraw from representation. The ABA Model Rule (1.16(b)) states:

“a lawyer can withdraw from an engagement without cause only if it will not result in a material adverse effect on the client’s interest.”

This means that the lawyer must show “cause” for their withdrawal. In other words, they must have a “compelling reason” to be let out of your custody case.

Although states might differ on the language they use, there is a consensus on what constitutes a “compelling reason.”  It is NOT simply disagreeing on some issues in your custody case, although there are times when this is sufficient grounds. Compelling reasons are usually ones where the client is continuously involved or engaged in criminal activity. Other instances are where they fail to pay their fees or where a conflict of interest is present. These are just a few, the list of instances where withdrawal would be justified is long.

Mandatory withdrawal vs. Permissive Withdrawal

There is a difference between when an attorney can withdraw and when they must withdraw.

The instances where an attorney must withdraw are not as extensive as when they can. That is because the litigant’s right to have continued representation is paramount to an attorney’s desire to leave the case whenever they want.

Circumstances, when an attorney can withdraw, outnumber when they must because of the interests of the client. Lawyers are held to a standard that requires them to consider the legal harm in almost any situation.

Do not be fooled though, attorneys are very skilled at creating a scenario where must takes precedence, or a justified can more likely prevail.

Method for Withdrawing

In all cases, attorneys must follow a specific procedure when they seek to withdraw. No matter what, when, or why, there are procedural requirements in place for attorneys who opt to end their representation.

Most states have a formal requirement where the attorney must file a motion in court seeking the court’s permission. The specifics, however, with respect to the format, timing, in person or in writing argument may vary among the states.

Litigants have the option to object or oppose the attorney’s withdrawal, except where the client is the one requesting the withdrawal. If they can prove that there is undue prejudice or harm to their case that will result from the withdrawal, then they have a chance.

In Family Court, the standard of proof is “preponderance of evidence” which means that a party must provide evidence of at least a 50% value to support its argument. But when it comes to an attorney seeking withdrawal, this standard is automatically shifted to less than 50%.

Client’s Course of Action Upon Withdrawal

What are your options if this is your current predicament? Should you object, or should you consent, or something else? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. But more importantly, should you or could you do anything to prevent this from happening in the first place.

Your options are to let the attorney go; try to compromise or settle your issues or flat out dispute they’re trying to withdraw. If you let them go then you are forced to either hire another lawyer or represent yourself. When you do this, you are more likely to have fewer headaches dealing with the court. The court would much rather you concede than have you fight to keep an attorney that does not believe they can or should continue. If, however, you choose to try to settle your differences, the attorney will have the discretion to choose if they will continue and to set the conditions for doing so. And last, if you choose to fight the withdrawal, chances are you are going to create more problems for yourself, with the lawyer and the court.

Tips to Avoid Attorney Withdrawals

You can try your hardest to prevent the attorney’s withdrawal, which is always an option. This starts with having a clear understanding of your financial means before hiring them. You should not rush to hire an attorney when you have no reliable means to pay them to manage the entire case. I see people get desperate and hire a lawyer just because they think they should. This is a setup for disastrous consequences.

Another way to avoid involuntary withdrawal is to have an express understanding of what your responsibilities are as a client. From the moment you sign the Retainer Agreement, you should be aware of all that is expected from you. At the same time, your attorney should explain to you in detail everything you can expect from them.  You can also learn tips to work with them more effectively.

And last, you should always keep the lines of communication open. I know that most litigants’ major complaint about their attorney is their lack of communication. However, this does not release you of the obligation to facilitate discussions about your concerns, your questions, etc. with them.

Although being pro se is not the worst situation you can find yourself in, it is not the only option or best option for everyone. (Read more here on being pro se in Family Court.)

In Conclusion

At the end of the day, an attorney who does not want to collaborate with you anymore knows how to get out of your case. Even with the rules set to favor you as the client, the courts are not inclined to force continued representation.

 

 

Want to work with Tracey Bee on your pro se divorce or custody case?

Feel free to explore our options to help you get the results you want in your Family Court case here. 

