The Diavorce Solutionist

Making Strategic Decisions Based on the Phase of Your Family Court Case

There’s little disagreement amongst Family Court litigants that the Family Court cycle can seem neverending. If you ask most people going through the process, they will tell you that things seem to all morph into one big catastrophe. However, this is not completely accurate. The typical divorce or custody case goes through stages or phases while it moves through Family Court.  Identifying each of these stages can be challenging, especially if you’re the one enduring the torment that’s usually associated with it. 

But not only are there different phases of a typical divorce or custody case, the issues also vary based on the phase they’re in.  The parties’ issues might remain steady, but there are different parts of the court process that require a different type of attention at each stage. This means that as a litigant, you need to strategize differently based on the stage your case is in. 

We have identified each phase by referring to them as “lanes”.  There are four lanes on the superhighway to Family Court hell. They all lead to the same place but the bumps (challenges), the route (action), and the directions (decisions) all vary based on the specific lane(s) your case is in.  Although your case can be in two lanes at once, it is advisable to limit them to two.

Explanation of the Various Phases (Lanes)

Every Family Court starts with a choice or decision (Lane 1) stemming from an action or series of actions by either party. Once either, or both, parties choose to go the Family Court route, their freedom to choose much of what happens throughout the process gets limited. The court will take over and implement rules and guidelines on how the case will proceed (Lane 2). Then at some point, the court will seem to be apathetic while still dictating how things proceed, leaving many to question why they decided to get court involved in the first place (Lane 3). And last, your case will make it to the “finish” line (Lane 4), if there is every truly a finish line, you get to “reclaim” some of the control by opting to take your case to trial. 

Lane One: Decision Time, the Beginning of Your Family Court Experience

As mentioned, Lane 1 is the beginning. Either party is gearing up;  gathering info and resources and putting things together with the intention of getting help with their divorce or custody. At this stage, things like timing, logistics, resources and personal circumstances are are crucial. Knowing when to file your case, jurisdiction considerations, and wording your petitions are all pivotal. Understanding court processes, connecting with resources, and identifying helpful information early can give you a significant advantage as you lay the groundwork for your case.

Lane Two: Filing and Interaction, Getting the Ball Rolling in Family Court

Lane 2, considerations are a bit different in the sense that once the case has started, some foundational things will remain intact no matter what. The court process is already set so deviating from some parts of it are more difficult to do at this stage. Things like identifying the problems or issues, the “real” ones, are extremely key at this stage. In addition, understanding what leverage is and identifying your leverage as well as the other party’s is also very important.  This is also the phase where you begin to focus on creating a solid game plan, like making strategic choices about when to interact and engage with the opposing party, the court, and the mediators.

Lane Three: Positioning for the Future, In the Thick of Things in Your Divorce or Custody

If your case made it past the six-month mark, it didn’t settle, or wasn’t resolved in mediation, then chances are you’re headed to Lane 3. By this time, you should have amassed a wealth of resources and built a deep understanding of your case. No more walking around with your head in the clouds, you’re starting to see Family Court for what it really is. You see that judges can be completely biased, the laws are not always applied correctly, that lawyers get away with acting unethically and you’re exasperated by the ugly truth. This time is pivotal, because since it wasn’t settled before now, chances are your case is going to trial. That means that frustration is at an all-time high followed by immense fear.  No one wants to hear the big “t” word because thoughts of excessive fees, feelings of uncertainty, and visions of seeing your child(ren) living with the other parent are involved with trial. But this is the time to shift your focus to prepping for the opportunity to finally present all of the improprieties that occurred in your case, in one setting.  

Lane Four: Gearing Up for Your Family Court Trial or Appeal

And at last, if you’re in Lane 4 you made it to the “finish” line. This is the moment you have been waiting for, although you didn’t know it, the moment to finally tell your story.  You get to speak and not be ignored; you get to point out all the lies the other party has been telling that you didn’t get a chance to prove; you get to call the guardian ad litem out for their unprofessional way of handling their responsibilities and so on.  And although you are scared out of your mind, this is the time to bring it all home. Win or lose, this is the time to seek vindication and to make peace with everything that has haunted you throughout the process. Knowing your key players and leveraging the knowledge gained throughout the previous stages is crucial. You must meticulously plot out how to use the information and resources built up over time to strategically navigate the trial phase and secure a favorable outcome.

Final Thoughts

Navigating the family court system can be overwhelming, but with the right strategies, you can take control, set the tone, and position yourself for success. Remember, everything you do at each stage has an impact on your case’s future, so strategic thinking and proactive planning are essential.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court

How to Use Tactics to “Beat” the Other Parent in Family Court beat other party in family court

Today, we’re diving into an all too important and often complicated topic: navigating the twists and turns of family court to beat your opponent. Whether you’re representing yourself or you’ve got an attorney by your side, using the right tactics to execute a keen strategy is non-negotiable if you want to get custody of your child(ren). So, let’s strategize together on preparing to win custody.

Coming Up with a Gameplan in Family Court

Strategy is the foundation of any custody or divorce case in Family Court. It’s not the law or procedure that gets people what they want, or even close to what they’re seeking, it’s strategy. Having a well-thought-out gameplan serves so many purposes, especially in a place like family court where anything goes. You can have a gameplan but if you don’t have the specific tasks to achieve your goals then you’re wasting your time. Being ready for the unexpected, having a backup plan for the letdowns, and staying on course when things get tough are all good reasons to have one. 

Using the Right Tactics to Execute Strategy

First off, let me share with you the first step in coming up with tactics that will execute your solid gameplan for your family court case: take the time to journal your current situation. Be honest and open with yourself about every aspect of your current circumstances concerning your finances, your living situation, your health, etc. Jot down everything real and happening right now. Why? Because family courts are dynamic and what’s true today may not hold tomorrow but you need to be prepared for it all. 

Next in your gameplan execution is: Understanding everything about your opponent including their motives and circumstances. It’s not just what you know about the other party from when you were together, it’s also identifying the key components of the other party’s case theory. You need to know their “real” motives, their case strengths and weaknesses as well as their current situation. Knowledge is power here, folks. 

Once you’ve done that, or while you’re doing that, it’s time to conduct research and investigation to see what’s out there.  Research can help you make the best argument, make informed decisions, and position your custody or divorce case for the outcome you intend on getting. The information will help you get into the nooks and crannies of every step of the family court process, this helps increase your chances of success tenfold. You will need to find applicable court rules & laws, the background information on the key players (like the judges and lawyers), and any resources that might be available for family court litigants. Investigating is necessary to help back up everything you know about the key players as well as to find out what you don’t know about them.

Then after you’ve done your research and investigation you need to brainstorm, take everything you’ve learned and discovered, and figure out what to do with it. Do you use it now, hold it for the right time or not use it at all -these are all that you need to ponder. The key is to make use of it all the best way possible. Some things might not matter right now but might be critical later, and vice versa.

After all of this, it’s time to plot. Plotting takes planning and preparing to a whole other level. It’s not merely deciding what your next move should be. Plotting is basing your next move on what the other party’s next move will be. This is called “preemptive” moves, which are different from preventive ones. It’s not just anticipating their moves, it’s deciding what your next move should be based on what you anticipate they will do. You’re getting in front of anything they can possibly claim or defend.

I cannot stress enough the importance of strategy. Think of it this way: law might dictate 20% of your case, but your tactics can sway the remaining 80%. And remember, family court can sometimes be biased and often dismissive of what we consider ‘rights.’ Brace yourself for these challenges, and factor them into your game plan.

In building a strategy, assess your strengths, weaknesses, threats, and the favorable factors at play. This isn’t simply about having resources but about thinking critically. It’s plotting—meticulous and calculated planning.

Tips to Employ Tactics

You can have a clear vision of what you want but be confused about how to get there. This happens more than you think. It’s paying attention to the details that are extremely critical to successfully executing any gameplan. These are some key things to keep in mind:

  1. Being organized can’t be optional. Create a prioritized plan, and then make a backup—because, let’s face it, life loves throwing curveballs, especially in family court. Consider the ‘best interest of the child’ factors critically, and always maximize your time and arguments in court.
  2. Skills and confidence could mean the edge you need, and these don’t always come from your attorney. They come from you, developing them rigorously.
  3. When presenting your case, think outside the box. Be creative, and resourceful, and always question with specific intent. Don’t ask something when you can answer it yourself. Pay attention to the details; that’s where the devil (and sometimes the angel) lies.
  4. Flexibility is key—I can’t emphasize that enough. Speak with goals in mind and be discreet about your intentions. In court, making the other person comfortable can be your stealth weapon; they listen better, understand better, and are more inclined to trust and believe you.
  5. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, don’t give too much away. Be mindful of the judge’s reactions, ask questions strategically, and always keep the oversharing in check.

In conclusion

Don’t destroy a perfectly good case by going to family court blind. You need to stop, plan/organize, and then take action…the “right” action though not just any action.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

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Strategic Use of Discovery in Family Court

The Discovery stage of a case is a critical part of every divorce or custody case. It is the time when you can request information, i.e. documents, items, etc., from the other party (and non-parties too in some instances) that will help you to prove your case or defend the case against you. However, self-represented litigants tend to overlook the importance of the Discovery stage and miss out on the opportunity to present their strongest case. The rules for Discovery vary based on your jurisdiction (by state but sometimes even by county) but can be found and easily accessed on the internet or in the court’s library.

The trick to doing Discovery, though, is to understand how to use it strategically. Although the underlying goal should be to freely exchange information between parties, each party should map out a specific plan as to how they will use the process in their case. This means looking at the issues in dispute, the ones not in dispute might not warrant any special attention in the Discovery stage, to determine what information is needed from the other party. For example, if your case involves allegations of abuse and the other party has been interviewed or arrested for these allegations, you might want to serve them with Special Interrogatories as opposed to general Interrogatories.

Purpose of Discovery in Family Court:

Discovery is primarily meant to make the exchange of evidence between the parties open and voluntary. The underlying principle is that each party deserves the opportunity to prepare in advance for what will be revealed or addressed at trial. Each party should be made aware of the evidence the other party plans to use against them as much as the evidence they plan to use to support their own case. Unlike what you see on television, surprise witnesses or surprise evidence is generally not allowed in Family Court (or any court for that matter.)

Not to mention, the courts always have an interest in getting the parties to resolve their case on their own. The best way to do this is by facilitating the exchange of evidence amongst the parties so that they are better prepared to negotiate settlement. So if you have a divorce case, having the other party’s financial information is necessary in order to come to a settlement that both parties can live with. In custody cases, having pictures, phone records, etc. from the other party can help them come up with a custody agreement that is amenable to the child(ren)’s best interests.

Common Types of Discovery Used in Family Court:

Although Discovery is somewhat of a “free for all” when it comes to requesting evidence from the other party, some forms of Discovery are prohibited or restricted in Family Court. For instance, in some jurisdictions, child support matters are precluded from engaging in the Discovery process. The main reason is because child support cases are generally seen as administrative, and therefore don’t really require anything more than the parties providing copies of their paystubs and tax returns.

But in divorce and custody, the limitations on the use of Discovery generally applies to the time when they can be used, the stage of the case they are to be employed and certain other conditions. These limitation vary from state to state.

The most common types of Discovery used in Family Court though are:

Deposition: Depositions can be one of the most effective tools to use in your divorce or custody case. It’s like a trial run of you questioning the other party, and non-party witnesses too. This can be incredibly important if you plan on doing the questioning yourself. In addition, it’s your opportunity to get some extremely valuable information from the witnesses, that might lead to further Discovery. Depositions are taken under oath and can be used at the actual trial (either to impeach, refresh recollection or in lieu of testimony). And last, although a deposition is an efficient way to get information it can be quite expensive and cumbersome to arrange as a selr-represented litigant.

Interrogatories: There are two types of interrogatories: form interrogatories and special interrogatories. Form (your court usually has generic forms/templates) interrogatories are standardized questions that request general answers from the other party. Special interrogatories, on the other hand, are individually crafted questions based on the issues raised by the other party that the requesting party wants more detailed information about. For the most part, the former usually has no limits but the latter one does. Special interrogatories is a great way to get the other party to substantiate unfounded claims or to force them to zoom in on broad allegations. Interrogatories are an inexpensive tool compared to depositions, but it can take longer for the other party to provide suitable answers. Also, interrogatories do not allow for an easy opportunity to ask follow up questions (this is different than following up by asking the other party to provide more complete answers.)

Demand for Production of Documents: A demand for production of documents can be sent to the other party and will require them to provide the specific documents requested. Things such as bank statements, tax returns, phone records, photos, social media account, etc.