 

If you want to listen to discussions on Family Court and strategy, catch the latest episodes of “Self-Representing in Family Court” here. 

Related Tag: Unmarried Mother Custody

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Choosing the Right Family Court Documents in Custody

I recently noticed that many Family Court litigants are clueless about filing and using the correct documents in their custody cases. There are different documents for diverse types of cases of course. But there are times when it is not just the type of case that matters, it is its purpose. There are petitions, complaints, responses, objections, oppositions, motions, show causes, cross-motions, cross-petition, and counterclaims. So, let’s discuss all family court documents in custody:

Type of Family Court Case

In Family Court, custody cases can go on forever.  In fact, they typically do.  If you are in court on custody once, you can almost bet on being back over the course of your child’s life until the age of majority.  So, there is a difference, for example, in an initial case for Custody or Visitation and a Modification or Contempt case. The difference affects how the case will proceed, which rules apply and how they apply.  So, an initial custody case might consist of the initial Complaint and maybe a Cross-Complaint as far as documents (pleadings). This is so because the parties are only trying to establish some sort of guidelines or parameters to co-parent.  It is not uncommon that the parties are unaware of all the issues that may become an issue later.

Strategic Plan in Divorce or Custody

Purpose of Family Court Documents in Custody

The other issue is what your objective is in the case.  If you are seeking to shed light on the lies, deception, and false statements, then you might need to file a Response or Opposition. If your intentions are to present your own version of the circumstances, then you might want to file a Cross-Petition or Cross-Motion.  But even further, if you have your own separate demands, then you should most certainly file a Cross-Motion or Cross-Petition in the custody or visitation case.

The document you file will still depend on the type of case, but your purpose for the document is important.

Procedure for Documents

Every single state has its own set of procedural rules when it comes to drafting, filing, and serving custody or visitation documents. They also have specific time frames and deadlines within which specific documents need to be filed. This is extremely important to know because it can affect how you choose to proceed. If you realize at some point in your case, that you should file a Cross-Petition what are your options?

Well, that depends on the point in which you realized it. Can you file a Cross-Petition at the time the case is scheduled for a hearing? If not, what can you do instead? These are all particularly important to know as you navigate your way through your case. You might not be able to, but you can ask for the court’s permission to file an Objection or Opposition. Or maybe you can get the court’s permission to extend the time for hearing/trial until you are able to have your Cross-Petition added to the court’s docket. The way you proceed is dictated by your court’s procedural rules as well as its administrative process.

How it All Comes into Play?

For those of you who do not know, my focus is always on the strategic aspect of custody cases.  My unique approach takes a bird’s eye view of each case and produces a precise plan to help litigants reach their goals.  This means that each of the elements I discussed above plays an important role.  Timing, wording, positioning, etc. all these interplay in how a case should be presented for court success.  So sometimes you might have missed a document filing deadline, but might be able to get on your side of the story another way. Therefore, it is critical to have these concepts in mind the moment you see yourself headed down this path.

In Conclusion

It is extremely important that you are aware of your local court procedures, how to navigate your way around the court (and the website), and that you learn the different forms and their use.  This knowledge can impact the overall outcome of your custody case.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Pandemic Parenting: Covid Impacts on Co-parenting, Custody, Visitation

So many people have been asking about pandemic parenting, co-parenting, custody, or visitation.  The real issues arise when one of the parties, or child, comes up with a positive test result.  Up until recently the thought of positive test results for many, especially children, was illusive.  But now with these new variants, that’s more of the reality for many.  Regardless, these times we are currently experiencing can’t compare to any other such time in our living history.  So the courts, like its constituents, are still trying to make sense of all of it.  Things like, to vaccinate or not vaccinate, to allow virtual school or in-school sessions, to enforce visits or suspend them…are all examples of issues plaguing the Family Court Law.