Request for Admissions: As a self-represented litigant you may serve on the other party a written request to admit the truth of any matters relating to: (1) facts, the application of law to fact, or opinions about either and (2) the genuineness of any described documents.

Misusing Discovery & the Consequences in Family Court:

Every state has rules with respect to how Discovery is to be used to avoid abuse, misuse or overuse (particularly when used to delay proceedings). As a self-represented litigant, it is imperative that you understand how to avoid these and how to identify it when opposing counsel attempts to abuse the use. Discovery is not usually overseen by the court, meaning the parties send the requests and responses directly to each other not the court (except in some circumstances). If either party feels that they are being unnecessarily harassed, embarrassed or forced to spend an unreasonable amount of time or money they have options.

The first one is to object. Each of the Discovery tools mentioned has a mechanism to object to the information being requested. The basis for the objections needs to meet the criteria for objections in your specific jurisdiction but that is an option.

The next one is to file a motion with the court. The objecting party can either file its own motion or wait until the requesting files one. Either way, the court will decide from there if the demands are reasonable.

And last, as self-represented, you have the option to merely serve the exact same demands on the other party. This is an unconventional option and usually requires that you take into consideration the same rules that you are claiming apply.

What happens as a result of your choosing to use any of these options varies from nothing to sanctions being imposed to evidence being precluded from use at trial. So, if a party expects that the other party is abusing the process and can substantiate it, the court will look at how it prejudices their case. The court will also consider its own agenda and how the consequences will impact on its goals as a tribunal. However, in most instances as a self-represented litigant it is more unlikely that you would get the outcome you want as someone represented by an attorney would.

In Conclusion

The Discovery process should be well planned out and used strategically, especially as a self-represented litigant in Family Court. It is your obligation to understand the rules, the uses and the practical implications for your case in every instance.

Top of Form If you would like to purchase our Discovery Plan Guide & Worksheet feel free to check out The Divorce Solutionist store.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

Navigating As Unmarried Parent in Custody Battles: Your Guide to Success

Divorce and custody battles are emotionally charged experiences that more and more individuals find themselves facing. However, when it comes to unmarried couples with children, the situation can become even more complex.

Unmarried custody disputes can be equally challenging, and the stakes are just as high for parents who are no longer together. In these situations, when you are self-represented having a Family Court Strategist and Pro Se Advocate on your side can make all the difference in ensuring the best outcome for you and your children.

Understanding Unmarried Custody

Unmarried custody refers to situations where parents who were never married must determine legal custody, physical custody, visitation rights, and child support arrangements. The issues that come are have to do with establishing paternity, making a case for some of the Best Interests of the Child standards and navigating a coparenting relationship that doesn’t cause unnecessary stress. Add in the element of being pro se or handling the case on your own and that just makes things worse.

The Role of a Family Court Strategist

Unmarried couples who find themselves in a custody battle typically have a different level of resources than married couples do. And although resources are not the definitive factor in having the right representation or support, it helps in several instances. But there are options available no matter what size your wallet is and what time to explore those options than now.

A Family Court Strategist is a professional who specializes in navigating the complexities of family court proceedings for those who need the extra support. Although we center our services around pro se litigants, lawyer represented litigants also find value in working with a Family Court strategist. We are experts in understanding the legal nuances of child custody, support, and visitation rights, from a legal, logical and practical standpoint. Seeing things from all perspectives helps us to narrow on solutions specific to all aspects of your circumstances.

 Here’s how we can assist you:

1. Legal Expertise: A Family Court Strategist possesses in-depth knowledge of family law and court procedures regulations specific to your jurisdiction. We can guide you through the legal processes and ensure that you are well-prepared.

2. Strategic Planning: Crafting a strong case strategy is crucial in custody battles. Your strategist can help you develop a robust plan tailored to your unique circumstances, ensuring you present a compelling argument in court and that you position your case to get your desired outcome.

3. Documentation and Evidence: Gathering the right evidence and documentation is pivotal. Your strategist will help you compile the necessary paperwork, recordings, etc. and help make the most effective use of it.

4. Negotiation Support: In many cases, custody disputes can be resolved through negotiation rather than a lengthy court battle. A Family Court Strategist can facilitate these discussions, aiming for an amicable resolution that benefits both parents and, most importantly, the children involved.

Pro Se Advocacy in Unmarried Custody Cases

Pro se advocacy is not a widely used term in the family law field. And although it is something that deserves as much attention as any other issue in the field, it is very understated. It pretty much stresses the importance of your rights as a pro se litigant and how to ensure that the Family Court is rightly acknowledging those rights.

Most people have no idea that they have rights to represent themselves, particularly when the judge will tell you otherwise. But under the Constitution, as well as state laws, anyone has the right to pursue their custody or visitation rights case without the assistance of an attorney.  That’s what we do as your advocate. We help with things like:

1. Understanding How the U.S. Constitution Applies: A Pro Se Advocate will help you comprehend the relevant and applicable provisions of the Constitution and its impact on your rights as a litigant and parent.

2. Explain the Court Process: We help you navigate the court process, particularly your access to court systems, procedures, etc.

3. Discuss Courtroom Enforcement: We help you to develop a method for ensuring that the judge adheres to the canons of law that assure you of your rights to proceed pro se.

Challenges in Unmarried Parents Custody Battles

Unmarried custody battles come with a different set of challenges than custody battles where the parties were married.  Unlike divorce cases, where there is often a predefined legal framework for addressing custody, laws governing unmarried parents may not have clear guidelines in place. Here are some of the key challenges you might encounter:

1. Establishing Parental Rights: In unmarried custody cases, determining who has legal rights and responsibilities can be complicated. It’s crucial to establish paternity or maternity, as this forms the basis for custody decisions.

2. Child Support: Calculating child support in unmarried custody cases can be particularly contentious. Both parents must contribute to the financial support of their child, but when the parties factor in their own families and lifestyle obligations, things get more contentious.

3. Parental Rights: Unmarried fathers, in particular, may face challenges in asserting their parental rights. Establishing a legal relationship with the child often involves proving paternity, which can be a complex process.

4. Custody and Visitation: Determining the child’s living arrangements and visitation schedule can be contentious. Unmarried parents may have different views on what’s in the child’s best interest, leading to disputes.

Navigating the Emotional Aspect

Apart from the legal complexities, unmarried custody battles are emotionally draining for all parties involved, especially the children. Here are some emotional aspects to consider:

1. Impact on Children: Children can be deeply affected by custody battles. The stress, uncertainty, and potential conflict can take a toll on their emotional well-being. It’s essential to shield them from unnecessary disputes and prioritize their stability.

2. Co-Parenting Challenges: Unmarried parents often struggle with effective co-parenting, which can lead to further emotional strain. Utilizing the services of a Family Court Strategist or Pro Se Advocate can help in creating a co-parenting plan that works for both parties.

3. Managing Conflict: Emotions can run high during custody battles. Learning effective conflict resolution strategies and keeping the child’s best interests in mind can help minimize hostility and promote a healthier environment for everyone involved.

Conclusion: Unmarried custody battles are complex and emotionally charged, but with the right professional guidance, and a focus on the best interests of the child, you can navigate these challenges successfully. Remember that achieving a positive outcome in an unmarried custody case is not only about legal victory but also about providing a stable, nurturing environment for your children. Reach out to experienced experts in family law to guide you through this journey and prioritize your children’s well-being.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

Your Rights as Pro Se Litigant in Family Court

Your Rights as Pro Se Litigant in Family Court

It is a known fact that self-represented, or pro se, litigants have the hardest time in court. Especially in Family Court, judges and lawyers tend to treat pro se litigants unnecessarily unfairly, in a lot of cases anyway. Well, I don’t know if it’s that they are treated unfairly on purpose, but I do know that they don’t get the extra level of respect they get when they have lawyer representation.

Regardless though, every single person who finds themselves in a court case has rights. Whether those rights are acknowledged or even considered, depends on so many things.  Not that it’s right, but sometimes pro se litigants’ rights are often overlooked or trampled on, for various reasons.  Before I get into those reasons, I wanted to take the time to list these rights. 

Your Rights as You Represent Yourself

Here are some key rights and considerations for pro se litigants in family court:

  1. Right to Self-Representation: In most jurisdictions, you have the right to represent yourself in Family Court. Whether it’s referred to as pro se, pro per or something else the court is obligated to allow you to do this.

  2. Right to Access the Court: You have the right to access the court, regardless of status, ability, etc., and have your case heard by a judge (commissioner, ), just like any other litigant.

  3. Right to a Fair Hearing: You have the right to a fair and impartial hearing. This means that the court should not discriminate against you because you are representing yourself and should not treat the other party any differently because they are lawyer-represented.

  4. Right to Due Process: You are entitled to due process, due process refers to fair procedures. This includes the right to receive notice of hearings, the opportunity to present evidence, the right to cross-examine witnesses, and the right to make legal arguments in court.

  5. Right to Privacy: Your personal information and court records are generally protected by privacy laws. However, some information may be accessible to the opposing party or the public, depending on court rules and procedures.

  6. Right to Information including Laws and Court Procedures: While you cannot have an attorney represent you, you can seek assistance from court staff, self-help centers, or legal aid organizations that may provide guidance on court procedures and forms.

  7. Right to Object and Appeal: You have the right to object to evidence, procedures, or rulings that you believe are unfair or incorrect. If you disagree with the court’s decision, you may have the right to appeal the decision to a higher court.

  8. Right to Be Informed: You should familiarize yourself with the court’s rules and procedures, as well as the specific laws governing family court matters in your jurisdiction. Ignorance of the law is generally not an excuse nor does it serve your interests in any way.

  9. Right to Prepare and Present Evidence: You have the right to gather evidence (with the court’s help even), to subpoena witnesses (again the court can assist in this effort), and to present your case to the trier of fact. This includes the right to present witnesses, documents, photographs, and other relevant materials to help support your claim or defend against claims made against you.

  10. Right to Communication: You have the right to communicate with the court (to find out about court dates, judges assigned, etc.) and the opposing party (and their attorney) in accordance with court rules. But it is advisable to be respectful and professional in your communications.

The key thing to note though is that these rights do not extend to every single case or at every step along the way. In addition, these rights do not automatically render any specific result. If your right is outweighed by the court’s interest in safety or public interest then your rights might be trumped.

How these Rights are Ignored or Misapplied:

First off, just because you have these rights no one is obligated to exercise them for you but you. It is your responsibility to ensure that you are aware of your rights, that you bring them to the court’s attention, and that you seek to have them enforced. Even though judges and lawyers took oaths, which included acknowledging that litigants have rights, no one is going to be looking over their shoulders to ensure that they are in fact complying.

In addition, your rights are not self-sustaining once you do exercise them. In other words, stating your rights in one situation or scenario doesn’t extend to other situations. You should state your rights on every single occasion you feel necessary.

Exercising your rights doesn’t necessarily extend to any agents or fiduciaries of yours or the court. If you try to exercise your right to privacy, for example, to someone else in your family to safeguard your interests, it might not work.

The judges tend to do what benefits their own agendas, oftentimes at your expense. So that means, if they are more concerned with the court’s time they might tell you that your court appearance will not be recorded by a court reporter or recorder. This happens quite frequently actually. This is a trample on your rights though, no matter how they try to justify it.

What to Do When Your Rights are Violated

Ensuring that your rights are acknowledged can get really tricky when your major concern in Family Court is getting parenting time with your child(ren). The court typically throws things off course by acting in a way that disregards the rights you have. The thing is, raising your concerns about the infringements, can lead to disastrous consequences. If you file complaints and/or seek redress for rights violation grievances while your custody or divorce case is pending, speaking out against the court’s unjust treatments can delay or even deny you custody or visitation. The courts often take offense of any allegations of improprieties on their part.

Other more viable options, although few, are available. First, you can file motions that focus on the substantive aspects of your case. In other words, you can explore requests for relief that ask the court to re-examine its application of the law or procedure. Next, you can try to get a venue change if you can show that another court has jurisdiction. Or you can delay the case to coincide with the court cycle of judges. In other words, you can purposefully stall the case moving forward if you know how and when the sitting judge cycles out. Lastly, you can wait until your case is over and then appeal and/or file your grievances.

In Conclusion Family Court has the most discretion when it comes to how they operate. This includes how they implement measures to ensure fairness, just outcomes, and acting within the parameters of the Constitution (both federal and state). No matter which method you choose, seeking to enforce your rights should be done strategically. As with anything else, as a pro se litigant, you should take care to make your moves based on the outcome you have in sight.


If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

Case Theory in Your Divorce or Custody Case

Theory in Your Divorce or Custody Case

In your divorce or custody case, as in any other court case, you need to create a theory for your case. Judges have the difficult task of choosing which party to believe based on how they present their argument and case. This means that it is critically important for you to come up with a theory for your case that convinces the court to believe your side.