Pandemic Parenting

Pro-vaccination vs Anti-vaccination Parents

It is no secret that most judges are very conventional in their view on vaccinations, the Covid vaccination is no different.  So in the past when a Family Court judge was presented with the issue of whether a minor child should be vaccinated when one of the parents opposed, the outcome was almost always predictable.  Judges would almost always override the opposing parent’s authority by ordering that the child gets a vaccination, except in rare instances. The reason judges have always been mostly pro-vaccination is that they relied on science, data & statistics to support their position.  The only exception was when the child’s treating doctors recommended against the vaccinations for medical reasons. Even then, the level of scrutiny was always above the norm.  Judges are almost in agreement that Covid vaccinations are the safest bet for all involved.

Virtual School vs. In School Session

This issue is a new phenomenon to some degree.  If either parent has sole legal custody, then this is not an issue, that parent gets to decide.  The only exception is if the other parent seeks to change or modify the sole legal custody order. In that case, the issue of in-school vs. virtual can actually serve as the basis for the modification. In the past, the issue that most resembled this one was homeschool vs. in school.  The courts in those cases were inclined to rule in favor of in school.  This started to change in the past few years when homeschooling became a viable option.  When the data showed that homeschooled children were actually doing better academically it became easier to influence the courts.

However, the issue with Covid is a little different.  Academics is not really the focus in these pandemic times, it’s about safety.  This makes this issue very tricky because it’s not necessarily the safety of the target child but of the entire school population.  Judges are forced to consider whether the parent’s “right” to send the child to school should be trumped by the safety of the public (school). Although judges are still obligated to apply the best interests factors (which vary from state to state) to help it make its determination.   But even with that in mind, they can’t ignore their duty to keep the public’s safety in mind even if they don’t state it.

Covid Positive: Suspend Visits vs. Enforce Visits

This is where things get very volatile.  If a parent (or their paramour) or a child tests positive, should the child stay where they are, return home, or do something else.  Better yet, what happens if the child is in a blended family and one of its members tests positive, how should visits happen then?  These are all very likely scenarios and have been happening a lot.  The courts are all over the place with this issue.  In New York, for instance, the courts are ordering that custody orders be exercised no matter what anyone’s (or their family members’) Covid status is.  This means that if the child has Covid or the parent who is supposed to have visited has it, the visits are to happen regardless.

The other scenario is whether a positive child who was exercising visits with a non-custodial parent should return to their home. Either way, the rationale is that both parents still have rights to their time with the child.  The courts have always taken the position that parents can take care of their sick child during their respective visitation times.  And them testing positive for Covid doesn’t change that.

The CDC, on the other hand, suggests quarantining and so are doctors who are treating the Covid positive parent/child.  They are recommending that the child not expose anyone else to the virus by leaving their environment.  So who should influence the judge more, the rights of the parents or the medical community? This is not really a “best interests” issue, as much as it is a public safety issue.  The child’s well-being might be affected if visits are suspended because of either way someone is missing out on their time.  But the time can be made up once the positively tested party is cleared.

Theory vs. Practice

In a practical sense, the only issue that might be worth going to court over is school.  In theory, to vaccinate or not to vaccinate is disputable. But what if the other parent gets the child vaccinated before court involvement?  You can’t unring a bell, meaning you can’t unvaccinated the child. So the issue then becomes one of Contempt.

The same with the visits, if the disputing parent decides to proceed to court it might be too late.  By the time the case gets in front of a judge, the visiting time has already passed.  So, again, the issue presented to the court would be about Contempt, Modification, or both. Either parent can conceivably seek to modify a current custody order based on how this issue was handled. The way the other parent exercised judgment, for example, deciding to ignore the doctor’s recommendations, can be considered in a modification case.

The school issue, on the other hand, is always a relevant one.  It’s the only one of these issues that can change at any time.  So, in other words, it hardly ever becomes a moot issue.  The judge’s decision has the propensity to take into account things that might happen in the future.  So it’s best to get the court involved at any time when Covid, or any other issue, has a direct impact on academic performance.

Final Thoughts on Pandemic Parenting

The courts are still all over the place on some pandemic parenting and other pandemic-related issues.  So I strongly urge Family Court parties to get a consultation from a local family law Attorney Family Court.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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