Creating a theory for your Family Court case is the starting point for establishing a persuasive argument to support your position as the more “fit” parent. The underlying test in any Family Court case is deciding which parent is more fit, or which parent is more likely to foster their child’s well-being.  In other words, each parent must convince the judge that they are the one most capable of ensuring their child’s physical, emotional, and intellectual well-being.  In that, having a theory essentially helps you to come up with a clear and convincing narrative that highlights why you believe you are in fact that parent and should have custody of your child or children.

The Theory Behind Having a Theory

Attorneys understand that practicing law is more about art than it is skill.  They understand that the law itself is an amorphous concept that can be interpreted in several different ways based on one’s position.  That’s why so many lawyers are covert creatives, they expand on that attribute when they are arguing their case.

Think about it, it’s the same law being argued the difference is the facts. So that means they are finagling the law to make it appear as if their set of facts fit best. The best way to ensure that you are able to do this successfully is by establishing a direct connection between the two.

Disadvantages of NOT Having a Theory

Lawyers know that they must have a theory if they want to have even a slight chance of “winning” their case. However, self-represented litigants often overlook or are unaware of how important this step is.  Self-represented litigants tend to think that every single issue (every misstep, shortcoming, flaw, or fault) of the other parent needs to be addressed in court. This is furthest from the truth. The courts don’t have the time, nor the interest, in listening to people air all of their dirty laundry. Not to mention, one runs the risk of missing some of the most critical issues in their case when they do this.  The law does have a place in Family Court cases and so narrowing down the facts to the ones that directly correlate to the law is a must.

Developing a Theory

Before you start working on creating your theory, keep these things in mind.

1. Understand the Law:

   – Familiarize yourself with your state’s custody laws, or Best Interests of the Child standards, as much as you are able to.  Although the standards are pretty straightforward, how they apply will vary based on your specific situation, amongst other things.

2. Gather Necessary Information:

   – Start to collect all relevant documents and information related to your child’s well-being, including school records, medical and therapy records, and anything to show past child-rearing responsibilities.

   – Start to document your involvement in your child’s life, such as attendance at school events, extracurricular activities, doctor’s appointments, and other significant milestones.

3. Identify Your Key Points:

   – Use the BIOTC standards to determine the main reasons why you believe you should have custody of your child. Be sure to base your arguments on the specifics set out in the BIOTC, not just on what you believe to be the best reasons.

4. Establish a Strong Narrative:

   – Practice creating a coherent and compelling narrative that explains why your custody request is in the child’s best interests. Be specific and tie in examples of specific situations or events wherever possible.

   – Get ahead of and address any potential weaknesses in your case, such as past issues or concerns, in a transparent and constructive manner. Explain how you have addressed or plan to address these concerns.

5. Consider the Child’s Best Interests:

   – Emphasize how your proposed custody arrangement will benefit the child. Courts typically prioritize the best interests of the child above all else, so be sure to focus on this aspect in your theory.

6. Support Your Claims with Adequate Evidence:

   – Back up your narrative with concrete evidence, such as documents, photographs, witnesses, and expert testimonies.  Be sure that your evidence directly relates to the key points of your theory.

7. Be Confident and Credible:

   – Be sure that your case is airtight. Take time to address each phase of your case to ensure that you give each sufficient thought. Also, be sure that you’re able to back up your facts and that they align with the other party’s version of events.  

8. Anticipate Counterarguments:

   – Take a deep dive into the other party’s arguments and claims to prepare for them. Consider what arguments or evidence the other party might present based on prior complaints, their petitions, etc., and be prepared to counter these points effectively in your theory.

9. Consult with at Least One Qualified Attorney:

   – It’s always strongly advised to consult with an experienced family law attorney in your jurisdiction. It is important to note that the attorney needs to be one who practices in your specific jurisdiction as they know local practices best.  Although there are few offering free consultations these days, some will offer reduced-fee ones.

10. Understand the Family Court Process:

    – Get familiar with how your particular court operates.  Your Family Court case will depend greatly on your court’s process, who the judges are, how your case is heard, etc. Therefore, it is important to understand that your case theory should also incorporate how the court’s process will impact your argument. If you don’t have a case theory at the start of your case, no need to fret you have time. However, if your case is headed in the direction of court involvement, or better yet, trial, then you must absolutely take the time to work on a case theory. If you are a self-represented litigant going against a lawyer-represented opposing party, you are begging for disaster if you don’t have a theory.  As I mentioned, lawyers know how incredibly important it is to create a theory so it would behoove you to do the same.


If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

Using Public Agencies Resources in Your Custody Battle

Agencies’ Resources in Family Court

Using Public Agencies’ Resources in Family Court

You absolutely need to use everything in your arsenal, or that’s at least available to you, if you have any chance of winning your custody or divorce case on your own. When I say on your own, I don’t mean literally. I mean if you are representing yourself, are pro se, then it is ever more important that you take advantage of all of the resources out there. Being pro se in Family Court is already very challenging, and can be more disastrous for your case, so you need to do what you can to minimize the obstacles from every direction.
Family Court is Smorgasbord

Look, let’s face it, Family Court is not your typical court. Not at, unlike most other courts, the Family Court encompasses the most sensitive topics regarding family, relationships, and parenting.  Some would go so far as to describe it as a confluence of a mental health facility, a social services agency, and a place for justice. And whether you agree or not, the reality is that Family Court is rarely ever solely about what’s being discussed in court. At the same time, since there’s always more going on than the obvious, there are typically several other resources or entities that can step in to diffuse most situations.

Being Preemptive in Family Court

Domestic violence (IPV), substance abuse, child abuse/neglect, mental health issues, and developmental issues are all prevalent in most, if not all, Family Court divorce or custody cases. Getting these issues addressed by the right authority can oftentimes minimize their impact on the court experience. It is best to not only take preventative measures whenever possible, but there at times when it’s best to take preemptive ones instead. This means preparing for the attack before the actual attack occurs. So, for instance, if you know that the other party or opposing counsel will raise issues of allegations of abuse, you would find out every procedure, program, etc. that would address the abuse. How you would use the insight will depend on the nature of the allegations, the extent to which they will play a role in your case and the possible outcomes.

Tips for Utilizing Agencies in your Divorce or Custody Case

When navigating a custody case, social service and public agencies can provide valuable support and resources. Here’s how you can effectively utilize them:

  1. Research relevant and applicable agencies: Almost any of the issues that are prevalent in Family Court have a corresponding agency that acts as a gatekeeper, monitor, or rehabilitative resource. Start by identifying the agencies that deal with these. Familiarize yourself with their roles, responsibilities, and services offered.
  1. Understand their processes: Learn about the specific processes and procedures followed by each agency. Always start by going to their website, where information about their structure, mission, procedure, etc. can be found. Then see if they hold public meetings, have information sessions, etc. so that you can establish contact with a person on staff.
  1. Make direct contact: It’s always ideal to have direct contact, via phone or email, where you can ask a staff person specific questions that can help you in your case or defend yourself in the case. You don’t need to divulge any sensitive information. In fact, it is advisable to be very careful that you don’t share particular issues of danger to mandated reporters, where you can be implicated unless you are prepared to present your defense. Consult with a family law attorney to understand the best approach for involving public agencies in your particular custody case. They can guide you through the legal aspects and help you navigate the specific requirements and protocols.
  1. Use the information in your case in court or as part of negotiations: Once you know how the agency works, what the criteria are, what they offer, etc. you can use it in your case no matter what position you’re in with respect to it. That means you can use it to work on your case’s weaknesses, use it to request appropriate services for the other party, or use it to get the help you need for your child(ren).
  1. Collaborate with professionals: Public agencies often work closely with professionals such as social workers, counselors, evaluators, GALs and lawyers. Be cooperative and open to their involvement, as their assessments and recommendations can influence the outcome of your case. Provide them with any relevant information or evidence that can support your position.
  1. Take advantage of any rehabilitative programs offered: Lots of these agencies have preventive classes, workshops, etc. offered for free or reduced costs. Things like parent education, sobriety programs, etc. are usually topics covered.
  1. Maintain documentation: Keep detailed records of all interactions, communications, and documents exchanged with the public agencies involved in your case. These records can serve as valuable evidence and help ensure that your concerns and actions are accurately documented.
  1. Follow up and stay informed: Stay engaged in the process by regularly communicating with the agency and using what you’ve learned or worked on to your benefit.
In Conclusion

Remember, every jurisdiction might have different processes and guidelines regarding the involvement of social services and public agencies in divorce or custody cases. Not to mention, judges are not too fond of litigants abusing or misappropriating these agencies’ resources. However, they can certainly defer to any recommendations, commendations, etc. made by these agencies and rely on them to help make sound rulings.


If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

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Strategy in Going to Mediation as Pro Se in Custody

Some Family Courts make their business to incorporate means of handling custody cases in the most amicable way possible. Although there are what are called alternative dispute resolution methods, Family Court is different from Civil Court in that respect. In Civil Court, there are several alternatives to litigation, like arbitration, cooperative, etc. Family Court, on the other hand, relies on mediation and collaborative law, as their means for coming up with low-conflict or “peaceful” ways to resolve cases.

Mediation in Family Court custody cases is a process where a neutral third-party professional (either a lawyer, therapist or someone specifically trained in the field of family law) will meet with the parties to help them come up with an agreement to resolve custody and visitation. The focus of mediation is to give the parties the guidance they need to come up with a voluntary agreement on their own. The parties have much more freedom to make their own decisions with respect to their case and thus are more likely to do it amicably (at least in theory). The meetings are usually confidential, meaning the parties are restricted from discussing anything shared in mediation in court. This is to ensure the parties feel comfortable enough to openly discuss their issues which ensures their willingness to work together on coming up with an agreement. Custody issues discussed in mediation, including legal and physical custody; parenting schedules; parenting plans and anything related to these.

Why Attend Mediation Pro Se:

Custody mediation is not intended to be very adversarial so representation would seem unnecessary. However, there are times when the court requires mediation, and doesn’t take into consideration the high conflict that already exists in the case. If this is the case, then chances are the parties are represented anyway. But in instances where mediation is not required, or the case is not high conflict, representing yourself serves many purposes.

It is not a secret that attorneys can make any custody case more volatile by their mere presence. Attorneys tend to want to drag things out, prolong getting certain things done, or do other things that can make things worse. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when their tactics are legitimate, and just happen to make things more complex. But when it comes to mediation, unless there are extremely sensitive topics that require the expertise of an attorney or that an attorney would be suited to address in mediation, appearing pro se is certainly doable.

Strategy in Going to Custody Mediation Pro Se:

Strategy is critically important when you self-represent in any court, but certainly Family Court. Since Family Court is known for its propensity to issue inconsistent, biased and/or illogical decisions, having a solid gameplan for navigating it is essential. It entails assessing where you are, identifying the other party’s goals & anticipating how they plan to reach them, discerning the strengths & weaknesses of both sides’ cases, and coming up with a plan based on all of these.  This is how you ensure that your next moves are something that will get you closer to achieving your desired results.

Well, how can you identify the other party’s goals or weigh the strengths or weaknesses of their case if you don’t know them? You have to put yourself in the position to hear what they have to say and what better way than in a setting where they feel comfortable sharing? Whether you settle your custody case in mediation or not, it is always an opportunity to see the other party’s hand. Even though you’re prohibited from sharing anything discussed in mediation in court, that doesn’t mean you can’t use the information to help you position your case better.

You will have more understanding of the overall custody court process, gain more insight into whether you need to hire an attorney and be better prepared to move your case forward towards trial.

Tips to Getting the Most Out of Your Custody Mediation:

In conclusion, custody mediation should be viewed as an opportunity no matter which direction your case is headed in. There are advantages to mediation as a self-represented litigant that you would not necessarily experience with an attorney.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

How to Get “Wins” as Self-Represented Against an Attorney

Self Representation in Family Court is becoming more and more widespread. Statistics indicate that Family Court has the highest level of self-represented litigants of all court systems, right after housing court. Of course, these high numbers are the result of low-income families finding themselves in these unfavorable predicaments. However, there are more middle-income earners who are opting for representing themselves in Family Courts for a variety of reasons.

The legal fees, the unpredictable outcomes, and e major disappointments are just a few reasons pro se litigants choose to go it alone. Particularly for the litigants that started out with an attorney or who were in court previously and understand the process more, going to court self-represented is a no-brainer.

Understanding the Family Court System

No matter which side of the table you sit on, it is an absolute must to start by familiarizing yourself with the “real” Family Court system, not the one you made up in your head. The real Family Court system does not focus on fairness or concerns itself with what you think is best for your child, or works with you to minimize conflict.  No, they won’t do any of these.

You might hear the judge, the lawyers, the GAL, and maybe even other litigants tell you these, but I wouldn’t rely on any of this.  The Family Court is one that is premised on doing what best serves its own agenda, that is whatever it takes to meet its bureaucratic goals.

What does this mean for you? It means that the sooner you learn to “think” like the court and “see” things from the court’s point of view, the greater your chances of getting the outcome you want. So yes, the law matters but that is only a portion of what impacts the overall outcome of your case. And you don’t have to have gone to law school to conquer the complexities of Family Court.

What Advantages the Family Court Attorney Has Over a Pro Se Opponent

Let’s be honest, I mean brutally honest, you will never be able to learn everything there is to know about the law from watching videos, taking courses or reading books. I mean lawyers don’t even know everything about the law and they study it daily. Lawyers are usually great critical thinkers, good at problem-solving, and excel at being strategic.

They are able to sharpen their skills every single time they go to court and practice thinking on cue. Not to mention, they know how to find, not just the law or the rules, but the exceptions to these and how to apply them. They’re able to argue persuasively too, which also puts them at an advantage. In other words, lawyers have a huge head start, advancing way ahead of you as the pro se litigant.

However, lawyers are not gods, they have flaws, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities just like you. This means, that they can be “beat”, even by a self-represented litigant. Yes, their research skills are superb, yes, they can come up with the most persuasive arguments on the fly, and yes they can finagle the court’s rules to their advantage, but so what. So can you! 

Level the Playing Field Against an Attorney

Developing a solid strategy is the most crucial part of representing yourself, especially when you’re up against an attorney. I hate to repeat myself, but you will never get the equivalent of a law school education without going to law school. But you can certainly give your opposing counsel a run for their money. But it will take work, self-determination, and discipline with a large dose of confidence to have even the slightest chance.

You would have to prepare yourself by putting all the pieces together AFTER you find all the pieces. That’s right, research, research, and more research will help you out a lot. The lawyer will try to take advantage of your lack of knowledge, of your lack of confidence, and of your lack of resilience and so it’s your job to stop them.  If can you learn to anticipate their next move and be ready to act on it, that would also shoot up your chances at the “win”.

Master the Art of Persuasive Presentation

Presenting your case persuasively is vital when self-representing. Pay attention to your communication skills, both written and verbal. Ensure your written submissions, such as pleadings and affidavits, are well-organized, articulate, and concise. Craft compelling arguments that highlight your key points effectively. Practice your oral presentations, including courtroom etiquette, tone of voice, and body language. Effective presentation will help you make a strong impression on the judge and increase the chances of a favorable outcome.

Utilize Courtroom Procedures and Etiquette

Familiarize yourself with courtroom procedures and etiquette to ensure a smooth and professional experience. Dress appropriately, demonstrate respect for the court, and address the judge as “Your Honor.” Learn how to navigate objections, cross-examinations, and courtroom protocols. Follow the rules of evidence and ensure any evidence you present is admissible. Being well-versed in courtroom procedures will help you maintain credibility and navigate the process confidently.

Seek Guidance and Support

Even though you’re representing yourself, it doesn’t mean you have to navigate the journey alone. Seek guidance and support from legal resources, self-help centers, or organizations that offer assistance to self-represented individuals. They can provide valuable information, templates, and guidance specific to your jurisdiction. Additionally, consider joining support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who have gone through similar experiences. Sharing insights and learning from others can boost your confidence and provide emotional support during this challenging process.

Here are some key pointers to keep in mind:

  1. Be Prepared for Challenges

Self-representation can come with its fair share of challenges, including complex legal issues, emotional stress, and unexpected obstacles. Be prepared for setbacks and setbacks and remain resilient. Adapt your strategies when necessary, and don’t be afraid to seek professional advice or consider limited-scope legal representation for specific aspects of your case. Remember, self-representation is a learning process, and each experience will contribute to your growth and knowledge.

 With the right tools, strategies, and mindset, self-representation can be a viable option in the Family Court system. Understanding the system, thorough preparation, strategic planning, persuasive presentation, familiarity with courtroom procedures, seeking guidance and support, and being prepared for challenges are essential elements to make self-representation work. By leveraging these insights and applying them to your case, you can position yourself for success and work towards achieving a favorable outcome in your divorce or custody proceedings.

Throughout the process of self-representation, it’s crucial to maintain professionalism and emotional control. Family Court cases can be emotionally charged, but it’s essential to separate your emotions from the legal proceedings. Stay focused on the facts, legal arguments, and the best interests of any children involved. Avoid personal attacks or confrontations with the other party and their attorney. Present yourself as a composed, respectful, and credible individual, as this will enhance your credibility in the eyes of the judge.

While self-representation can be empowering, it’s essential to know your limits. Some complex legal issues may require specialized knowledge or expertise. If you encounter challenging legal matters or reach a point where you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking limited-scope representation. Limited-scope representation involves hiring an attorney to handle specific aspects of your case, such as drafting legal documents or providing guidance on complex legal issues. This approach allows you to benefit from professional assistance while still maintaining control over the overall direction of your case.

The Family Court system is ever-evolving, and laws and procedures may change over time. As a self-represented individual, it’s important to stay informed and continuously update your knowledge. Keep up with legal updates, court rulings, and changes in your jurisdiction’s Family Court practices. Attend relevant workshops, seminars, or webinars to enhance your understanding of the legal system and improve your self-representation skills. By staying informed and adapting your strategies as needed, you can effectively navigate the complexities of the Family Court system.

Effective communication is vital throughout your self-representation journey. Keep all lines of communication with the court, the other party, and any involved professionals clear and open. Respond promptly to correspondence, attend scheduled hearings or meetings, and be respectful in all interactions. Clear communication demonstrates your professionalism and commitment to the process, fostering a more productive environment for resolving your case.

Organizational skills are crucial when representing yourself. Create a system to keep track of all important documents, deadlines, and appointments related to your case. Maintain a well-organized file with labeled sections for different types of documents. Set reminders for upcoming deadlines and ensure that you meet them. Proactively staying on top of paperwork and deadlines will help you present your case more effectively and avoid unnecessary complications.

While you may have specific goals in mind for your case, it’s important to be open to compromise. Family Court judges often appreciate parties who demonstrate a willingness to find reasonable solutions and work towards reaching agreements. Assess your priorities and be prepared to negotiate on certain aspects of your case. Collaborative problem-solving can lead to more satisfactory outcomes and reduce the emotional toll of prolonged litigation.

Accurate and reliable legal research is essential for effective self-representation. Make use of reputable legal resources, such as official statutes, court rules, and published case opinions. Ensure that you understand the legal principles and precedents that apply to your case. Utilize online legal databases, law libraries, or legal research platforms to access up-to-date information. By relying on sound legal research, you can build strong arguments and make persuasive submissions to the court.

While you may be representing yourself, there may be instances where seeking professional consultations can benefit your case. Consider scheduling consultations with family law attorneys on specific legal issues or complex matters. They can provide valuable insights, help you assess the strength of your arguments, and offer guidance on strategic decisions. Even though you are not retaining full legal representation, limited consultations can provide valuable support and help you fine-tune your approach.

Conclusion Remember, self-representation requires dedication, knowledge, and perseverance. By implementing these strategies and taking an active role in your case, you can increase your chances of success in the Family Court system. Although the process may seem daunting, with the right mindset and resources, self-representation can empower you to protect your interests and achieve favorable outcomes.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here.

The Common Misconceptions of being Pro se in Family Court

The legal community has the tradition of discouraging people from representing themselves in court.  No matter who you talk to and what the issue is, lawyers and judges will undoubtedly talk you into hiring an attorney for your case. And with reason, as the legal process can be quite complex and can have your dire consequences.  Lawyers don’t go to law school for three years for the sport of it, they learn some very valuable skills that prepares them for the challenges of working with the law.  However, there are instances where hiring a lawyer is not the best route, especially when the individual is capable, the issues are not that complex and the possible outcomes are not that catastrophic.

Beliefs about Hiring a Family Law Attorney:

I worked as a family law attorney for several years and have noticed some common thoughts people have about hiring an attorney to help them with their divorce or custody case.  The most prevalent thought is that having an attorney would get them much more than they can get on their own.  And although this is certainly the case in some instances, it’s not the case in all situations.  Getting what you want or what you demand in your divorce or custody case has more to do with the issues, the laws, your jurisdiction, the judge, etc than just having an attorney by your side.  Thus, there are instances where it doesn’t matter whether you are represented or not, these other factors can render much better outcomes than not.

Another popular belief is that attorneys know the judge and that too can get litigants the best results. Tons of people think that no matter the merits of their case, having an attorney whose familiar with the judge is a slam dunk. This is definitely not the case. Let’s think about this, legal communities are provincial, everyone knows everyone within specific specialties and particular jurisdictions. So that means, if both parties have an attorney chances are they both know the judge so who “wins” then? Don’t get me wrong, there are times where a lawyer has to call in a favor with the judge, but they’re not prone to call in that favor unless it’s “big” win for them to begin with.

Truths about Working with a Family Law Attorney:

There are some truths about family law attorneys that go far beyond what most people think. The first one I can think of is, their main concern is not what your concerns are.  Your staying in the marital home, your being able to keep your children more than the other parent does, etc. are not their major concern. Not at all, they are probably more caught up with can you pay, how will you pay, and how much it will cost them to represent you.  I bet you didn’t have a clue that these were some of their thoughts, right? Well of course they want you to content, notice I didn’t say “happy” because no one is ever happy in family court. Family law attorneys know that custody and divorce issues can run on forever, so there has to something in it for them.

Self-Representation or Pro Se as an Option

Self-representation or pro se can mean a number of things while getting you the same outcome as if you were lawyer represented. There are so many options out there now that suits the litigant who chooses to go it alone in Family Court. Note, I am not referring to the people who don’t have a choice to go to court pro se due to lack of funds. I am talking about the people who are aware of the truths about Family Court and believe they can navigate it on their own. There are options to help the people who fall under this category.

Unbundled Services is an option in this instance. These are one time tasks like document preparation, document editing, court filing, legal research, etc. that you can hire a service to do for you. There is no contractual obligation or huge retainer fees, just pay for the specific service. NOTE: The unauthorized practice of law is something to keep an eye out for as some states are very strict about what people can do with respect to document preparation and editing.

Limited scope is where the pro se litigant hires an attorney to perform specific tasks, as in Unbundled Services, but it can include making a one-time court appearance.

Pro Se coaching is another option where the pro se litigant can have someone advise them on the court process, researching, filings, etc. NOTE: Pro Se coaches are prohibited from giving legal advice.

Whichever option you choose, it is still advisable to get at least two (2) consultations from experienced attorneys in your jurisdiction so that you are at least aware of the possibility outcomes.

What You Can Expect Representing Yourself in Family Court

You will not win any favor with the judge, the opposing party’s lawyer or court staff when you choose to represent yourself in Family Court. In fact, there are some jurists that will deliberately make your life a living hell when you show up pro se. But this is an intimidation tactic used by most of them. The judge will, in some instances, threaten to rule a certain way or similar if you insist on being pro se. This is wrong! Unfortunately, though, a lot of litigants are scared into spending money they don’t have to hire an attorney.  Sometimes, too, they will settle on terms that know they don’t agree with just to avoid the judge carrying through on their threat.

The procedural rules is what’s most challenging for pro se litigants in Family Court. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not an easy feat to work your way through court procedure on your own. But it’s not brain surgery either. If you have great research skills, are very organized and are determined, you can handle the procedural rules.

If you are good at problem solving and have superb critical thinking skills, then you have a better chance at working through Family Court’s complex system. It isn’t for the people who give up easily, who need support with the basics or who get caught up in their emotions too much to focus. Not to say that if any of these things apply to you that you are doomed, but I’d certainly thing twice if I were you.

Representing yourself in family court requires careful preparation, knowledge of the legal system, and effective advocacy skills.

Conclusion:

While representing yourself can be advantageous in so many respsects, it is essential to recognize when you may need legal guidance. If you encounter complex legal issues, are unsure about court procedures, or feel overwhelmed by the process, consider at least consulting with an attorney to ensure you are adequately prepared and supported. Representing yourself in your divorce or custody case requires a strategic and well-prepared approach. By employing advanced strategies such as thorough legal research, superb critical thinking skills, stellar organization, and addressing potential challenges, you can strengthen your case and increase your chances of achieving a favorable outcome.

If you wish to discuss your options as a pro se (self-represented) party, please feel free to visit here.  If you are interested in our unique Pro Se Family Court Membership program, please find out more here. 

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